Amazon’s LOTR Is On A Roll

Amazon’s LOTR Is On A Roll

Revenge! Revenge! The King under the Mountain is dead and where are his kin that dare seek revenge? Girion Lord of Dale is dead, and I have eaten his people like a wolf among sheep, and where are his sons’ sons that dare approach me? I kill where I wish and none dare resist. I laid low the warriors of old and their like is not in the world today. Then I was but young and tender. Now I am old and strong, strong, strong, Thief in the Shadows! My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!

The cluelessness of Amazon’s marketing department is stunning and brave.

Amazon UK put together a reaction of video for their own teaser trailer of Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.  They gathered a panel of four self-described “Lord of the Rings superfans.”  These “superfans” were a Pakistani, a lesbian with a disability, a black woman, and a gay black man.

They began every sentence with, “like.” And I am positive that there are outtakes where they call ‘Sauron,’ ‘Voldemort.’

This collection of Fyre Festival retards are, of course, influencers.  It won’t surprise you to learn that this is not an in-depth discussion of how the Fëanor’s Kinslaying must have affected Galadriel.  What it is, is a bunch of cognitively impaired people talking about how they can finally love Tolkien because they personally are now represented in the show.  

Funny thing when I was a kid, I didn’t feel particularly represented in Shaft or Fist of Fury but somehow I was able to like them anyway.

But yeah, that was the only thing they talked about.  Diversity, Inclusion, intersectionality, and the black guy wanted to have sex with Sauron. Oh wait, they did squee over how badass Galadriel is now.

Another line that kind of hurt my brain was “Sauron helped make the rings.”   

When the video was at 40,000 views and 10,000 Dislikes, Amazon delisted it.

I was going to put it up here. But I’m not sure how many of you have prescription strength muscle relaxants to deal with the overwhelming cringe.

So here is Gary from Nerdrotic’s take.

Share this post