EXCLUSIVE: Arkhaven Blog Interview with Star Wars Celebrity; Geode

EXCLUSIVE: Arkhaven Blog Interview with Star Wars Celebrity; Geode

We are deeply honored to have a Hollywood legend with us today. Geode the Rock.

TDH: Geode, thank you for taking time out your very busy schedule for us today. I can’t say how honored we are to have you here. 

Let’s get right into it.

Your joining Star Wars: The High Republic has been likened to Sir Alec Guinness being cast in the original Star Wars film. You bring that much gravitas to any project you are a part of.  Your career in film, theater, books, TV, (and let’s not forget comics) spans decades. In fact, you pioneered performance art and have been appearing daily on Salisbury Plain in England for the past three thousand years. 

But it was in Westerns that you really found your footing in American films, starting with Human Stuff in 1920, directed by Reeves Eason and starring Harry Carey.  If I am correct, please say nothing at all.

Geode:

TDH: Thank you, I’ll make that correction in my notes.  You began with the old Republic Pictures studio but soon moved to Paramount.  Do you have anything to say in reply to the long-standing charges of nepotism regarding the Paramount logo.

Geode:

TDH: Quite right, it isn’t worth answering.  I only mentioned it at all because it would have looked odd if I didn’t.  As if I was sweeping it under the carpet.

Geode:

TDH: Very gracious of you. While you initially made your mark in Westerns, that didn’t stop you from being in such diverse things as period dramas, comedies, and romances. You worked with the biggest names of the time.  However, a lot of your contemporaries from the silent era couldn’t make the change to the “talkies” Did you find the transition difficult?

Geode:

TDH: Ha! Ha! Ha! (*gasp…wheez…gasp*) Ha! Ha! Ha!  (*wipes eyes*) Dear Readers, if only you could see the Rudolf Valentino mugging Geode is doing for me!   Anyway, while you were able to shift effortlessly from one genre to the next, it was in science fiction that you would find your most devoted fans.  Your first picture in the genre was the 1940 version of 1,000,000 BC starring Victor Mature, followed by Missile to the Moon in…

Geode:

TDH: I was about to bring that up.  You were prominently featured in the Gorn episode of the original Star Trek. Science Fiction was something of a renaissance for you during this time. Over next decades you appeared in things such features as Death Sport, Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared Syn and Planet of the Dinosaurs.

Geode:

TDH: Really?  You actually knew dinosaurs personally and they wouldn’t pay attention to your notes?

Geode:

TDH: Yeah, that’s Corman for you.  You returned to Star Trek for the 2009 movie and again for the sequel, Star Trek into Darkness.  But now you are switching franchises and will be appearing in Star Wars: The High Republic.  The Trekkies will not forgive you for that.  Any comments?

Geode:

TDH:  Yes, best not to say anything.  

But honestly, I don’t think you’ve joined Star Wars at the best time.  It’s been seriously brand damaged.

This has to be of some concern to you due to the disasters that Kathleen Kennedy has inflicted on the franchise.  I mean, Disney bought Star Wars in the first place to appeal to the boys market and what does she do?  Shutdown every project that would have appealed to boys and makes a movie about a brave independent whaman who is instantly the bestest at everything evah without trying. 

If you agree that this was a stupid idea say nothing at all.

Geode:

TDH: And then there was the recent firing of Gina Carano.  The ludicrous amount of corporate infighting that brought that about is now a semi-public embarrassment for Disney at a time when it needs to look focused and strong.  I know that a paycheck is a paycheck but you have signed on with the faction that is actively trying to destroy the entire Star Wars franchise in the name of Wokeness.  Disney appears to be unwilling and uninterested in trying to protect the brand they paid four billion dollars for.  The opportunity costs alone that Disney has missed because of this failed purchase are estimated at $16 billion.  In truth sir, is it not likely that Disney is now so dysfunctional they will likely declare bankruptcy sometime in the next decade? 

If you agree, remain silent.

Geode:

TDH: Thank you for forthrightness, sir. That couldn’t have been an easy thing to say.

One last question and I’ll let you go.  Given the kind of NDAs you had to have signed with Disney are you not concerned about any blowback from the company given some of the things you’ve said today?

Geode: Fuck yes, I’m scared! These are Disney lawyers we’re talking about.

UPDATE: Geode’s schedule has opened up a little and has time for questions from Arkhaven Blog’s readers in the comments below.

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Comments (23)

  • EXALT Reply

    Mr. Geode, what do you have to say on the indiscretions that you’ve been asked to replace Stan Lee as the go-to-cameo of the Marvel Movies?

    March 8, 2021 at 11:18 pm
    • Geode: Reply

      Those are as yet early discussions. So far I’m only under contract with Lucasfilm and I’m honestly not wild about broadening my commitments to Disney.

