What’s Bad Reboot Wrecking Now?

What’s Bad Reboot Wrecking Now?

The answer, of course is, everything it touches.  Although you might want some specifics.

Or you might not as they are likely to prove heartbreaking but forewarned is forearmed. 

You already knew that Superman is in the process of being destroyed by J.J Abrams.  I am reasonably certain that a big part of reason that Abrams is going with black Supes is his standard practice of making sure that all characters are “noticeably 25% different.”  This lets J.J. have a big slice of all the merchandise that comes out one of his productions.  I know why he keeps doing this, he gets paid when Toys R’ Us or whoever buys the toys from Hasbro.  If they sit on the shelves forever, it’s not his problem.  It is a little surprising that since this is exactly what has happened every time, since Star Trek (2009) that Hasbro is still willing to accept the orders. But I suppose that’s their problem.  It is no longer Toys R Us’ problem since they had to shut down their stores after The Rise of Skywalker came out.

I know there are a lot of people who wonder, why do the studios keep hiring him?  

The answer is simple enough, his movies are garbage, but they haven’t bombed yet.  I know that Rise of Skywalker only made half of what The Force Awakens did but that just gave J.J. the argument of, “Hey, Roundhead Ryan made such a complete mess out of the Last Jedi that the next movie shouldn’t have made a dime.  I’m the guy who got it over the $1 billion mark. I’m the hero here.”  And until his movies start bombing, this will continue to work for him.  He only has to keep jumping from one established franchise to the next in order to keep this shell game going.

Next subject:

Did you know there is a Halo TV series currently in production at Paramount?  

Did you know that Secret Hideout is producing it?  

You didn’t know, but now you died inside a little?

I can’t blame you.  I’m really not into Halo at all but I feel so bad for its fans.  This thing is going to be dead on arrival if Alex Kurtzman has anything to do with it at all, and he will.  And he is, it’s official.  So standby for completely Woke Halo.

I do feel your pain because Kurtzman’s next target is…(*deep barrel chested sigh*) Babylon 5.

Yes, they are in talks.

Okay, I’m done here.

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Comments (15)

  • DocLove Reply

    We can only hope that the WB shenanigans that prevented JMS from making a movie will be enough to protect B5 from Secret Hideout.

    And if not, well, they can make it woke, but they can’t make anyone watch…

    March 17, 2021 at 9:19 pm
  • Wazdaka Reply

    Well, more stuff I won’t watch, but will be entertained by the flaming crater. Bab 5 reboot? Why?
    Halo? How can you wokefy that? It will be fun watching them try

    March 17, 2021 at 9:36 pm
    • MrUNIVAC Reply

      It started in Halo 4 with Commander RBF Sarah Palmer, but intensified in 5. Half of each squad is female (fine for Spartan-IIs, less so for Fireteam Osiris), there’s a female Sangheili shipmaster (WTF) and one of the squad members points out how good and cool this is, and the entire plot (which – SPOILER – is about Cortana enslaving all sentient life for its own good because long-lived AIs know better than they do what’s best for them) reads like Woodrow Wilson’s wet dream.

      March 18, 2021 at 5:28 pm
  • Bies Podkrakowski Reply

    They want to desecrate B5?!

    Pox and pustulence.

    March 17, 2021 at 10:08 pm
  • Seeker Reply

    Recent history of Halo:
    Halo 4 – Unnecessarily changed the art style and retconned the forerunners into bad guys. On the plus side, had some good character development for chief and cortana. It’s an ok game, but not as good as what came before. Also marks the first game made by 343.
    Halo 5 – Destroys everything Halo 4 was trying to set up, especially everything about chief’s character development (only the best part of Halo 4, nothing major). To understand the story you have to read a lot of books and comics, most of which manage to be better written than the game itself. They also reuse the same boss fight like 8 times. Near universally hated. Also, your microsoft personal assistant is now named after a manic AI that wants to control humanity… yeah.
    Halo Infinite – Currently stuck in development abyss. Also has worse graphics than Halo 4 by the looks of it, that being a 2012 release for comparison. Live service game. Need one say more?
    Halo TV – Its 2021, why are you watching TV?

