Let Bond Die, Kill Him If You Have To

Let Bond Die, Kill Him If You Have To

Apparently, Le Chiffre did too good of a job on Bond’s balls.

Here is the new 007 Lyshana Lynch, giggling girlishly over what she and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are bringing to the franchise.

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“Nothing says female depth, like menstruation”. – jlongbone

Never, never let the actors come up with story ideas. This is what you will get.

Good luck with the Woke marketing, because it hasn’t worked for five years. The last film to try it was Charlies Angels. This movie needs to make a billion dollars just to break even and they have only fourteen days to do it.  No Time to Die releases Oct 8th.  And then two weeks later Dune hits the theaters, then Bond gets blown out of the water.

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Comments (17)

  • Joe S.Walker Reply

    The sheer dumbness of these people is revealed in that bit about being “relatable.” Do they think anyone ever watched a James Bond film because the main character was “relatable”?

    September 25, 2021 at 12:32 am
    • Dave W. Reply

      ^this. They think they’re writing for Lifetime Network movies, not Bond.

      September 25, 2021 at 7:58 am
  • jorgen Reply

    That’s disgusting. Never trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn’t die from it.

    September 25, 2021 at 4:04 am
    • Talos Valcoran Reply

      (Sometimes it’s longer, but) yes.

      September 25, 2021 at 8:19 pm
  • Bradford Walker Reply

    It needs two billion US Dollars to break even. It needs at least four to be considered successful. It has two weeks.

    Call Ethan Hunt. This is Mission: Impossible.

    September 25, 2021 at 7:16 am
  • Moonglum Reply

    Nothing exudes Bond class less than gross-out humor. Is she trying to turn it into Bridesmaids? (Although to be fair the Bond film series has often resorted to low-brow slapstick for cheap laughs and puns especially with women’s names e.g. Plenty O’Toole “Named after your father” quips Bond in Diamonds are Forever). Let’s hope Bond doesn’t express gratitude to the female for a bout of bum (as in the opening of Fleabag for those blissfully ignorant of this pale English woman’s previous work).

    September 25, 2021 at 12:54 pm
  • Herman Sheeple Reply

    This is not a true James Bond film, this is an assassination. This film is 3 years old and unreleased for a reason. This “woke” trainwreck is the end of the franchise and no doubt another bait and switch fail. James Bond is and always will be a man and just like with Ghostbusters 2016 this film will be tossed in the sh*t heap of “woke” perversion and cringe. I for one am saving my money and will enjoy watching these fools lose at least $200 million (if they are lucky). How many more billions does Wokewood need to lose before they learn. How many more franchises need to be destroyed.

    September 25, 2021 at 3:03 pm
  • Star Tripper Reply

    During the run of this movie I suggest you find audio versions of the Ian Fleming books. There are many decent versions on YT. Much more fun.

    September 25, 2021 at 3:10 pm
  • Marielle Redclaw Reply

    If they want to do a female action film, just use a different “double-oh”.

    It’s a whole thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/00_Agent

    Opportunity to do some world building and expand the franchise without destroying what came before? Nope. Have to scorch the earth first and alienate everyone.

    Have several different “00” films with different agents. Then an Avengers-like combined movie where they fight a global SPECTRE threat. Do I have to think of everything?

    September 25, 2021 at 3:30 pm
    • Herman Sheeple Reply

      Well said ! I agree 100%. 💯👍

      September 25, 2021 at 3:34 pm
    • Christopher Lopes Reply

      The people involved have no intention of actually creating something entertaining. As awesome as your idea is (and it’s pretty friggin awesome), it fails in the “kill it and wear its skin” department. The whole idea is to destroy the franchise. It’s too toxically male. But yeah, I’d go see those movies.

      September 25, 2021 at 7:57 pm
    • Dave W. Reply

      They don’t want to create new characters. They want to tear down existing ones and wear them as skinsuits to mock us. (where have I heard that before, it sounds familiar for some reason?)

      September 25, 2021 at 10:42 pm
  • Talos Valcoran Reply

    Orbital bombardment – it’s the only way to be sure.

    September 25, 2021 at 8:20 pm
  • Sanders Reply

    As with the “Rise of Marysue” (SW:ROS) I eagerly await all the reviews from the fandom menace, I won’t watch the movie, but I would sit through a 8h EFAP episode dismounting it.

    September 26, 2021 at 1:31 am
  • furor kek tonicus ( you're a sucker if you think Oprah wouldn't feed your daughter to Harvey Weinstein ) Reply

    “… or be on her period

    I thought there might be a scene where she’s coming out of the toilet and you see her throw her tampon in a bin”

    as i’ve said elsewhere, there are a LOT of women who are intensely envious of men. consider Lynch here, she is temperamentally INCAPABLE of identifying with a character who does NOT menstruate.
    she will NEVER consider what a man has to endure or suffer ( ride the Titanic to the bottom, endure the trenches of WW1 or be labeled with a White Feather, etc ) because she’s too emotionally infantile to even consider those extremities. not because she wouldn’t consider them extreme, but because she doesn’t consider males to be ‘real’ or anything more than a toy for her amusement.
    such a woman will never have sympathy for anything that happens to you and will only utilize empathy to the extent that it allows her to manipulate you.
    the scary thing being, that such a woman will also often display these attitudes towards her own children.
    there’s more than one reason you shouldn’t stick it in the crazy.

    September 26, 2021 at 4:01 pm
    • Moonglum Reply

      It could be worse than merely discarding a used tampon. In Fleabag one episode took place largely in a London restaurant with a mixed group of friends and Waller-Bridge walked into the ladies and found her slightly older woman friend who had gone there a short while before and failed to return having a miscarriage in a stall with bloody tissues everywhere. The remains were wrapped up and placed in her handbag and the friend went back to her fellow diners with Waller-Bridge and astonished her by carrying on as if it hadn’t happened.

      I suppose this could be the equivalent of Bond murdering some guy in the loos (like the start of Casino Royale) and casually ordering a drink at the bar right after.

      September 27, 2021 at 3:34 pm
  • furor kek tonicus ( you're a sucker if you think Oprah wouldn't feed your daughter to Harvey Weinstein ) Reply

    also, you might want to shake a tampon but you should never stir with it.

    September 26, 2021 at 4:19 pm

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