The Star Wars the High Republic

The Star Wars the High Republic

I’ve never seen this much hype for this much nothing.

Star Wars the High Republic has dropped, and we now have a new definition of flash and thunder that signifies jack-shit.

The Story Group at Lucasfilm has been reliably rumored to keep a picture of Luke with a big red X across his face in their writer’s room. Which isn’t a surprise given one of their authors is Justina Ireland, who openly admits her driving force is rage against white people.  She’s a New York Times Best-Selling Author and her specialty is Social Justice Steam Punk.  Star Wars was a natural lateral move her.  

The High Republic is one of Kathleen Kennedy’s pet projects.  Initially it was supposed to have Disney Plus shows and perhaps movies attached but now it has YA books and comic books.  It was rather interesting to watch it’s development because of all of the boasting they did about their creative process. And they really got on top the bragging rock to shout about the collection of literary geniuses that Kathleen Kennedy had assembled, to create this universe. They were very clear that this was going to be shared universe created by Social Progressives.  The intent was obvious, they were going to overwrite Star Wars canon in the same way that Star Trek Discovery rewrote the world of Kirk and Spock.  

It was intriguing to see a cancer metastasize before our eyes.

Behold what the greatest minds in science fiction today can come up with.  Here is their Writer’s Room wish list.

That’s right kiddies.  These traditionally published authors (to include NYT best sellers) have come up with the kind of crap you would find at a Community College freshmen writer’s workshop.

Diversity was the third most important thing this writer’s room pasted on their Fiction category. This is what is most important to their art and it is politics. Admittedly, Diversity is an improvement over “surprise,” I’ll give it that much.

I am not seeing the words, “protagonist, story arc” or the really advanced, “directed antagonism” anywhere.

I am seeing a lot of what looks like, garbage to me.

“Relatable Characters.” It is little short of unbelievable to me that someone felt this needed to be mentioned. I must stress these people are supposed to be authors. All of them have books under their belt. They are going to be making pretty decent money, to turn in professional writing and this is what they are doing to earn it?

“Sweeping Epic” isn’t bad except that was never Star Wars. There were a few big battle scenes here and there, but truth be told it was usually more about intimate stories rather than big ones. Luke’s struggle to learn the ways of force. Anakin’s pain as had to decide between the Order and the woman he loved, (okay Lucas did that one badly but at least it was a story).

“Feelings.” Oh dear, what about colors, smells and tastes?!?!?!

Also, Diversity… Wait a second didn’t we do that one already?  Yes, we did but you can never have too much of it.

But it’s the second category that shrieks Harry Potter fangirls who landed a Star Wars writing gig. The heart emoji is the Deathstar sized hint there. I think this is the list that is to be the reminder about what Star Wars is supposed to be about because they honestly don’t know themselves. 

“So, remember girls and men who identify as girls it may have Wars in the title (and no we can’t change that, I asked), but this show is ‘not Pro-War.’ Now I need some words that just scream Star Wars so let me have a few!”


“Starship battles and lasersword fights!”

“The Force!”

“Oh, good one Briseida! Ten points to Raven Claw.”

“That’s so unfair to us Hufflepuffs! We never win anything!”

So yeah, Star Wars, The High Republic started life as yet another Kathleen Kennedy nightmare of Star Wars canon fuckage.

Here is a sample of the first chapter of the first book.

Make sure you have a drink at hand before you start reading:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

It is the time of The High Republic: a peaceful union of like-minded worlds where all voices are heard, (*provided they don’t say the wrong things*) and governance is achieved through consensus, not coercion or fear (*and what little of that there is, is quite well deserved*). It is a time of ambition, of culture, of inclusion, of Great Works. Visionary Chancellor Lina Soh (*note that “Visionary Chancellor” appears to be her acutal title*) leads the Republic from the elegant cityworld of Coruscant, located near the bright center of the Galactic Core (* the use of random capitalizations indicates that this is High Art*).

But beyond the Core and its many peaceful Colonies, there is the Rim
—Inner, Mid, and finally, at the border of what is known: The Outer Rim. These worlds are filled with opportunity for those brave enough to travel the few well-mapped hyperspace lanes leading to them, though there is danger as well. The Outer Rim is a haven for anyone seeking to escape the laws of the Republic and is filled with predators of every type.

Chancellor Soh has pledged to bring the Outer Rim worlds into the embrace of the Republic through ambitious outreach programs such as the Starlight Beacon
(*I have no idea what the Starlight Beacon outreach program is, other than some thin edge of the socialist wedge. Probably setting up free universities on the galactic rim, for the kids of farmers with a curriculum that emphasizes Gender and Species Studies*). Order and justice are maintained on the galactic frontier by Jedi Knights, guardians of peace who have mastered incredible abilities stemming from a mysterious energy field known as the Force. The Jedi work closely with the Republic and have agreed to establish outposts in the Outer Rim to help any who might require aid.

