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Disney Commits to the Critical Race Cult, Imposes “Training” Upon Its Employees

I knew Disney was going downhill fast but they have hit the Nitro button and thrown a lead brick on the accelerator. A blockbuster leak of internal Disney training documents has hit the web. And at first, I honestly, thought they had to be fake. There was no way in hell Disney could sink this far, this fast. But the Disney watermarks have been clearly identified on these docs by independent corroboration. They are absolutely authentic...

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I WAS ONLY JOKING!!!

It's Lando. Lando Calrissian is now the first official LGBTQASDFQWERTY at LucasFilm. From Bounding Into Comics "Marvel Comics And Star Wars believe that Lando Calrissian is an LGBTQ+ character and will feature him on one of their six Star Wars Pride Variant Covers. On the official Star Wars website, a blog post revealing the cover reads, “StarWars.com is thrilled to offer a first look at the entire slate of covers: Star Wars: War of the Bounty Hunters #1, featuring our favorite rogue archaeologist, Doctor Aphra,...

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The Wonderful World of Arkhaven

It’s funny how words change their meaning with time. When I was in college, there was a road trip I took with some friends. Because when you are in college, getting drunk where you are at isn’t good enough.  You need to go someplace else to get really hammered.  I suppose it makes sense from the standpoint of “don’t shit in your own yard.”  And drunken college students are given to public displays of every excretory bodily function possible, so it makes sense...

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Vampire Rules (Part II)

In 1931 Universal Film Studios was faced with a fairly serious problem.   They had a decision to make and no matter what that decision was, they were going to lose money on it.  And they had to do it now, they couldn't put it off any longer.  Al Jolson's The Jazz Singer (1927) had completely rewritten the rule book. It was a rulebook that was only about 15 years old, but it was out the window now.  The technical problems of synching audio...

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Who Will Be the First Openly Gay Star Wars Character?

A stupid question to be certain but one that SJWs are demanding an answer to. And Disney will absolutely provide that answer.  There is zero doubt in my mind that past a certain point, one of the senior executives at Fort Mickey will start demanding it. During the run-up to the Rise of Skywalker, there was a big Stan campaign, #SWRepMatters on Twitter to try and get Finn and Poe out of the closet and into each other’s arms.  Sadly, for the deranged...

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Vampire Rules (Part I)

“I am quite convinced that there is no doubt whatever that the events here described really took place, however unbelievable and incomprehensible they might appear at first sight. And I am further convinced that they must always remain to some extent incomprehensible.” – Bram Stoker I debated calling this piece Vampire Rules Suck.   Nominal good taste won out.  Midnight’s War is the Arkhaven title that currently holds my promiscuous interest in its thrall.  This doesn’t look like the usual Blade rip-off at all.  I’m...

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Star Wars Rumors…I Really Don’t Want to Do This

Oh well, no choice. We've got that stupid fake Star Wars holiday tomorrow. The big rumor is that Gina Carano is in talks to return to the role of Cara Dune. Frankly, I have some fairly major doubts about this one. While it's true that her episode of Running Wild is going to be streamed after all and that Cara Dune action figures are for sale again. Having Gina Carano return to LucasFilm would be a...

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Blogs and Ends: What’s Wrecked Now?

What a fun game Hollyweird has given us with, “What’s Wrecked Now?”  And this time it’s not just limited to Hollyweird, Tokyo is included too. FIRST Bedrock Do you have warm memories of The Flintstones?  You do?  Yeah, Hollywood found about them.  They will soon be eternally tainted by the ever upwardly failing Elizabeth Banks.  Banks didn’t use to be that much of an SJW.  Or at least she was no worse than any of the other THOTs of Tinsel Town.   But that all seemed to change when her...

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The Final Nail in DC Cinematic Coffin

Walter Hamada was clearly hired in a panic.   He was a producer at Warner’s subsidiary New Line Cinema for ten years.  His track record there wasn’t terrible.  That said it wasn’t exceptional either.  He oversaw a string of horror films in the 2010s.  The Conjuring, Conjuring 2, and Annabelle and the like. As you can see from this list Hamada was basically producing the same film over and over again.  Sort of like the Shannon Tweed films in the 1990s that had names like Indecent...

