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Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck – Amazon’s Lord of the Rings

Gary Boechler at Nerdrotic put this surprisingly detailed report together on Amazon's upcoming Woke disaster. There were a few hot takes that I didn't know about. First, the Tolkien Estate did not do this willingly. They got hurt in arbitration with Warner Brothers and part of the settlement is that they had to allow a Lord of the Rings. Although, they did get to maintain a right of absolute veto over everything. And when Amazon was up against...

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Friday Night Open Thread

Post what you like so long as it is pop culture-related. All others will be deleted. ****************************** Legendary Films has had enough of Warner Brothers BS. The new Godzilla series is NOT going to be streamed on HBOmax. It is going to be Apple TV+. Considering how badly Warner wanted this for HBOmax it is a fairly gigantic middle finger to the house that Bugs built. The sad truth of Warner Brothers is that if it weren't for Paramount, they...

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M&Ms Go Woke

Woke candy. It has come to this. Normally, I wouldn't bother to cover something like this here but the M&Ms mascots are a legitimate part of pop culture and thus falls within my purview. Candy is about to get more "inclusive," with the maker of M&M's announcing its famed characters are getting modern makeovers and will have more "nuanced personalities." The green M&M, previously seen in ads posing seductively and strutting her stuff in white go-go boots, will now sport...

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Daniel Cherry Hits the Silk

Apparently, it's mission accomplished for DC Comics brand manager Daniel Cherry III. He is outta here!! The big boss of DC Comics is moving on to other things, walking away from the smoldering wreckage of the brand he flew into the ground at full speed, in his wake. His tenure will be remembered as being unique in comics history. There will be endless debates over who was the best publisher in comics history. But there will be no such...

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Blizzard is Dead – Microsoft to Acquire Activision

That’s it for Blizzard.  Microsoft is buying out Activision/Blizzard for damn near $70 billion.  This isn’t that much of a surprise.  Blizzard is in such bad shape that a buyout was the only way out. (don’t click on the link, it’s from The Verge.) Microsoft is acquiring Activision, the troubled publisher of Call of Duty, World of Warcraft, and Diablo. The deal will value Activision at $68.7 billion, far in excess of the $26 billion Microsoft paid to acquire LinkedIn in 2016. It’s Microsoft’s biggest push into...

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G4 – The Pet Cemetery Version

That really is what it feels like.   G4 came back from the dead but it came back…wrong. Last week, G4’s alternate timeline trans Justin Bieber from 2010 named, Frosk, went off on a prolonged rant on G4’s live stream about sexism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps12AWRbqpE Now according to her rant, either Frosk objects to sexism in general or she feels there isn’t enough of it being directed at her specifically, it’s hard to tell which because she’s clearly an idiot.  But the jaw-dropper was claiming that Olivia...

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Why The Book of Boba Fett Has Lost Half Its Audience

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRjlJWsVaAs It's not just that the outlaw biker gang Boba Fett recruited is riding around on Vespas. It's the fact that they LOOK like the kind of outlaw biker gang that would ride around on Vespas. Wheelie and Chopper Bunch are on their hover scooters chasing around somebody's Dad in his Space Cadillac Fleetwood. And it is just as exciting as it sounds. This is Star Wars 2022. Possibly the dullest chase scene in the history of science fiction....

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Friday Open Thread

Off Topic comments go here. Write about what you want, so long as it is related to pop culture. All other comments will be deleted. Get a Social Galactic membership if you want a soapbox. **************** Who is the worst star pilot in the history of Science fiction? In theory, any landing you walk away from is a good one. And I guarantee you there is no crew chief in the existence of all time and space who would agree with that....

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Another Win for Kathleen Kennedy!!!

Part of this gig involves scanning various showbiz trade media for leads and today I saw something that gave my brain a hiccough.   “Paramount Lands the Rights the to YA Bestseller Children of Blood and Bone.” That put a jingle-jangle in my noodle because I remembered thinking years ago, ‘I have no interest at all in seeing that thing.’  And a quick check says that my disinterest dates from 2019. Most of you, my beloved Darklings, could not care less either.   But for three...