    March 17, 2021 at 10:54 pm
    • MrUNIVAC Reply

      You forgot:
      -Halo: The Master Chief Collection. Totally unplayable upon release, and wasn’t completely fixed until the last year or so, Considered a gaming laughingstock on the level of Superman 64 or Sonic 2006 until 343 put in the hard work and turned things around. It’s now probably the best way to play 5 of the 6 games in it (Halo 1 has porked original graphics and the remastered ones are a little too garish for my taste).

      I just beat Halo 5 like a month ago. I consider it the Attack of the Clones of the franchise. There’s some cool stuff in it, but it’s overshadowed by the mountain of terrible stuff. Also, the Warden sucks less if you just think of him as a variety of Hunter. And give all of your team incineration cannons,

      March 18, 2021 at 4:16 am
  • furor kek tonicus Reply

    Halo? How can you wokefy that? It will be fun watching them try
    .
    there’s always room to add more gay niggers to a franchise.

    March 18, 2021 at 1:41 am
    • Dane Reply

      A-yup;)

      March 18, 2021 at 8:14 pm
  • Bonesaw Reply

    I didn’t give a shit when I read Halo was being made into a shitty show.
    Then you gut punched me with a Babylon 5 remake.
    Bastards.
    The only thing that should be remade is the horiffically dated CGI special effects.
    The performances the original cast gave could never be recreated.
    To try is suicide.
    Especially when half the cast are going to be trans crippled eskimos, or whatever combination the wheel of diversity lands on that casting day.

    March 18, 2021 at 2:45 am
  • furor kek tonicus Reply

    Doomcock claims that the upcoming MSheU is going to run a reverse White Plague and kill off practically every male in the Marvel universe.
    .
    + Vision gets genderswapped and becomes Vision+.
    .
    Feige can claim he’s just reskinned a Frank Herbert idea if uncomfortable misandry questions are put too him.
    .
    as for Vision … in universe, he WASN’T CREATED MALE. he’s a fully synthetic construct, often called a “synthezoid”. so reskinning him or recoloring him or resexing him, logically, doesn’t mean anything at all, because he was never anymore of a “he” than a battery powered dildo.
    .
    rhetorically is different, of course.
    .
    it is strange to observe just how extreme the hatred for White Men is, especially from white women that i’m related too. i’ve have been aware that things were quite off ever since the John Bobbitt news broke, though. watching my female relatives laugh uproariously about that news report kind of pulled back the curtain on the whole “sugar and spice and everything nice” fraud.

    March 18, 2021 at 4:30 am
    • RandyJJ Reply

      My memory of the original comic is that a “synthezoid” was a fully functional human being–with the catch being that all his organs were made of synthetic parts. This wiki entry seems to bear that out:

      https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Glossary:Synthezoid

      So yes, Vision was created as “male.”

      March 18, 2021 at 1:12 pm
    • Codex Reply

      The gals hate, hate, hate the gamma boys. Oh they’ll stamp their feet and cry and carry on about wanting the same power as the men, but the men who roll over and give it to them? And leave all that responsibility in their hands? So they can’t raise (or even *have* kids). Oh no.
      .

      Or worse, the men who hang on to that power and misuse it so their ladies are stuck with both responsibility and no authority. Or they’re injured. Or their children are!
      .

      Never forgiven. Or course those gals laugh at bobbitting.
      .

      As one of my favorite female characters (before the author got Woke cooties and borked her) said “I do not want power. I just object to idiots having power over me.”

      March 25, 2021 at 8:39 am
  • MrUNIVAC Reply

    Way to scare me with the Iron Giant graphic at the top. I know now it’s a just a Bad Robot reference, but man, my heart skipped a beat the first time I saw it. That film is fine as-is and needs no remake or reboot. A sequel might be fun though.

    March 18, 2021 at 4:56 pm
    • Bibliotheca Servare Reply

      Yeah, I saw Iron Giant in the header, and was worried I was going to have to hunt down JJ Abrams to stop him from putting his filthy hands on another beloved story…

      March 22, 2021 at 5:08 am
  • Falter Brawley Reply

    I can’t wait to see non-binary Cortana

    March 18, 2021 at 6:58 pm

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