Star Wars Galactic Cruise Leaked Video
I wasn’t expecting much, and yet they still managed to disappoint me.
Around ten years ago Mickey the Great and Terrible noticed there were a bunch of Mommy Bloggers who specialized in Disney Parks. They would give out tips and tricks for how to get the most out of your very expensive trip to Disney World/Land. They’d explain in autistic detail how the Fast Pass system worked and how to work that system. They would also review restaurants, resorts, and the various rides.
Disney decided to start a relationship with these bloggers. The bloggers would get early access to various things. These bloggers were delighted to be treated so special by the company they loved. A lot of them moved to Orlando and made Disney Parks blogging their full-time job. So, initially, this paid dividends to both sides.
(*long sad sigh*)
Yeah, it ended like you think it did.
This had been a project headed by lower-level castmembers and it was successful enough that Disney Executives decided they needed to be involved.
The first time that one of these bloggers gave an honest opinion one of these executives didn’t like, they suddenly found out the rules had changed.
If these bloggers didn’t say exactly what Disney wanted them to say, then they would lose early their access and special privileges. These people were in the horrifying position of suddenly finding themselves dependent for their livelihoods on a company that didn’t actually employ them but still had the power of life and death over them. And frequently used that power.
If you were a Disney blogger who lived in Chicago, and Disney called to say, ‘be at EPCOT on Monday at 0800 to take a picture of our new cupcake for this year’s Food and Wine Festival.’ You had to fly to Orlando on your own dime, stay at the hotel on your own dime and then wait in line to take a picture of this damn cupcake. And your fluff piece had better use the keywords Mickey the Great and Terrible wanted used to describe this thing or you wouldn’t be getting a phone call next time. And that meant people would stop reading your blog.
The Star Wars Galactic Cruise held their first live run-throughs this week. And the Disney Bloggers were “invited” to review the Halcyon. The reviews are embargoed until Friday, not that it matters. These bloggers’ reviews are going to say exactly what Mickey the Great and Terrible told them to say.
I don’t blame them. They got caught in a honeytrap.
Anyway, one of them decided to go Kamikaze and leaked an unauthorized clip:
Holy crap, this thing looks cheap! I mean look at those tables, they look like something you’d get from a down-at-the-heels-diner. This is honestly shocking to me; this experience is supposed to be “white glove” level of service and it looks like Tony’s Spaghetti House.
According to WDWPro, the acting needs to be ironed out. A lot of the actors are playing as your fellow passengers. Disney has never really done anything like this before. Anna and Elsa only have to interact with one person for about three minutes. These people are going to have to “on” for hours at a time.
The food is supposed to be on a par with the California Grill at the Contemporary Resort. So, call it AAA Four Diamond. Not as good as Victoria and Alberts but there is no way it could be given the amount of people being served at one time.
The most common description of the Halcyon is, “cramped.” It really feels like a cut-rate cruise ship. Apparently, you can tell that by looking at the cabins’ bathrooms. So they got that right.
So far, I’m not seeing anything that is giving me second thoughts about my predictions of disaster.
D23 magazine published a fictional account of what it will be like to be on the Halcyon’s cruise. And they appear to have hired a thirteen-year-old Wattpad writer to do that for them. It’s worth a listen.
Okay, I’m done here.