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D+1: We’ve Secured the Beachhead

Arktoons had a spectacular launch yesterday. Better than could be hoped for. I, like a lot of you, was already familiar with Arkhaven's titles. However, this format is so much more convenient than pamphlets. I knew roughly what to expect but I hadn't had a chance to really explore it before now. This is a lot more than I ever thought it would be and I was pretty optimistic about it before the launch. Throne of Bones was...

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Obligatory Oscar Post

The most boring night on television hit an all-time low of 9 million viewers.  In truth, I’m surprised it was that many.  I suspect it’s mostly very old liberals who are still watching it.  The Joe Bidens still left in America are the Oscars' primary audience.  The 18–49-year-old market has collapsed completely, dropping by 64%.  Which will knee-cap the ad money that ABC can charge for this abortion next year.  BTW they are stuck with the Oscars until 2028. Another win for Disney! While I haven’t...

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Hero Archetypes – The Sons of Apollo

The Aspirational Superhero. When I look back on the most challenging and difficult events of my life and do so rationally, I know that Marine Corps Bootcamp should not be anywhere on that list.  I was never in danger of being killed (in any serious way).  I knew where my next meal was coming from.  I had no children to worry about. And my money worries were non-existent because there was no pay until the end of Bootcamp. And still, I instinctively think...

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Gina Carano Has Been Politically Rehabilitated

Or at least I assume she has been. The former Star Wars actress and political exile appears to have been restored to favor by Dear Leader Mickey. Her episode of Running Wild with Bear Grylls has been fished out of the Memory Hole and will soon be streaming on Disney Plus. Perhaps more significantly, Cara Dune action figures are for sale at Walmart again. Disney is making no official announcements because they are in no position to do so. All of the...

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Do Better? We Done That At Arkhaven

Normally, I really couldn't care less about the ComicsGate guys. There is way too many of them that virtue signal to the Left. And EVS is a known backstabber. That said, there are exceptions. I did like Rippa's fairly epic take down of Captain Sammy's rant at the end of Falcon and the Winter Solider. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zop4xi7fx10 UPDATE: The Critical Drinker watched the whole thing for me. I deeply appreciate it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e0B_7es0_g

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China Gives a Thumbs Down to Shang-Chi

As I predicted, they hate it on general principle. For those not in the know, The Global Times (.cn) is China’s international online daily tabloid.  It is published under the auspices of the People’s Daily which is, shall we say, sensitive to the desires of the Communist Party. This is not to say that it doesn’t have a certain degree of journalistic freedom, (at this point arguably a lot more than is in the US media).  At least you know the monster you are dealing with in...

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The Dark Herald Recommends: Resident Alien

Just the right amount of cringe. It’s almost impossible to do. Remember when SyFy Channel was The Sci-Fi Channel and it didn’t suck?  No, I’m not joking there really was a time that that was a thing.  I admit you have to go back a ways to find that time.  Fifteen years is a decent medium for when the Sci-Fi channel was at its peak.  On Friday nights you would have Battlestar Galactica (when it didn’t suck), Doctor Who (when it really didn’t suck), and...

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Arktoons Launches in Seven Days

Today, Arkhaven Comics formally announced the upcoming launch of our new and revolutionary service; Arktoons.  When the platform launches a week from now at Arkhaven.com, it will feature thirty-two original comics from Arkhaven Comics, Dark Legion Comics, Jon Del Arroz’s Rislandia, and the Brazilian comics powerhouse: Superprumo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFa1m1f1DTk This is the biggest moment in comics for decades. It changes how you, the reader, in a word, reads the comic book. Anybody who has tried to use a system like Comixology’s knows how bad it is.  It loads...

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Jeff Kaplan is Out at Blizzard

Not certain what this means. Jeff Kaplan is suddenly leaving the company after nearly twenty years. And he is doing so with no real explanation. I haven't heard about him getting Canceled for a ten year old tweet or accidentally calling a Trans-woman,"dude." Kaplan started off at Blizzard doing lowly QA work for Warcraft III. From there he worked all the way up to lead developer on the super MMO Titan. Which failed and then the...

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Comics Are the Foundation of Civilization.

