2022 - Page 26 of 29 - Arkhaven Site

17FebFebruary 17, 2022

Pineapple Express Does Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” – P.J. O’Rourke“Giving money and a franchise to Seth Rogen is like giving LSD and a shotgun to a seven-year-old.” – The Dark HeraldParamount does it again!Sure, you may have thought that Paramount couldn’t do worse than giving Star Trek to Bad Robot’s retarded little brother Secret Hideout and giving HALO the Last Jedi treatment. But CBS/Viacom shouted, “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!” Picked up the gauntlet...

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16FebFebruary 16, 2022

Of Course They Took a Honeymoon Cruise

You may now yub-gub the bride.There is no part of the Star Wars Galactica Cruiser that isn’t getting worse.That includes the part of it that doesn’t even exist.The ship’s backstory. I have been made of aware of a truly awful comic book about the Halcyon that Marvel published and had the nerve to charge $5 for it. Now there is nothing new about either of those two things.However, this thing is nothing but an ad for a Disney World attraction, and Disney...

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15FebFebruary 15, 2022

Amazon’s Lord of the Rings Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCLoZI-FOYA Big shock, it's not about Lord of the Rings. It couldn't be more obvious what happened. The production company had its own 2022 fantasy story they wanted to tell. Basically, nothing but a rip-off of Game of Thrones.But it is 2022. They have to make it Woke AF because everyone in Hollywood is terrified of being seen as not Woke. At the moment it's an instant career ender especially if you are white. And they...

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15FebFebruary 15, 2022

Of Mice and NDAs

There are two stories in the current news cycle about men being fired for violating their Non-Disclosure Agreements.If you violate an NDA the penalties will be substantial. Showbiz is especially concerned with this because of its need to control image and spin for various multi-million dollar projects. None of these companies don't want unapproved public statements getting out in the wild because actors are idiotic attention sluts and god only knows what they will say if you...

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13FebFebruary 13, 2022

Oh Excellent…

I know the Germans have a word for a "face in need of a fist" but do the French?The following was on a post from a few months ago.“There is going to be Beauty and the Beast prequel. I’ll wait for you to stop laughing…Finished yet? Good. It’s going to be a mini-series on Disney +. It follows the heartwarming adventures of Gaston, LeFou, and LeFou’s Stunning and Brave, Diverse Woman of Color stepsister or half-sister. The producer is under the bizarre impression that...

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12FebFebruary 12, 2022

Friday Night Open Thread

You know the drill, the rules, and the consequences.********************************“He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. 'It's a pity I've run out of bullets,' he thought.” ***********************************************************************Okay, maybe there is a LITTLE good news about Lord of the Rings.As I indicated in my last post, there are legal disputes going on between SZC and Warner Brothers. Because Warner is the dumbest studio in Hollywood. Back in the 1970s Saul Zaentz bought up the...

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11FebFebruary 11, 2022

Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck – Amazons Lord of the Rings (part II)

UPDATE: Look Troll Factory, my comments are moderated and yours won't be approved. Even less surprising than Baby Yoda’s choosing the armor is the clear and obvious fact Amazon’s Lord of the Ring, The Rings of Power should have been titled, The Triumph of Sauron. The fair lands of Middle Earth have finally been overrun and despoiled.Christopher Tolkien was the good son of a great man; he steadfastly protected his father’s legacy and works. But he is gone now. The estate now belongs...

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10FebFebruary 10, 2022

Oh No

Disney is reviving Futurama and they are already screwing it up.The voice of Bender is NOT going to be the voice of Bender. John DiMaggio is officially out of the project for some retarded Disney reason.Katy Sagel appears to be signed to play Leela but for crying out loud she's 68. Sure I've loved her work in the past but she is nearly seventy and that is going to show in her voice. Throaty, sexy doesn't...

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09FebFebruary 9, 2022

He Chose the Armor

To the surprise of absolutely none of my readers, Baby Yoda picked the Armor.I'll cover the sobbing here as it occurs.**************This episode was terrible and Disney knew it was going to be terrible.The rumors were that this last episode was being reshot and recut up to last night. Basically, they were trying to "get the zany out."Which is why Han Solo's cameo got memory-holed. **************As bad as this episode was, the true tragedy is this:It is probably the death...

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09FebFebruary 9, 2022

The Dark Herald Recommends – Lost Planet Homicide

This one is a little out of my usual stomping grounds. Lost Planet Homicide by Larry Correia is an audio play exclusive to Audible. I’ve certainly listened to his books on audio, but this piece is purpose-built from the ground up as a play. You may not, as yet, find it in any other format.I believe this is Larry’s very first foray into hard science fiction, (unless there are short stories somewhere that I don’t know about).As the name implies Lost Planet Homicide...

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