Blog

Obi-Wan KenobiFirst Impressions

Let’s get something straight from the start.  Leia was the special one. In case you are wondering what the Disney feminist bait and switch is this time that’s it.  She was always the super extra special one.  Luke meant nothing.  He didn’t deserve any of the accolades he received because Leia should have had them. Anyway, the first five minutes were good. We get a quick scene where we see Younglings being trained, just as Order 66 kicks off.  Then we cut to the Inquisitors...

Read more...

Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck – Thor: Love and Thunder

The final trailer for Thor: Simp and Blunder dropped. Here it is. Look at it. LOOK AT IT!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go8nTmfrQd8 That. Was. Awful. Thor 4 is what happens if you put a Gamma Male in charge of a barbarian hero.  Kevin Feige’s resentment of the blonde, muscular, popular guy has been on display since Iger stupidly fired Ike Perlmutter and put Kevin Feige in charge of all things Marvel. In Thor, Feige has found the perfect whipping boy for his high school bully frustrations.  Ever since Endgame, Thor has...

Read more...

The Dark Herald Recommends Last Knights

This is from Slant Magazine. I’m only posting the link so you can laugh at the writer’s breathtaking ignorance, unearned arrogance, and hilarious stupidity. “Last Knights is another macho celebration of honor and self-sacrifice, of fighting for “freedom” because someone else told you to, that’s devoid of any acknowledgement(sp) of the inherent irony of that ideology. This film’s neurotic code of conduct is best encapsulated by a character who insists that “the wounds of honor are self-inflicted.” When Bartok (Morgan Freeman),...

Read more...

Heroic Archetypes Posts

This is a link library to my series on comic book heroic archetypes. It will have to do until I get something better up and running. The Sons of Silenus – The Sidekick Heroes The Sons of Theseus – The Detective Heroes The Sons of Jason – The Explorer Heroes The Sons of Apollo – The Aspirational Heroes The Sons of Mercury – The Trickster Heroes The Sons of Hercules - The Barbarian Heroes

Read more...

The Sons of Hercules – The Barbarian Heroes

"Know, oh prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Aryas, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars - Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with its chivalry, Koth that bordered on the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded...

Read more...

Doctor Strange 2 Will Not Break One Billion Dollars

I had predicted that Strange 2 would likely top out between $850 - $950 million. I no longer believe that it will even meet my low-end estimate. Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness fell off a cliff in its third weekend. It pulled in $30 million this weekend. It has now cracked (just barely) the $800 million mark. As its breakeven point was a ludicrous $750 million, it has officially made a profit...probably. ...

Read more...

The Pedomouse Summer Collection For Children

You think Disney learned its lesson? You’re adorable! Pedomouse is going to use his sweaty, hyper-obese weight to spread the gospel of corruption to every child on the planet.  During the month of June. The month named for the Roman goddess of motherhood and family, (how cute). Disney will proudly be selling its LGBTQ rainbow Disney Pride Collection of clothing in all of its Parks and of course online. This savagely overpriced rainbow-themed groomer-friendly clothing is designed for children and fucking...

Read more...

Humpday Trailer Dump – The Death by Snu-Snu Edition

FIRST SHE HULK WANT SNU-SNU!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gim2kprjL50 It’s Hulkey McBeal carrying off the guy that takes the stupidity to the next level.   And when the hell did straight black men become the white men of black men? At least they are being honest about what you will be getting. The writers for this POS are some of the worst Wokites at Disney. NEXT Hey, Alex Kurtzman finally got Star Trek right! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKCILxahpv4 Oops.  Sorry.  My mistake. NEXT Screw Hollywood.  Does anybody have something worth watching? Well yes. Lets take a look at RRR. Ignore...

Read more...

Webtoon Rumors-Conan The Barbarian

Intriguing if true. Here is the part that isn't a rumor. Tencent or to be more accurate Conan Properties International Is recalling their license from Marvel Comics.  My initial reaction was, that’s too bad it was the only and I do mean only Marvel or even mainstream comic I was still reading on the regular. Now I’m sure a few of you were surprised that Marvel wasn’t trying to turn Conan gay or Trans or genderswapped or there was some barbarian lesbian that...

Read more...

Doctor Strange Craters On Its Second Week

Doctor Strange and Multiverse of Madness plunged 67% at the box office.  Strongly indicating there is very little repeat business for this movie. While it is still possible that it will crack the $1 billion mark it is now going to be a long uphill slog to do it. More likely it will leg out between $850 and $950 million. Doctor Strange 2 needs (at a guess) $750 million to break even due to its prolonged delay.  It will do that but there...

Read more...

