Oh Excellent…The Dark Herald
The following was on a post from a few months ago.
“There is going to be Beauty and the Beast prequel. I’ll wait for you to stop laughing…
Finished yet? Good.
It’s going to be a mini-series on Disney +. It follows the heartwarming adventures of Gaston, LeFou, and LeFou’s Stunning and Brave, Diverse Woman of Color stepsister or half-sister. The producer is under the bizarre impression that people care about how Gaston and LeFou became best friends.
No. One. Cares. About. That.
Speaking as a professional writer, prequels are always a shitty idea. At best you are telling people a story they already know. People only thought they wanted to know the story of how Anakin fell to the Dark Side, but the truth was you knew all the major events of that story. The Jedi would be wiped out, Pimp Daddy Palpatine would become emperor, Padme would croak and Yoda would end up in a swamp. But the thing about this show is that there was never any interest at all in GasFou’s origin story. If there was any potential audience engagement in the first place it didn’t revolve around LeFou’s SaBDWoC stepsister being better at everything than Gaston.
Normally the point and purpose of something like this is to humiliate the Alpha Male but that was already taken care of in Beauty and Beast. Emma Watson fulfilled that mission. Also, GASTON DIED. He was a jerk and now he’s dead, we know where his road leads and it goes to Disney Villain Hell. Hades is roasting him on a skewer next to Cruella and Maleficent, occasionally testing for doneness with a fork. Who cares how he got there?
Upside, Emma Watson has not been signed to reprise smug, self-satisfied, uber-feminist Belle. Emma Watson is a garbage-tier actress, who honestly seems to believe she’s as talented as her press releases say she is. The only reason people were under the impression she could act was because around 2005 J.K. Rowling started altering Hermione to more closely resemble Watson. She is only good at playing herself and frankly, she isn’t really all that competent at that. I can think of four actresses off the top of my head that would be better at playing Emma Watson than Emma Watson is.“
I found out that the reason this thing was greenlit in the first place is because the actor who played LeFou, Josh Gad, is a completely toxic SJW. That was it. That was the total reason this stupid project was moving forward because Gad is total Gamma Goblin*
And all of a sudden it’s on indefinite hold. In Hollywood, that means it’s dead.
Apparently, someone asked a question that would never be asked under the Iger regime, “Is there an audience for this thing?”
That was enough to kill it.
*I need to write that chapter. The Gamma Goblins totally creep on Princess Honor while insisting that they are super good feminists and nice guys so she should give them a chance, while constantly sneering at Grod for getting one detail wrong about something trivial. Grod deals with them exactly like you think he will.
UPDATE: In answer to your questions: The title of my zombie book is The Great Divide Game. As for what went wrong with it, my biggest mistake was one of paradigm. I thought of myself as a self-published author when I totally and absolutely needed to think of myself as an Independent Publisher.
A trad-pub author can indulge himself in genre-bending and be rewarded for it. If you try to do that as an Indie your reward will be a seven-figure sales rank in the Kindle Store.
Zombie fans are passionate and they will turn out for a new release but you have to follow the rules of the genre to a T. I subverted too many rules.
The zombies turn someone instantly with a bite. 90% of the Earth’s population turns overnight. Zombie can only be killed by a headshot. You can only have one kind of zombie; undead, or rager. The reason for the zombie apocalypse has to be sciencey without being actual hard science. You know the drill.
Also, I didn’t really write a zombie book. I had written a Political Thriller/Military Horror novel. I was marketing my book to the completely wrong audience.
FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE GAMMA MALE RUSHING DOWN TO THE COMMENTS TO REDIRECT PEOPLE AWAY FROM MY BOOK TO JOHN RINGO’S ZOMBIE SERIES. I realize you have nothing else to bring to the conversation but you still want to be seen as the smartest boy in the room, acktually. But Ringo is a NY Times bestselling trad pub author. He doesn’t need your help in diverting my meager sales to his series and I will BAN YOU WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.