If You Were Wondering How They Would Screw Up Dune…

If You Were Wondering How They Would Screw Up Dune…

Wonder no more!

This is a quote from Dune’s director regarding, the second Dune movie which hasn’t been shot yet.

“I can’t wait to shoot the second part of Dune to get [Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya] back together. Knowing that in the next chapter Zendaya will be the protagonist of the story.

There you go. Straight from the mouth of Denis Villeneuve himself.

Freaking Chani is going to be the star of the next movie. How can they do that? You ask in horror and disbelief. Well, there are any number of ways and they are all terrible.

Don’t be surprised if she ends up fighting Feyd and becoming the Kwisatz Haderach. It was after all always supposed to be a woman-child. And that bastard Paul appropriated it. If you are a Tumblrina feminist this sets many wrongs to right.

Please let me be wrong about this.

I will be absolutely delighted to be wrong about this.

Share this post

Comments (17)

  • Dave W. Reply

    I really shouldn’t be surprised by their BS anymore.

    August 16, 2021 at 8:05 pm
  • MrUNIVAC Reply

    I’m confused…does this new movie end at the halfway point or something? Wasn’t the entire second book a power struggle between Chani and Irulan, with the Tleilaxu trying to bribe Paul with a clone after her death?

    August 16, 2021 at 8:24 pm
    • Seeker Reply

      My understanding is that the first book is being adapted as a duology, given the issues encountered with the previous movie adaptation.

      August 16, 2021 at 8:52 pm
      • The Dark Herald Reply

        Correct.

        August 16, 2021 at 9:53 pm
    • Albert Reply

      There’s a rule of thumb that 250 words (one paperback-scale page, approximately) is roughly equal to one minute of film. So I’m not surprised that they’re trying get two movies out of it. I’m just sad that the director is signaling woke.

      That said, every woke flop is money that they lost, so there’s that silver lining.

      August 17, 2021 at 12:20 am
  • Bies Podkrakowski Reply

    Time for Butlerian Jihad nears.

    August 16, 2021 at 8:37 pm
  • Seeker Reply

    If it’s any consolation, this movie will never make back its budget. Dune has to make over 600 million in this environment with super niche subject material. They might get a tv series, but another movie? Only if one of the money men is really intent on screwing with Dune.

    August 16, 2021 at 8:43 pm
    • WOPR Reply

      The Sci-Fi TV series followed the books decently enough. The problem is it looks exceedingly cheap now. A TV series that followed the books could work. An expensive movie was probably doomed from the start. Throwing in woke crud will doom it. They need the fans of the books. Anything that smells of them messing with the story is going to drive them away.

      August 16, 2021 at 11:48 pm
  • MrUNIVAC Reply

    *Dune nerd alert*
    The entire point of the Kwisatz Haderach was that the Bene Gesserit had no access to half of their “other memory” because they were women, and that half was stored in the X chromosome. They figured that if they could successfully breed a man with Bene Gesserit powers (and under Bene Gesserit control), they could get to those memories and thus make themselves all-powerful by cornering the market on knowledge.

    Having Chani be the Kwisatz Haderach would be a giant “**** you” to anyone who read and enjoyed Herbert’s book. Which is exactly why that’s probably what they planned all along.
    */Dune nerd alert*

    August 16, 2021 at 8:46 pm
    • Chris Lopes Reply

      Exactly. The whole point of the book is to make Paul a messiah figure, to (among other things) demonstrate why “messiahs” are a bad thing. Paul unleashes a jihad on the galaxy that not even he can control. Did these folks actually read the book, or did they just watch the original movie and mini&series?

      August 16, 2021 at 9:25 pm
      • Dane Reply

        Do you need to ask?;)

        Spread this like an Obama superspreader event and then laugh at their kvetching when it bombs.

        August 16, 2021 at 11:59 pm
  • Joe S.Walker Reply

    Watching the most recent trailer it looked as if the girl was the lead character already. Not helped by the fact that Timothee Chalamet is a thoroughly wet-looking boy.

    August 17, 2021 at 1:28 am
  • Sanders Reply

    It is becoming more evident by the day that all modern media is pozzed.

    Another dodged bullet… won’t watch this shit, not worth of one’s time.

    August 17, 2021 at 11:34 am
  • Star Tripper Reply

    I have the Sci-Fi Dune series on DVD and enjoy them periodically. Yeah the effects are dated but so what. The story is pretty faithful to the original and that is sufficient. This theatrical attempt sounds awful.

    August 17, 2021 at 12:37 pm
  • Chief_Tuscaloosa Reply

    Chani will bring peace to the galaxy after Paul starts the Jihad. Because “women bring peace”. And all media will declare that anyone who questions that or says this isn’t true to the books isn’t a “true fan” and should go make their own movie. And network of film theaters.

    Honestly, folks, if you wanted to destroy Hollywood from within, WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY than what is happening now?

    If Vox & co. do even a DECENT job with Alt-Hero movie, he could eventually end up a film industry billionaire. And Dark Herald might get to do a film version of “The Great Divide Game”. And some purple-haired intern in the back row will suggest instead of Michigan State, the scientists be placed at Harvard. And she will be summarily fired with no severance, dragged kicking and screaming from the production building for heresy.

    August 17, 2021 at 5:08 pm
  • jorgen b Reply

    Even the classic movie wasn’t that great and the book is too longwinded. There’s just not much to Dune; it was just Muzzie worship in SciFi form from a time before Westerners knew what Muslims are actually like. In any case the way they shoot movies now is so weird that even video of real things looks like cgi, so even if they didn’t screw it up (which is inevitable) it’d still be unwatchable.

    August 19, 2021 at 12:49 am
    • Seeker Reply

      The classic movie had a lot of production problems. The book is too long for a single movie, but Lynch was able to produce something viable with a three hour runtime. Then the producer insisted on cutting the movie down to two hours, which is why they had to rely on excessive monologues and internal thoughts (making Dune one of the best cases for show don’t tell). The Lynch version would still have had some issues, but it would have been more coherent than what we got.

      Also, it should be noted that the Fremen aren’t really Muslims. Their religion is a merged form of Sunni Islam and Zen Buddhism (the philosophy of the Samurai).

      August 19, 2021 at 11:25 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *