DC’s New Slate of Films

DC’s New Slate of Films

2ND UPDATE: I did miss some good news.

JJ Abrams race-swapped Superman and race-swapped John Constantine weren’t mentioned in any capacity. Strongly indicating they have been shitcanned.

Better news. Superman and Lois were listed as an Elseworld title, meaning the only diamond in the CW manure mountain has been saved.

UPDATE: I missed an even bigger red flag. Crystal Henry who ran HBO’s Watchmen and had Doctor Manhatten literally hand his balls to the woman as a symbol of transferring his power to her will run the Peacemaker spinoff Waller. Although, I think this is just a renamed Peacemaker because they needed SEG points.

James Gunn has announced his slate of projects for the new DC cinematic universe.

Honestly, it’s a pretty mixed bag.  I’m not super excited over it but I’m not as depressed as I usually am at the prospect of reviewing MSheU entertainment products from Disney.

So, winning?

The strategy has been formally announced, not that it was a surprise.  Going forward there will be a more unified approach to the DC universe with the same actors playing the same characters with a few deviations like Joker and The Batman clearly labeled as Elseworld. 

The preamble we already knew.  Shazam first.  Followed by The Flash which is going to reset the DC Universe. No strong indication whether or not Ezra Miller will be staying on, which was expected.  Blue Beetle will come after that and finally, Aquaman 2 will bat cleanup.  Since this comes after The Flash it would appear that Jason Momoa still has a job.

These were the preexisting projects.  Next comes the first of James Gunn’s stuff.  To differentiate DC from Marvel it won’t be called “Phases” but “Chapters.” Chapter One is called Gods and Monsters.  Cute, I get the reference.

First up is an animated title. Creature Commandoes.  This was an old Bronze Age title where some classic movie monsters are serving in WWII.  Bride of Frankenstein has been added for feminist inclusivity and the Weasel has been thrown in because James Gunn’s brother needs a paycheck.  

The first big movie is Superman Legacy.  It already has a launch date of July 11, 2025.  Which means they are turning and burning on this one.  It is clearly priority one.

Next, comes Lanterns.  You guessed it, it’s about the Green Lanterns.  This TV show is built around Hal Jordan and Jon Stewart.  No other details available

The second big movie is called The Authority.  This was one of Jim Lee’s Wildstorm imprints back 1990s.  I can see how it appealed to James Gunn since that one was very grim dark. These superheroes went in for “the end justifies the means.”

It looks like everything James Gunn touched is staying.  My shocked face is getting a workout tonight.

Paradise Lost, this one takes place in Wonder Woman’s hometown of Thermescra ((sp) I don’t care) AKA Paradise Island.  It’s some kind of civil war thing. It’s also an origin story. We can assume from this that Gal Gadot is shitcanned.

Now we hit our first real red flag.  The Brave and the Bold. This stars Batman and his son Damian Wayne as Robin.  If you are out of the loop, Grant Morrison came up with this one.  Bruce and Ra’s al Ghul’s daughter Talia had a kid.  She kept Bruce in the dark about his son and raised him to be an assassin. He is the current Robin.  Gunn described this as an introduction to the “Batman Family.”

Batman and son mean we have another middle-aged Batman playing against a young Superman.

This is very modern stuff, and modern is bad in the DC world.  Damian Wayne is the Wesley Crusher of Robins. He’s that fucking annoying.  The fact that Gunn is talking about the Batman Family has my teeth on edge because that means all the Robins are running around Gotham.  I can be open-minded to a degree, if the Christian Tim Drake is still dating Stephanie then I’ll give it a fair shake, but there is a good chance it’s the version where Timmy has a boyfriend.

Booster Gold. For those that don’t know Booster Gold comes from the future and uses advanced tech to provide his superpowers.  He is a lovable loser fo a superhero, and I GUARANTEE you he is going to be played by Chris Pratt.

Supergirl, Woman of Tomorrow.  This is our second red flag and it is a Stalin-era Red Banner during the May Day Parade in Red Square kind of red flag.  It’s a hideous idea in every way available to it.  It was created by Tom King who bluntly has been so instrumental in the destruction of DC Comics I’m half convinced Shonen Jump has him on the payroll. The only thing King ever does is deconstruct superheroes.  Woman of tomorrow premiered last year which tells you damn near everything you need to know about it.

You can stop pretending David Zaslav is the Space Jesus of Hollywood. Identity politics will be a big part of the new DCU.

Finally, Swamp Thing.  He’s describing it as a horror.  Okay, you can do that with Swamp Thing.  I never gave a wet fart about Alan Moore’s take on it even if everyone else drools on at length.

So there you are, the new DC. If you were hoping for the Cartoon Network version of Justice League you can abandon all hope.

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