Yearly Archives - 2021

26Jul

He-Man and Bonfire of the Vanities

Mattel appears to be extremely unhappy with Kevin Smith. The toy sales for the Master of the Universe Revelation are reportedly non-existent. Whatever brand manager at Mattel who had the ingenuous notion of hiring professional nerd-whore Kevin Smith to helm the Netflix He-Man mini-series has cleaned out his desk by now. The new guy is clearly leaning on Kevin. Kevin Smith’s immediate stream after Revelation was launched had him bellowing joyfully about having killed He-Man TWICE.  And how proud he was to have...

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24Jul

Drinker Watches the Teela Show for Us All

Which is good because I wasn't taking that bullet for you guys.Honestly, I don't give a fuck about He-Man. There are basically two types of Gen-Xer. The Prince Gen-Xer and the Micheal Jackson Gen-Xer. It was an inter-generational thing depending on your age.* He-Man was for the Michael Jackson portion of the Real Greatest Generation.I don't have a dog in this fight which not to say I have no stake in it at all. Everything is...

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23Jul

Kevin Smith’s Career Stain

It’s over for Kevin Smith. He’s completed his decent into pop-culture irrelevance. Far from generating buzz for his Masters of the Universe Revelation series, he has sucked the air out of the room by diverting all talk away from this Teela series and focusing it on his ridiculous Gamma-fueled feud with the husband-and-wife YouTuber team that runs Clownfish TV. They had heard a rumor that the new He-Man series Smith was working on, would feature a lesbian Teela and no He-Man.  They...

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23Jul

The Dark Herald Recommends Sandman

This one is going to be briefAudible recently produced Neil Gaiman’s Sandman as an audio play.In a nutshell, it’s the comic book in audio form. Basically a one for one of the first series of comic books commonly called Preludes and Nocturnes.If you enjoyed the comic book then you’ll enjoy this. If you didn’t, then there is nothing here for you.The performances are professional. The music and sound are up to Audible’s usual standard.The problem with it is what it’s...

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20Jul

Tuesday Morning Irritations

I'm stealing time like a thief at the moment.I'm still grinding my teeth over Black Rifle Coffee Company's Tom Fuckery on the New York Times. I'm mad at myself for having been that much of a chump about those guys. All the signs were there, they never really hid that they were Cuckservatives in 2nd Amendment hats. I chose to believe that they were trying to keep below the eggshells and rotten tomatoes while running a company...

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19Jul

Black Widow Craters on Second Weekend

I told you this was coming. The second weekend take is in, and it is an utter disaster for Disney/Marvel.From Deadline:"If you want to know what the negative impact is by having a Marvel movie available in homes and in theaters at the same time, well, here it is: That’s the steepest second-weekend drop ever for a Disney-distributed MCU title, beating Ant-Man and the Wasp (-62%)."It's much worse than that. Black Widow's take for this weekend is $26 million. The grand total is...

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16Jul

Star Trek IV Reaanounced…Again

This is...what the fourth time now?So, yeah. The fourth of the Bad Reboot associated Star Trek movies has been announced yet again.From Deadline:"After orchestrating the Marvel/Disney+ series WandaVision to a 23- Emmy-nomination haul, Matt Shakman (Oh god, please no) has made a deal to direct the next untitled Star Trek film for Paramount and Bad Robot’s JJ Abrams.Deadline hears the film will now move at warp speed (*GAG*) and begin production next spring. They have a script by Lindsey Beer and Geneva Robertson-Dworet. This is...

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15Jul

Loki Ended in the Worst Way Possible

Loki was very much an Identity Politics driven show.This, unsurprisingly, brought along a lot of Woke baggage as well a variety of Mary Sue feminist heroines.The title character started off as a Loki who gets pulled out of time at the end of the first Avengers movie.  He has not undergone the redemption arc that will turn him from trickster villain to trickster hero.  Which was what people who tuned into this expected to see.  Loki would go through a hero’s journey...

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12Jul

The Dark Herald Recommends Black Widow

The biggest question over this film; is Marvel Studios capable of self-renewal?It’s the issue that hangs over any Hollywood winning streak.  No matter how big a franchise is, it doesn’t take a lot to make the audience walk away from it.  The calendar flips, presidents are changed, the new and exciting makes the old “new and exciting” look dull and cliched.  Did you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were once the biggest stars in Hollywood? It’s true!I’ll answer this question at...

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12Jul

Interesting Theory: Black Widow a Hit?

Disney says it.  So, it must be true.Mickey the Great and Terrible is claiming a global haul of $230 million world wide for Black Widow’s opening weekend.Nothing suspicious about that.  Unless you actually look at it for a second. It might have a few problems then.$60 million on Disney Plus$80 million domestic Box Office$79 million foreign BO.These numbers are really, really ROUND.  I mean they hit their objectives on the nose.  And…AND they got exactly what Disney said they were going to get.  Nothing suspicious...

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