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Another Win for Warner Brothers

I'm still boggling over this one. The marketing geniuses at Warner Brothers social media came up with a real winner. I mean this was genius. https://twitter.com/DCpeacemaker/status/1480652445336358917?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1480652445336358917%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fthatparkplace.com%2Fjohn-cenas-peacemaker-ad-on-twitter-goes-horribly-wrong%2F ... No, this is for real. ... This is a thing they did. ... You knew what was going to happen. I knew what was going to happen. How did any marketing department in 2022 not know what was going to happen? ... https://twitter.com/vasiliosevan/status/1480669315439472640?s=20 UPDATE: Speaking of Twitter The Golden Globes were streamed live last night. The reason it was streamed was that no network...

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The Pillars of Chapek

I didn’t want to write about it but there are too many people treating this like it’s actual news, rather than a distraction from the fact that Coke got jacked up to $5 a bottle at Disney World today. Bob Chapek sent out a companywide memo today outlining his grand strategic vision that will be based on three pillars. I was expecting something like this when Spiderman crossed the $1 billion mark. Disney has had an absolutely brutal year in the...

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Turning Red Pulled From Theaters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqdHP2dWQ9M That is the trailer for Turning Red, and Pixar’s animators are doing exactly that. This is Pixar’s third movie in a row to get pulled from theatrical distribution and dumped on Disney +.   Soul and Luca both got jerked from theaters “due to Covid,” and were sent straight to streaming.   Now the pull and dump on Soul was understandable, there was genuine Corona panic when it was supposed to hit the big screen, (as opposed to the pretend panic we have now).    But...

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Friday Open Thread

https://youtu.be/uiB0Gu2fsok Now in English! Talk about what you want but it must be related to pop culture. All others will be deleted. News and Rumors: CW is getting sold. I suppose this isn't much of a surprise. Background for those with poor memories. UPN was started in the 1990s by Paramount and frankly, it always struggled. Its flagship show was Star Trek Voyager and that pretty much says it all. I will grant it had a few...

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The Sons of Silenus – The Sidekick Hero

The Sidekick hero. Frequently thought of as the lowly sidekick. Yet he is the hero's "shield on shoulder and right-hand man," his monkey wrench in a bad fight when most he needs one. The guy the hero knows will always be there no matter what. The son he never had and more brother than any sibling of his own flesh. Holmes without Watson is unthinkable.  You can’t conceive of the Lone Ranger without Tonto at his side. Jim...

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The Dark Herald Recommends Free Guy

I thought this movie was going to be one overly long played-out joke that was completely spoiled in the trailer. And for the first five minutes, I was right. Then it turned into something a lot better.  I’m as surprised as anyone. Free Guy is a Ryan Reynolds movie, starring Ryan Reynolds as Ryan Reynolds. But you already knew that from the movie poster. He only has one character but he seems to know it and plays that part well. Guy is an NPC...

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The New Doctor Who

Or may as well be. I thought Davies was going to go for a gay Pakistani myself but to each his own. Lydia West isn't confirmed but this is who the Wokeites want for Who. And in brutal honestly, they are the only people still watching it so if you're Russel Davies, a Lefty producer, to begin with, catering to the audience you have instead of the one you want is just good business sense. After all, you don't know...

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Solid Book of Boba Fett Numbers(?)

If you think that numbers that have been tortured until they confess to anything are solid. Well then, yes, they've been solidly tortured at least. From Deadline: The audience for Book of Boba Fett, measured by Samba TV across 46M TV devices with a panel of 3 million Smart TV households who watched at last five minutes, was 13% higher than the 5-day premiere of Disney+/Marvel’s Hawkeye, which was watched by 1.5M HHs from Nov. 24-28. Loki was the first prominent Disney+/Marvel series to drop on a Wednesday....

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DC Comics Is Done Forever

I have no idea what Daniel Cherry was brought in to do at DC but this is what he has done. And no Superman's prison rape was not some Elseworlds thing, it was the main timeline. What needs to be remembered here is that the Discovery is taking over Warner in mid-2022. Which means no one is watching what the Wokeites are doing. Or rather no one cares, because they are all wondering who is going to survive...

