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Amazon’s LOTR Is On A Roll

Revenge! Revenge! The King under the Mountain is dead and where are his kin that dare seek revenge? Girion Lord of Dale is dead, and I have eaten his people like a wolf among sheep, and where are his sons’ sons that dare approach me? I kill where I wish and none dare resist. I laid low the warriors of old and their like is not in the world today. Then I was but young and tender. Now I am...

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The Dark Herald Recommends Netflix The Tinder Swindler with Reservations

There are two kinds of posts I swore I was done making because they brought two different yet very similar kinds of assholes out of the woodwork. (1) Gun posts bring out the Gun Gamma Mall Ninjas, like moths to a flame.(2) And Game posts are a signal flare for the Gun Gammas’ retarded cousins, the MGTOW Omegas. The first generation of MGTOWs were okayish.  They had actually had sex with many and various women on a regular basis and were just done...

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JRR Tolkien Responds To Terrible Screen Adaptation

“I do earnestly hope that in the assignment of actual speeches to the characters they will be represented as I have presented them: in style and sentiment. I should resent perversion of the characters (and do resent it, so far as it appears in this sketch) even more than the spoiling of the plot and scenery.”Hat tip to john Trent at Bounding Into Comics who did the actual leg work on this.“The canons of narrative in any medium cannot...

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Friday Night Open Thread – The What’s Disney Destroying Now Edition

As usual, I hardly know where to start with this subject.Generally, I divide it up by Disney’s divisions, unfortunately, that would mean including something from the movie division and I think I’ve already covered all of Disney’s upcoming disasters.  Ah well, worth a look. (*googlegooglegoogle*)Oh no.I found something and it’s so much worse than I thought it could be.Disney+ is rebooting Chipn’Dale’s Rescue Rangers.Here’s the trailer.Look at it.LOOK AT IT! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK1CuXG7GMQ That.Was.Awful.There was no part of that trailer that didn’t leave me embarrassed and...

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Pineapple Express Does Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” – P.J. O’Rourke“Giving money and a franchise to Seth Rogen is like giving LSD and a shotgun to a seven-year-old.” – The Dark HeraldParamount does it again!Sure, you may have thought that Paramount couldn’t do worse than giving Star Trek to Bad Robot’s retarded little brother Secret Hideout and giving HALO the Last Jedi treatment. But CBS/Viacom shouted, “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!” Picked up the gauntlet...

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Of Course They Took a Honeymoon Cruise

You may now yub-gub the bride.There is no part of the Star Wars Galactica Cruiser that isn’t getting worse.That includes the part of it that doesn’t even exist.The ship’s backstory. I have been made of aware of a truly awful comic book about the Halcyon that Marvel published and had the nerve to charge $5 for it.  Now there is nothing new about either of those two things.However, this thing is nothing but an ad for a Disney World attraction, and Disney...

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Amazon’s Lord of the Rings Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCLoZI-FOYA Big shock, it's not about Lord of the Rings. It couldn't be more obvious what happened. The production company had its own 2022 fantasy story they wanted to tell. Basically, nothing but a rip-off of Game of Thrones.But it is 2022. They have to make it Woke AF because everyone in Hollywood is terrified of being seen as not Woke. At the moment it's an instant career ender especially if you are white. And they...

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Of Mice and NDAs

There are two stories in the current news cycle about men being fired for violating their Non-Disclosure Agreements.If you violate an NDA the penalties will be substantial. Showbiz is especially concerned with this because of its need to control image and spin for various multi-million dollar projects. None of these companies don't want unapproved public statements getting out in the wild because actors are idiotic attention sluts and god only knows what they will say if you...

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Oh Excellent…

I know the Germans have a word for a "face in need of a fist" but do the French?The following was on a post from a few months ago.“There is going to be Beauty and the Beast prequel.  I’ll wait for you to stop laughing…Finished yet?  Good.  It’s going to be a mini-series on Disney +.  It follows the heartwarming adventures of Gaston, LeFou, and LeFou’s Stunning and Brave, Diverse Woman of Color stepsister or half-sister.  The producer is under the bizarre impression that...

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Friday Night Open Thread

You know the drill, the rules, and the consequences.********************************“He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. 'It's a pity I've run out of bullets,' he thought.” ***********************************************************************Okay, maybe there is a LITTLE good news about Lord of the Rings.As I indicated in my last post, there are legal disputes going on between SZC and Warner Brothers. Because Warner is the dumbest studio in Hollywood. Back in the 1970s Saul Zaentz bought up the...

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