      March 9, 2021 at 12:30 am
  • furor kek tonicus Reply

    as we all know
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgNOyCnbqg
    .
    thus i would like to know if you prefer to have your void filled with igneous rocks of your own kind or if you’re more of a key party sedimentary rock kind of girl.

    March 9, 2021 at 3:05 am
    • Geode: Reply

      STOP ASSUMING MY GENDER!!!!!

      March 9, 2021 at 2:51 pm
      • furor kek tonicus Reply

        ladies and gentlemen, the first Metamorphic Geode … that’s how you get genderfluid rocks.

        March 9, 2021 at 5:02 pm
  • David Reply

    Mr. Geode, I hope you won’t mind two questions from this long time fan. First, do you think that the Academy Awards will be more or less likely to recognize your accomplishments and honor them with the lifetime achievement award now that they are more completely focused on diversity?

    Secondly, how often do you and Dwayne Johnson each get approached by confused fans who mistake one of you for the other? When fans do mistake you for Dwayne Johnson do you graciously receive them and sign his name or get offended at the mistake?

    March 9, 2021 at 3:14 am
    • Geode: Reply

      In truth, the focus on diversity will greatly benefit me personally, given that I am of mixed heritage being Mica, Feldspar, and Gneiss among other things.

      As for the second, it’s been a source of frequent embarrassment for both of us. Dwayne has finally given up and learned how to draw my rune when asked for autographs.

      March 9, 2021 at 2:59 pm
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Mr. Geode – is there any truth to the rumours you were seen on the grassy knoll at the time President Kennedy was assassinated?

    March 9, 2021 at 6:44 am
    • Geode Reply

      This is a complete fabrication. I was filming an episode of the Outer Limits that day. So, I’ve got pictures and everything. Any resemblance to this knoll you mention is completely coincidental and I swear I will sue if this comes up again. Off the record, you don’t want to go down this rabbit hole kid, Kennedy was nowhere near Dallas when the shooting happened.

      March 9, 2021 at 3:03 pm
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Monsieur Geode, if that is your real name, what do you have to say about the video footage showing you and a few dozen of your brethren flaunting safety standards by lounging around on the surface of the moon without even basic safety gear like a spacesuit?
    How can you be a role model for our children when you live such a risky, carefree life?

    March 9, 2021 at 6:46 am
    • Geode: Reply

      I have many, many names but I personally am perfectly safe when I’m visiting friends on the lunar surface without a “space suit”. If humans prefer not to wear them on the moon, that’s their problem, not mine. Although, it happens more frequently than you would think.

      March 9, 2021 at 3:11 pm
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Mr Geode.
    Why is it that when people are caught between you and a hard place, you offer them no tangible support?
    What kind of a monster are you?

    March 9, 2021 at 6:47 am
    • Geode: Reply

      I don’t help because I’m quantum locked. And I think you know full well what kind of monster I am (*smile as hard as diamond*)

      March 9, 2021 at 3:07 pm
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Mr Geode – you’ve recently been romantically linked to Madonna.
    As a slab of inert matter dating back millions of years, how does it feel to be in a relationship with an older woman?

    March 9, 2021 at 6:50 am
  • Wazdaka Reply

    Mr Geode, you say you wish to limit your work with Disney, but aren’t you auditioning for the next pyrites of the Caribbean film?

    March 9, 2021 at 8:43 pm
    • Geode: Reply

      Hell no, Not since they started talking about casting Amber Hurd.

      March 9, 2021 at 8:59 pm
  • Silent Draco Reply

    Mr. Geode, what would you advise aspiring rocks to prepare for, if they want a film career? We know your advice and influence were invaluable to Mrs. O B Sidian, under contract for “2001”. Kubrik can be – interesting – to work for. Any thoughts on the new colloid-based generation?

    March 10, 2021 at 1:13 am
    • Geode: Reply

      My advice is stay away from it for the next twenty years. I’ve worked with everyone from C.B. DeMille to John Wayne to keeanu Reeves and look what I’ve been reduced to. After I’m done with this Star Wars crap, I’m off to Bollywood.

      March 10, 2021 at 1:48 am
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Mr Geode, in the #metoo era, how likely is it that we are going to hear about some of your past behaviour being unearthed by today’s young starlets?

    March 10, 2021 at 3:27 am
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Mr Geode,
    Is there any truth to the rumours you started your career in Hollywood as a paperweight for Kathleen Kennedy?

    March 10, 2021 at 3:28 am
  • Bonesaw Reply

    Mr Geode,
    Is the speculation true that you are being headhunted to star in the new Rocky Balboa prequel?
    What will you bring to the role? Can we expect a more gritty performance?

    March 10, 2021 at 3:31 am

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