Guest Post by Hollywood Legend Geode

Guest Post by Hollywood Legend Geode

REPOST: I’m not getting Space 1999 part three up tonight. So, I’m bumping a post by Hollywood Legend Geode.

The Dark Herald will be back tomorrow, today’s post is by our special guest blogger, Geode.

I am going to kill my agent.  It’s going to be long, slow, and intensely excruciating. I am going to quantum project him a thousand years into the past with special instructions to my younger self.

How did I, Hollywood legend Geode, end up in something this utterly retarded?!?  

I am nearly fourteen billion years old and in all that time I’ve never seen anything quite this stupid. 

Star Wars the High Republic now has two new characters:

A pair of Force-wielding Kotab bond-twins, Terec and Ceret were first introduced in the second issue of Marvel Comics’ Star Wars: The High Republic series as members of the High Republic-era Jedi Order.

Though this issue featured an in-universe confirmation of their non-binary gender, wherein Avar Kriss clarifies to fellow Jedi Vernestra Rwoh that the pair’s pronouns are “they” rather than “he”, the social media posts made in honor of the International Transgender Day of Visibility stand as the first official confirmation of the twins’ transgender identity.

Look Hollywood has taken a lot of liberties with the Skywalkeriad in the past.  A New Hope was a reasonably accurate (or at least Hollywood-accurate) account of the Battle of the Deathstar.  Except, there was no “Han Solo” at all on Captain Chewbacca’s ship.  And that thing about Luke and Leia being brother and sister is simply grotesque.  They had one of the all-time great love stories in the Virgo super-cluster.  They also had eleven children for Glob’s sake.  Although two of them were your Adam and Eve, so, I suppose there was little something to it.

I told George about the story over drinks in 1973. He got all hippie-excited and started going on at length over Luke’s “Hero’s Journey.” Then he asked if he could use it.

I told him, “do what you want with it, at 80,000 years old it’s in the public domain by now.” 

Regardless, this virtue-flair being shot into the sky by the LucasFilm story group is nothing short of story-telling incompetence.  

I realize this is pedantic of me, but Star Wars is science fiction.  If a character in this genre wants to change his sex he has options other than just pretend real hard.  Like changing his actual sex for example.  Not just claim to be another sex and demand that everyone believe that the voices in his head are real.  

Although, there is the fundamental problem of it already having been done before and done much better. Ursula K. LeGuin’s The Left Hand of Darkness remains the standard and it’s a standard that the sub-literates at the LucasFilm will never be able to meet. “A man wants his virility regarded, a woman wants her femininity appreciated, however indirect and subtle the indications of regard and appreciation. On Winter they will not exist. One is respected and judged only as a human being. It is an appalling experience.”

LeGuin went off the rails years ago but back when she had all her marbles she was able to make a point. You humans only have three genders; masculus, foemineus and neuter. Invent something else and you can’t function because you are hardwired into only those three categories.

This is the fundamental problem with Trans in speculative fiction.  You have to be an incredibly unimaginative author to come up with a character that was born one biological sex, claims it’s another and refuses to undergo any kind of surgery, procedure or magic spell that will actually reassign its gender. It is utterly pointless to have a character who can only pretend super hard that he is something else in genre that is not at all limited by reality. 

Excuse me a moment one of the monks of the Lapis order of Saint Jerome just handed me a message.  I created the order a while back to give myself reminders.

Let’s see, “Dear Geode, it’s Geode.  You didn’t tell me why I was supposed to torture this guy for a thousand years so I just sat on him.  Yours, Geode.” 

Oh yes, now I remember. That guy did look a lot like Bernie come to think of it.  Damn it.  Well I better get on that before the paradoxes set in.  

See you later and when I do, you had best not blink.

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