The Jedi of the frontier can be the only resource for people with nowhere else to turn.Though the outposts operate independently and without direct assistance from the great Jedi temple on Coruscant, they act as an effective deterrent to those who would do evil in the dark.”

So, basically, CHAZ is running the galaxy, everyone is super happy about it and Visionary Chancellor Soh, seems to be the High Republic’s answer to Gretchen Whitmer.

Now, CHAZ wants to take over the last few remaining bastions of freedom on the galaxy’s edge.

The creepiest part is the Jedi being the guys, people on the rim can turn to if Diversity and Inclusion are non-starters on their hard-bitten frontier planet. Apparently, the Jedi are now ANTIFA.

The great dream of The High Republic ran into a stumbling block when Disney was finally forced to notice the brand damage that Kathleen Kennedy was inflicting on a franchis, they had paid four billion and change for.  Because Disney is Woke AF simply firing Kennedy was out due to the fact that she has a vagina.  I’m not joking about that either.  She is the most senior executive at Disney that has one of those, and the rumor is that she will shriek, “that’s why they fired me,” if they dump her.  She had clearly been planning to just ride out her contract then set up a new production company with the loyalists she brought on board at Disney. 

What a difference a plague makes.  Kennedy changed her mind after the Wu-Flu hit town. Her specialty had always been film production of high-end tent poles.  The back-end of those pays pretty damn well, so going back to that world made all kinds of sense.  Except… There is a very good chance that that world is broken and gone forever.  The studios loved the money that tent-poles generated but hated the nine figure budgets.  Forcing everyone to go streaming was a godsend to the studios but not the tentpole producers. Going from a high eight figure pay check as a film producer, to the low seven figures (if lucky) a streaming series show-runner makes had little appeal to Kay-Kay.

She decided to hang on to her job at Lucasfilm come Hell or high water.  

Her plan, what there was of it, was to make a massive hit out of High Republic and the Acolyte.  A huge launch was put together for a line of very low level publishing products.  But it was scheduled for a period just a couple of weeks after the Mandalorian was due to wrap it season finale, so there would be nothing to suck the air out room when it launched.

(chuckles, yeah I know)

Favreau appears to have kept the return of Classic Luke a deep, dark secret from the Story Group at Lucasfilm, (AKA the Revolutionary People’s Tribunal).  And they were left reeling in horror when they saw the fans cheering for white man they had declared to be banished from Star Wars forever.

The season finale of the Mandalorian had done the unthinkable:

It. Had. Generated. Subscriptions.

I am reasonably confident that this hasn’t happened for Disney Plus since… 

Okay, this has never happened for Disney Plus. The higherups at Fort Mickey immediately noticed and in consequence told the FNF faction that they are greenlit to develop a show with Luke Skywalker.   “Oh, and Baby freakin’ Yoda too.  Put the two of them together.  Oh, they already are together!? You ARE the man!”

The Story Group after a childish bout of insisting in public that Luke still ends up a green milk swilling hobo and attacking YouTubers for being happy in a way that they never had been for Reylo, sent the launch went forward.  It was something special.

They dragged out some of the scribblers who are working on the comic books and YA Novels. For a comically clueless livestream.

Claudia Gray: … I read Star Wars books and I understood on one level, but I did not get it on another. Just did not.

Yeah Claudia, we kind of worked that one out, thanks..

But at this presser we got to meet the legends of the High Republic, like:

Lizard Dude from the Empire Strikes Back but now he’s a Jedi.
Wookie who is a Padawan. But no Ewoks (shakes head sadly).
As well as a Girl Jedi with the Mental Illness haircut. 

Twink Jedi.

Fat Black Guy Who I Honestly Thought Was a Woman.

Not to mention Doctor Who.

Not joking about that last one, the writers really want Jodie Whittaker for that role if by some inexplicable horror they do get a live action version.  So yeah, a Jedi who is a middle-aged Yorkshire woman doing a bad David Tennent impersonation.

We also got to meet their nemesis, Plant Monster.  

These writers are very proud of th destructive power of Plant Monster.  Apparently Plant Monster is the greatest threat the Jedi have EVER faced.  

I can take him

Star Wars the High Republic, made for people who hate Star Wars, by people who hate Star Wars.

They were so proud of their work.

And then it got swamped by the Favreau faction again.  Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange, Loki the series) was announced to be writing the Star Wars movie that Kevin Feige is producing.  What little interest there was in comic book series with a stunning 100K in advance orders vanished.  

Favreau made certain that his highest visibility absolute-units sandwiched the launch of the High Republic and it worked.  “The Mega-story has limped out of the gate.”  And now the Kennedy faction is blaming Favreau because, “he has enabled what individuals in Lucasfilm view as toxic demographics.”  Meaning normal people who happen to like Star Wars.

The schism at Lucasfilm that had been murmured quietly about in passing is now a full blown civil war. 

And it’s in the open.

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