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The Dark Herald Recommends: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
It’s not the worst thing I’ve seen this year. I have to give it that. I’m afraid I can’t give it a lot else. Beetlejuice x 2, is a sequel that feels like a sequel. Tim Burton didn’t really want to make it. Winona Ryder and Jenna Ortega didn’t really want to star in it. But Michael Keaton delivered on it. I suspect this movie only got made in the first place because Ryder and Keaton’s stock has risen in the past...
The ABC Whistleblower Has Come Forth
Normally the Arkhaven Blog isn’t a political blog. But this crosses over onto my turf. Dana Walden has up until now been the most likely candidate to succeed Bob Iger as the CEO of Disney. This may… I must stress, may have just been changed. The ABC WhistleBlower covered his tracks, his affidavits sworn on penalty of perjury were mailed before the debate. Basically he predicted everything that happened that night. Dana Walden is already taking questions from the very friendly Variety. Meaning...
September 13, 1999 Breakaway Day
Twenty-five years ago today, Earth's Moon was blasted out of orbit and into deep space. To this day we have no clue as to the fate of Commander John Koenig and the three hundred souls under his command at Moonbase Alpha. We know from their last transmissions that they had somehow survived the catastrophe but beyond that nothing. The tidal forces of the Moon being ripped out of orbit left Earth in throws of tsunamis, earthquakes, and other seismic upheavals (probably...
The 21st Century of Gerry Anderson – Space 1999 (part 1)
When I first saw the Millennium Falcon as a little kid in 1977, I thought it was the coolest thing in all existence. There was nothing about it that I didn’t love. The WWII AA guns were cool, the B-29 bomber bridge was cool, even the boarding ramp was cool. I had literal dreams about the Falcon. I was in love. That isn’t to say that it didn’t raise a question in my young little head. If this was a freighter, where did you put the...
The 21st Century of Gerry Anderson- Space 1999 (part 2)
One of the biggest disappointments of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson’s professional lives had to be the poor reception of Journey to the Far Side of the Sun. It was their only theatrical release, and it was a bomb. Gerry Anderson had put his heart into the project. The script was as good as he could make it. There were plenty of thrills and chills, and while the basic science of a film that was supposed to be hard science fiction didn’t pass the smell...
The 21st Century of Gerry Anderson- Space 1999 (Part 3)
Part 1, and Part 2 Barbara Bain must have loved this DVD cover Space 1999 completed its first season with a good deal of critical praise and a strong following among genre fans. A strong following doesn’t mean a big one. ITC head, Lew Grade had been very disappointed by the lack of an American network sale and as usual, was seeing very little reason to continue the show. It was pretty expensive and although it wasn’t losing money, it wasn’t making...
It Was Igertha All Along
On February 25, 2020, Bob Iger held a surprise press conference. There was a new CEO of the Walt Disney Company. Standing beside Iger was a shaven-headed man with no charisma. Everybody who watched that press conference could tell there was something way off about Iger. Chapek could see it too, as reporters shifted their attention to him, fifteen years of watching The Boss’s body language told him that Bob Iger was becoming angry. Back in 2015, at the Burbank campus...
Ubisoft’s Shareholder Revolt
Hoo-Boy, these investors are steamed at Ubisoft. Rightfully so. Ubisoft’s stock price has cratered from a high of $23 to $2.61 today. If you had sunk $1,000,000 into Ubisoft when the stock was at its height, you would have a market value of $113,000 today. Ubisoft has been a notable DEI trainwreck of a gaming company this year. Ubisoft has over-monetized and underdelivered on its AAA (Sorry I mean AAAA) games. The company owned a monster with Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag. ...
Rings of Power: S2 Episode 4 – Dark Forest of Darkest Darkness
I'd much rather watch this Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is proving to be a notable malinvest on Amazon’s part. I’m honestly not sure what the business plan was for this program and that is assuming that it ever had one other than being a vanity project to impress Jeff Bezos's mistress. If that is the case then The Rings of Power’s only notable accomplishment has been to make Mackenzie Scott Bezos the richest woman on the planet...
GaimanGate Update: Called It!
#TheDarkHeraldWasRight Good Omens season 3 has been "delayed." I called this back in August when the Coraline sequel went from green light to red light. The Tumblrinas are sobbing about this because of course they are. Granted, these are mostly Tennant fan girls but they are exactly the kind of women that Gaiman would allegedly victimize. Prime Video has halted production on the final season of “Good Omens.” The decision comes two months after series creator and showrunner Neil...