The Dark Recommends Doctor Strange and Multiverse of Madness

Doctor Strange (2016) wasn’t the biggest or best of the Marvel movies but it certainly wasn’t at the bottom of their all time leader board either.  It says a lot about the current state of Marvel that I automatically that I automatically think of the MCU in the past tense.  As if I’m referring to Republic Pictures or Keystone Studios. The Marvel films from just five years ago are just as gone. It’s as if they left along with Stan lee. Anyway,...

Read more...

The Scarlet Hypocrite

From Bounding Into Comics: "Olsen commented about how she felt like her Civil War costume was one of her least favorite outfits that “needed an upgrade.” In 2018, Olsen stated that she did not like how “revealing” some of her older costumes were. “It would just not be a cleavage corset. I like corsets, but I’d like it to be higher. Everyone has these things that cover them—Tessa Thompson does, Scarlett does. I would like to cover up a bit,” she said. “It’s...

Read more...

The Martian Doorway

There was an intriguing formation photographed by the Curiosity rover. Give it time and it will be up there with the Face on Mars and the Nazca Lines. I found out about this at 2:00 am and quickly pounded this out. My late-night state of mind kind of shows: Reuters News Service, Houston Texas, 5:20 pm CDT. NASA Director, Galeraraack the Banth Devourer: The apparent doorway is most likely just a shear fracture due to some recent temblors. In...

Read more...

Strange New Worlds – No I’m Not Doing This

Somebody else can watch this one for me. And someone did. Soon to be Black Author Gary L.M. Martin No that is not one of my pen names. The guy gets one big thing wrong. He seems to have missed that the Vulcan woman that Spock bangs and then agrees to wed, is in fact T'Pring. Although Spock is such a Gamma in this version, I can't blame T'Pring for trying to kill Spock in the OG series. Let’s face it,...

Read more...

Wanda and Multiverse of Madness First Impressions

I only watched this damn thing because I’ve been skipping too much pop culture of late and I was overdue to take one for the team.  And boy did I ever. Assuming I can steal time to write this any time soon, it’s going to be a Recommends With Reservations. My version of the two-star review.  My criteria for Does Not Recommend is, that there is no reason to see this movie and truthfully there are actually a few reasons to see...

Read more...

Reedy Creek Lawsuit Thrown Out

This. is my shocked face. To the surprise of no one with a brain, the lawsuit filed by Osceola and Orange country "residents," has been chucked by the judge. Background information here. If I get time today, I'll do a post on the Disney earnings call. As a man who both cooks and is a writer of fiction, I can't wait to see this masterpiece of unfounded optimism. UPDATE: Earnings call post is not going to happen tonight. I forgot the...

Read more...

We All Love The Last Jedi Now

No seriously, we’ve had a massive change of heart about it. All of the shill sites are suddenly writing articles about how Star Wars fans have decided that the Last Jedi, is upon second viewing a few years down the road, a masterpiece. A brilliant and bold reimagining of Star Wars lore.  And that we are now all enthralled with how Luke’s character arc to recovering hope thanks to Rey is a wonderous thing that breathes new life into a franchise...

Read more...

Unshocking Kenobi Leaks

Yep. It's a Kathleen Kennedy show. #DoomcockWasWrong. There are now some late in the day leaks about Kenobi. And of course, he gets the Luke Skywalker treatment from Kathleen Kennedy. From That Park Place: "Star Wars will be retconned so that Obi-Wan Kenobi failed to protect Luke Skywalker… and in fact an inquisitor had the opportunity to kill him as a boy. However, out of goodness in her heart, she overcomes the desire to kill him and instead sacrifices...

Read more...

The Reedy Creek Lawsuit

Variety and the Hollywood Reporter are both acting like this is something. It’s not. A suit has been filed by some residents of Orange and Osceola counties.  The suit claims that they will be unfairly ladened with a crushing tax burden when the Reedy Creek Improvement District is dissolved next year.  It’s from the Hollywood Reporter, so no click for them. “In a complaint seeking to block the law filed Tuesday in Florida federal court, residents who live near Disney World argue they and...

Read more...

Ncuti Gatwa Is the New Doctor Who

No, I didn't misspell that. I checked three times. Apparently, he's Scottish. I guess that explains the unspellable name. I don't know a thing about him, other than the BBC obviously still has a say in things. My only prediction for Doctor Who at this time is that Jodie Whitaker's last episode will be the most-watched episode of her entire run. There will be huge watch parties because every Doctor Who fan wants to watch that bitch die! UPDATE: I saw the...

Read more...