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I Think The Book of Boba Fett is in Trouble

This link leads to a google trends search. It compares the number of searches between three different IPs that all had major launches in the past 30 days.* The Witcher, Matrix Resurrections, and The Book of Boba Fett. I must emphasize that this is a very crude tool, for instance, people googling showtimes and ticket prices for the Matrix are going to increase the peak spike of searches past what the Witcher can do in terms of general inquiries. Regardless, it's...

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First Impressions: Silent Sea

This binging culture is getting annoying. I watched the first episode and had a couple of questions.  I can’t really ask them of the internet without finding out how the entire damn series ends. Okay, starting over. Silent Sea is a Korean science fiction series currently on Netflix.  On the basis of one episode, I can now state with perfect conviction it stands head and shoulders above any of the western science fiction series that Netflix has sunk money into. Admittedly, a low bar to...

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First Impressions: The Book of Boba Fett

At first, I thought I was going to really like it. The show opens with Temuera Morrison in a Star Wars healing tank and he is having a series of quick-cut nightmares. After a flashback of Daddy’s helmet rolling in the dirt courtesy of Mace Windu. Then his dreams answer the very reasonable question most Star Wars fans had for years, how did he get out of the Sarlac pit? Although, a better question would be, how the hell did the...

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After Christmas Disney Fails

I love my in-laws. I truly do. They are the sweetest people on Earth. Their only failing (though it is a pronounced one) is that every TV in their house is constantly playing Fox News. And they have a LOT of TVs. They are both in the Silent Generation and Silents are actually worse than Boomers when it comes to their addiction to television. It's definitely a generational thing. Boomers on up constantly watch TV. If they...

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The Dark Herald Recommends Klaus

BUMPED 12-25-2021 I'm a little busy to do anything new this weekend. A redemption story for Christmas? The nerve of some people! This is exactly the kind of excellence that Disney can longer achieve. This was advertised as a Netflix Original. Which is a lie, but I understand why Netflix does this. Calling something a Netflix Original sounds a lot better than, “Dumped on Netflix.” If you can’t get a distribution deal these days, then your best hope is dumping your movie...

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Yes, Virginia…

DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus? VIRGINIA O’HANLON.115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET. VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds,...

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Bob Iger to Return to Disney?

The answer to that question is; no. Or rather; NO. None the less CNBC ran with this ridiculous drivel. It hasn’t even been two years since Bob Chapek took over as Disney’s CEO. But one executive told CNBC there are already internal wagers at Disney about Iger returning. Iger, 70, repeatedly extended his contract after planning to retire in 2015, 2015, and 2018,  before abruptly stepping down in 2020. He’s still Disney’s executive chairman until the end of the year. It’s unclear if Iger...

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Forgotten Cable of the Nineties – Urban Fantasy

When I was a little kid Looney Tunes weren’t even all that old-fashioned, they were just a little behind the power curve.   Well, maybe some of the really early ones were starting to look out of date.  I remember asking my Mom if anvils had been all over the place when she was a kid? She didn’t like the question for reasons I didn’t understand then but certainly do now.  But she answered it honestly, “not really, most blacksmiths had already gotten...

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Once Again, Save Your Off Topic Posts for the Open Thread

The open thread is posted every Friday night. You can post whatever you like there provided it has something to do with pop culture and obviously isn't spam. BUT ALL OTHER OFF-TOPIC COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE. UPDATE: Apparently, this is now this week's open thread. Fine my Darklings. You all know the drill.

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The Sons of Theseus – The Detective Hero Archetype

It’s ironic that Batman’s boyhood hero was Zorro.   The Mark of Zorro was the movie that little Bruce Wayne had talked his parents into taking him to the night of their murder.  The irony is that Zorro is an Outlaw hero whereas Batman is every inch a Detective hero. The Detective hero is an American invention.  During his time editing various magazines, Edgar Allan Poe would publish logic puzzles that were extremely popular with his readers.  This appears to have led Poe to the...

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Is The Acolyte, Greenlit Afterall?

I had predicted that Lesley Headland’s The Acolyte would never see the light of day.  Yet this week there was an announcement of a casting selection for that Disney+ show. Amandla Stenberg who played the ill-fated Rue in the Hunger Games has been signed to be the lead.  Indicating that the project is moving forward…  Maybe… Or maybe not.   Here is the big thing. There has been a major change with the Acolyte that went unremarked upon in trade media. It is now part of...

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