Darth Vader Falls Silent
There wasn't a single Generation X boy who didn't at least once (when no one was looking) wheez mechanically in and out through his teeth and pitching his voice as deep as it go, growl, "I. HAVE. YOU. NOW." James Earl Jones has passed away at the age of 93. Born in 1931 in Arkabutla, Alabama to a mixed race heritage of Irish, Cherokee, and of course African American. His father was a prize fighter, turned actor turned deadbeat. His...
Top 5 Rorschach Heroes
Joker II is launching soon and frankly, it's going to bomb. They don't have the slightest freaking idea why Joker sold or how to replicate that success. Since it mostly stars Lady Gaga as Harlot Quinn I don't they are even trying. Now the first one was an earthquake for Hollywood. Walter Hamada, before Zaslav fired him, had sold off the revenue before it hit the box office so Warner Brothers saw almost nothing of that $1 billion. ...
LucasFilm Comes For Nerdrotic and Company
The Acolyte has turned out to have had a far greater impact in death than it ever had in life. There really wasn't much going on out of the ordinary while the Acolyte was streaming new episodes. New episodes are streamed on Disney+ once a week. The Fandom Menace (myself included would shell it), repeat until the season was over. Although, now that I think about it an outright cancelation is something new. I mean sure there are Star Wars projects...
Harddrive-by: Concord
Harddrive-by is particularly appropriate when discussing this game. It has been shot dead There has been so much going on in the gaming scene and I’ve had so little time to pay any attention to it. I’d started to write a piece on Dustborn, the Wokest disaster in gaming when Concord, the second Wokest blew up in the wire. Concord AKA Portland-Overwatch was in development for eight tragic years. Which means it started life back when Overwatch was the biggest thing in...
The Rings of Power Ep 2-3: Orcs Are Immigrants Too!
“For every one pupil who needs to be guarded against a weak excess of sensibility there are three who need to be awakened from the slumber of cold vulgarity. The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts. The right defence against false sentiments is to inculcate just sentiments. By starving the sensibility of our pupils we only make them easier prey to the propagandist when he comes. For famished nature will be...
Fools Parade – Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power
REPOST: This is post from September two years ago but it is unusually timely at the moment. But now Ilúvatar sat and hearkened, and for a great while it seemed good to him, for in the music there were no flaws. But as the theme progressed, it came into the heart of Melkor to interweave matters of his own imagining that were not in accord with the theme of Ilúvatar; for he sought therein to increase the power and glory of...
Josh Brolin Offered the Role of Hal Jordan
James Gunn is going heavy into the Green Lanterns for some Gunnish reason of his own. “Lanterns” will tackle two intergalactic cops (Hal Jordan and John Stewart) investigating a murder in the American heartland. Nathan Fillion is set to co-star in the series as Guy Gardner. No word yet on whether Gardner or Jordan will be portraying the Green Lantern as both characters have done so in the comics. Damon Lindelof (‘Watchmen”) will be an executive producer on the show. Chris...
The Fall of Gaiman Begins: Deadboy Detectives is Dead
Neil Gaiman's second series at Netflix has been axed. For some mysterious reason... "The first season, which dropped on April 25, will now be the final season for the show, which was originally set up at Max. The news is not entirely surprisng..." Yeah, no kidding. "Dead Boy Detective spent only three weeks in Netflix’s Top 10 for English-language series, peaking at #2 in Week 1 behind phenom Baby Reindeer. Based on the comics of the same name by Neil Gaiman and part of The...
The Rings of Power Season 2 Ep 1 – Guess What? It’s Still Bad
"I am the Elder King: Melkor, first and mightiest of the Valar, who was before the world, and made it. The shadow of my purpose lies upon Arda, and all that is in it bends slowly and surely to my will. But upon all whom you love my thought shall weigh as a cloud of Doom, and it shall bring them down into darkness and despair. Wherever they go, evil shall arise. Whenever they speak, their words shall bring ill...
Totally Eighties Indies: Comico
Back in 1982, even the movies that flopped became classics. Imagine that for a second, you go to the Googleplex Theater and have to pick between Conan the Barbarian, The Thing, Tron, Blade Runner, or The Dark Crystal, and these were the misses. As for the hits, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was a box office win but E.T. left it so far in the dust that the dust had settled before the Enterprise could reach it. ...
Oh Thank Glob! I Thought It Was Gonna Suck!