It’s Time to Break Up Disney

I am willing to bet a few of the more realistic institutional investors are chewing that one over in the backs of their minds. And if they aren’t, then I guarantee Parks and Experiences executives in Orlando are quietly bringing the idea up over Dole Whips when the mega-moneymen visit Tomorrowland.   Something that is not generally known to the public is that the great Red/Blue divide has very much divided the Walt Disney Company.  Disney Burbank intensely loathes Disney Orlando and Orlando...

Read more...

PC Gaming Sucks – Unless It’s Elden Ring

FIRST Overwatch 2 is now in a closed Beta.  So it might be an actual Beta instead of just the kind of early access that is, ‘don’t blame us if the game breaks all the time it’s in “Beta.”’  Bethesda became legendary for that, and never fixing anything before they got bought up by Microsoft.  The exact same thing is going to keep happening at Bethesda but now everyone will blame Microsoft for it. Anyway Overwatch 2. I am pretty far from impressed. The...

Read more...

I May Have to Steal Time to Watch Dr. Strange

This thing sounds so awful it may be irresistible. We already knew there was going to be a bunch of cameos According to rumors, John Krasinski will be playing Mister Fantastic. Great choice, everyone was excited by it. Wanda kills him. If you are getting a Mister Fantastic at all he won't be white and you know it. The rumor and it sounds believable is that Wanda is killing all of the cameos. Instead of her offing randos Fiege had the brilliant...

Read more...

Book Discussion: Hyperion by Dan Simmons

Saturn is fallen, am I too to fall?Am I to leave this haven of my rest,This cradle of my glory, this soft clime,This calm luxuriance of blissful light,These crystalline pavilions, and pure fanes,Of all my lucent empire? It is leftDeserted, void, nor any haunt of mine.The blaze, the splendour, and the symmetry,I cannot see—but darkness, death and darkness.Even here, into my centre of repose,The shady visions come to domineer,Insult, and blind, and stifle up my pomp.—Fall!—No, by Tellus and...

Read more...

The Batman – The Underperformance

Final numbers are in for The Batman’s theatrical run.  Well, technically it’s still in the theaters but since it has started streaming on HBOmax, let’s face it, the curtain is down. Anyway, the grand total is $368 million domestic, and $760 million worldwide against a budget of god-only-knows.  The official budget was originally supposed to be $150 million but it was in mid-production when Covid hit.  The finance money on movies has very high interest due to the fast payoff time and the...

Read more...

Neal Adams Dead at 80

"Adams' death was confirmed Friday by one of his sons, Josh, on social media. Adams' wife, Marilyn Adams, told The Hollywood Reporter that her husband died in New York from sepsis complications. According to the social media posts, Adams died early Thursday; he was 80." Adams revolutionized comic book art in the 1970s, stressing anatomically correct designs in his work.  He is one of the few artists who can rightfully be mentioned in the same breath as Jack Kirby, Will Eisner, and Gil...

Read more...

Batwoman Canceled…For Real

Even the most glorious reign must end someday. Batwoman has finally and at last been shit-canned. So has Legends of Tomorrow come to that. From the Hollywood Reporter “Just got the sad news that Batwoman will not be seeing [season four],” (Caroline) Dries wrote on Twitter. “I am bummed, but full of gratitude. What an honor to make 51 episodes.” The cancellation comes a month after Batwoman aired its third season (and now series) finale on the network. It also comes as The CW’s owners, Warner...

Read more...

Gerry and Slyvia Andersons’ 20th Century -UFO 

On May 4th, 1970 National Guard units opened fire on rioting students at Kent State University.  Four students were killed.  The country largely approved of the shooting. Any discussion of UFO has to begin with the culture of the crossover year of 1970.  The Youth Rebellion, despite what Boomers like to tell themselves and everyone else, was correctly viewed as an assault on societal values and the dominant culture at the time was determined to put it down.  Everyone hated the hippies and beating...

Read more...

Blogs and Ends The Post Humpday Edition

I’m very pressed for time today so this one is going to be a drive by post FIRST At least he isn't creeping out the secretary anymore. World-famous hologram Hatsune Miko's marriage is in trouble.  If you have kids the right age then you know more about her than you would ever want to in a thousand years. Anyway, yeah, she got married...to a real live human about three years ago. No, I’m not joking.  Because this is the world we live in and it sucks.  But...

Read more...

The Hugos Have Been Hot Garbage For A Long Time

While listening to Larry Correa and Steve Diamond's podcast The Writer Dojo, I was reminded of something that I'd forgotten about completely. Steve Diamond was talking about his first trip to WorldCon. Also, his last. I think he'd been chumped by all of the great things Larry Niven always had to say about how great, amazing, and fantastic WorldCon always was. Possibly it was all those things in the 1970s when Larry was routinely winning Hugos for...

Read more...