No seriously, they are.  Comics were how the whole business of moving out of caves, growing crops, and building cities got started.  Without comics we would never have had a means of passing on our personal experiences to our descendants, or keep records, or count to a number that was higher than twenty. They are that important. The Altamira cave paintings are nearly the oldest in the world at 35,000 years of age.  These images tell tales of mighty hunts, dangerous beasts, and...

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RE:View -The Last Starfighter (part 2)

Picking up where we left off. When Alex got into Centauri’s car, he shook hands with a stranger whose face was shaded out. There was a static shock and then the stranger got out just as the door closed in and Alex.  That was a robot named Beta.  He had two purposes in the story.  One a touch of comic relief as he tried to imitate Alex in his daily life and two he gave Catherine Mary Stewart more screen time.  It fleshed out...

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RE:View – The Last Starfighter (Part I)

Take Note: and take heart, Lady Hawke will be my next RE:View. No generation ever had bigger promises made to it than Gen-X.   The world we were supposed to inherit would be beyond imagining.  America would be even greater and more powerful than it had ever been.  The average life expectancy would be 180 years old. We would definitely be getting farther ahead than our parents had gotten in life.  Our first cars would be able to fly.  And a lot of us were expected...

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Shang-Chi Trailer Drop

Here you are. The long awaited trailer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPjz6LoiQQo I still don't have an answer to the question, who the fuck is Shang Chi? Look I do know a little something about comics. I've bought a couple in my life. I had actually run into obscure characters like Defensor and Bouncing Boy. I have not the slightest idea who Shang-Chi is. I could feign knowledge by googling him but I refuse. This is one more of Disney's attempts to get their...

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I’ll Believe It When I See It

That said, there is more than just gossip that Kray-Kray Kay-Kay’s reign of destruction at LucasFilm has ended. Frankly, I’ve heard these rumors so many times that my reflexive reaction is dismissal as more fanboy wishful thinking. However, these rumors have come on the heels of several events in a sequence.   First, the firing and canceling of Gina Carano blew up in Disney and Lucasfilm’s face.   The second event was the stockholder call-in, where instead of getting asked if the Adventurer’s Club will...

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Cheap Thrills: Dead Gentlemen Productions

We are hitting an intriguing popculutre crossroads. The major studios have reached the crest of a wave. Given the size of the budgets for major releases (typically nine figures), they have to try to minimize risks, they do this by data-driven audience feedback which results in a homogenized entertainment product instead of a movie. Blandness is built in. On top of that there is the more important fact that once anything hits the internet it's free....

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No Christian White Trash Allowed, Says Disney

Disney knows what it wants and what it wants isn't you. After a year of doing nothing but studying all the stuff that Twitter and Tumblr users are gaga about, Disney's ABC has boldly announced its plan for failure. Here is a letter that Exec vp for development and content strategy, Simran Sethi sent to all of ABC. Dear friends and colleagues,   As many of you may already know, ABC Entertainment has established a new set of Inclusion Standards that we’re implementing across...

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Release the JJ Cut

I vote no.  Also, don't do it. Please! There is enough chatter on the web about this subject at the moment that I thought I needed to address it. The shill media is pretending that this Astroturf campaign by Bad Reboot is an actual thing.  As far as I can tell it started with a lengthy Reddit post. And it came from the offices of Bad Reboot. J.J. Abrams is first and foremost a politician. That is his primary talent set. His secondary talent...

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First Impressions: Joss Whedon’s The Nevers

B-O-O-O-R-R-R-E-D!!! That’s my first impression in a nutshell.  It’s incredibly boring. The Nevers is a new show on HBOmax that premiered this weekend.  And it’s Joss Whedon’s first since Dollhouse, eleven years ago.*  And this is absolutely a Joss Whedon show.  It’s got it all. Women beating up strong men?  You bet! Sassy comedic dialog? Of course! Vague sexual tension between all the women on the show? Naturally! Good looking women fighting in their underwear? What did you expect from a feminist?! Spidery, cold, creepy feeling as if you now have thin layer of...

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REPOST: The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Enola Holmes

For reasons that will shortly become obvious, I need to get some articles written well in advance of their publication date on this blog. Which means you get to read a review from my old blog today. REPOST: There are two rules if you’re going to be playing in some other writers’ backyard. First, you have to respect the rules of the game they invented. Second, you need to clear the bloody rights. Both of which Enola Holmes failed to do.  The...

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