Obi-Wan Kenobi: First ImpressionsThe Dark Herald
Let’s get something straight from the start. Leia was the special one. In case you are wondering what the Disney feminist bait and switch is this time that’s it. She was always the super extra special one. Luke meant nothing. He didn’t deserve any of the accolades he received because Leia should have had them.
Anyway, the first five minutes were good. We get a quick scene where we see Younglings being trained, just as Order 66 kicks off. Then we cut to the Inquisitors arriving on Tatooine ten years later.
The Grand Inquisitor arrives followed by a couple of acolytes. The GI snorts and heads into an open-air tavern. He starts making a little speech about how “you know who we are. You know what we do.” It looks like a competent little scene that is meant to build tension.
And it does do just that. The Grand Inquisitor is walking around like a lion deciding whether he is going to kill just one prey animal or take out the whole herd. So his speech is reaching its apogee and the bartender is about to break when Prison Yard Lesbian Sith decides she’s had enough of her boss’ theatrics and hurls a knife at the barkeep.
The fugitive Jedi they are hunting Forces stops it and the Prison Yard Lesbian Sith points out the guy doing magic Jedi finger waving. She is better at the job than the Grand Inquistor you see. So the Jedi escapes by pulling down an awning that shouldn’t have stopped even the most casual of pursuits but the Inquisitors are clearly flummoxed by a few thin bars and a piece of fabric.
Grand Inquisitor chastises Prison Yard Lesbian Sith for being reckless. All of the rest of the Inquisitors have red and yellow eyes. But not the PYLS. Her eyes are normal. Also, she was miscast. It was obvious that they had decided that race and sex came first and that acting ability was a distant third. No wonder Disney did a lot of prep work about how “racist fans are.” They knew she was a garbage tier actress. And they wanted to prep guys like this…
So they would know they neeeded to talk up her performance.
And at least we get to see something besides the lovely deserts of Tatooine. So that was something. Truthfully the set design is good for a change.
We finally get to see Alderan in a live-action show. It looks like Colorado. The whole planet is Colorado but at least we don’t see any deserts.
I think I’m supposed to find Leia’s antics endearing. It didn’t work. I still wanted to smack the shit out of her.
The big question you probably have is, is it boring?
You bet. It’s a Kathleen Kennedy production to its toenails and it’s Obi-Wan’s turn to get the Jake Skywalker treatment.
This thing is going to be an uphill slog to get through.