The reviews are in and I'm so relieved to find out that my fears were completely unfounded. and that... "The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power may not be everything we hoped it would be – how could it? But for now, it’s enough." NPR Clearly, a stellar production that will vastly outshine the first season. Most of the reviews are like this. Just enough praise to qualify as a good review, while at the same time bringing up everything that's...
1990s Gothic Superheroes: The Crow
The year is 1981, Berlin is the divided capital of a divided country. For decades this has been the place World War III would start once the Cold War turns hot. At any given moment gunfire from the East will snap out into the night air as someone makes a life-or-death dash across the border to escape the socialist workers' paradise of East Germany. The Berlin Brigade is a division-strength US Army garrison permanently stationed on the West side. As...
YES PLEASE! This Version of War of the Rorirrim!
This is the Japanese trailer for War of the Rohirrim, and it would appear to be for an entirely different and much better movie. This film looks like it was directed by Kenji Kamiyama, the guy who made Ghost in the Shell S.A.C. and the Ultraman TV series. I am now more than a little curious about which version of this flick is going to show up in the theaters. Was this Warner Brothers marketing department being honest about this being a...
Rangz Book 2: The Warm Up
I. Hate. You. All. The Darkness is descending upon us. Season 2 of Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power will sweep over the world in less than a week now. Amazon is making the laughable promise that they will be truer to the lore this season. The problem is they can't be because they wrote themselves into a corner two years ago. Judging from the trailer they are clearly hoping you forgot all about it. Unfortunately this...
Blogs and Ends: The Dude Bros Edition
I can’t believe this is still trending on X. It’s been three days and the Sith Shipper Simps are still sobbing about The Acolyte being canceled. Normally I wouldn’t still be covering this but the latest line complaint is too funny to ignore. “The Star Wars Incel Dude Bros won!!!!” Okay, ladies first of all it’s fundamentally impossible to be both an Incel and Dude-Bro at the same time. A guy is pretty much stuck being one or the other. Also,...
The Dark Herald Recommends: Time Crimes (Los cronocrímenes)
This 2007 Spanish movie is proof that you don’t need a big budget to make a good film. It’s really more of a thriller than science fiction, although there are a few sci-fi concepts regarding time travel and paradoxes. It’s nothing you aren’t already familiar with if you’ve read Heinlein’s All You Zombies. Hector and his wife live in the Spanish countryside. One day Hector is scanning the forrest surrounding their house and sees young, beautiful blonde girl. Since he was...
The Thread is Cut
Four years in the making and Disney’s Star Wars: The Acolyte is scrapped. I reported on it briefly last night and I figured that was all that would needed on the subject. However, there are people who seem to be genuinely upset by this. I could understand Lesley Headland and her crew being down in the dumps but these are people who aren’t paid by Disney, I know that because Disney wouldn’t throw money to shills for a failed product...
Motoko’s Voice is Silenced
One of the most versatile voice actresses in the field of anime has passed away. Atsuko Tanaka died last night at the age 61. Her 292 credits stretch back 30 years, during that time she voiced everything from Black Jack and Ghost in the Shell to Miss Marple and The Cat Returns.
Star Wars The Acolyte is Canceled
There will be no season 2. My shocked face is broken.
The Dark Herald Recommends – Alien: Romulus
It’s an incredible irony that the greatest science fiction horror movie of all time started life as a comedy. Dan O’Bannon’s first script, shot with his friend John Carpenter, was the cult classic Dark Star. It’s about a scout ship on a 20 year mission that looks for “unstable planets” then destroys them with an AI controlled super bomb. The crew spends three years in cryosleep between missions, (sound familiar?) One of the characters, Sergeant Pinback has a pet alien that...
Neil Gaiman’s Coraline Sequel Gets Unfortunate Update
It's from Comicbook.com so they are going to great pains to avoid mentioning certain... Uh... Things. Just two months after news broke that Coraline filmmaker Henry Selick was planning to adapt Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane, the filmmaker now says it looks like that movie is in a pretty uncertain state. At the time, Selick had said he hoped to make it his next film if he could find studio backing, but it's possible that with...
Gamer Gate Is Over, We Won
Gaming journalism is dead. It died last week. Gideon Litchfield, the Editor and Chief has thrown Wired’s credibility completely down the toilet. He has come forward defending Wired’s ludicrous 1/10 rated review of Hogwarts Legacy. There is no part of this review that isn’t laughably incompetent on every level. It fails at everything a review should try to do. The reviewer in question “Jaina Grey” doesn’t do game reviews at all. Jaina’s beat (sorry for that choice of word) is anal sex...