Tears of the Cyberclowns

Tears of the Cyberclowns

The last game I paid full price for on release day was Duke Nukem Forever.

I’ve been gun shy ever since.  

At my age there is no real drive to be on the absolute bleeding edge of popculture. If it’s convenient that’s one thing but there is no longer any feeling of “I just can’t wait for it.”

So, it is with considerable resentment that I am waiting for Cyberpunk 2077 to finish inserting itself into my hard drive.  

I was really hoping that the gaming media was going to be shitting itself over the new Call of Duty game, so I’d have to get that.  But it appears that Activision’s checks cleared, so the gaming media went lighter on it than would justify my rushing out to buy a game that is owned by Woke AF Blizzard.     

They did, however, scream their lungs out over Cyberpunk 2077.  

It’s no secret that gaming journalism is an open cesspit of self-righteous incompetence and Woketardery.  But Cyberpunk 2077 really seems to have set them off for some reason.  I suppose The Last of Us 2 gave them a sense of false entitlement over what level of fawning obsequiousness they were allowed to demand from game devs.  After Neil Cuckman’s opus they couldn’t manage their expectations.  Did you know that Cuckman has been promoted to Co-President of Naughty Dog.  I admit the first week’s sales were good, but he presided over a 70% turnover in staff during its development.  In a sane organization that would raise an eyebrow or two.

Back to Cyberpunk.  Not only did CD Projekt Red produce a game where you couldn’t play as a lesbian trans-poli-sexual bipoc if you felt like it.  They also didn’t send out free copies of the game to gaming journalists which had me laughing my ass off when I heard about it.  Although, given the collapse of online ad revenue, no free copy must have put a crimp in their lunch breaks… Which had me laughing all the more.

Then the reviews started.  Do you remember last month, when the reviewer from lolkotaku was frightened of the PS5 console because it had “too many holes”?  Well, the reviewer from gamespot knocked points off of her review because there was “too much water.” Also, she didn’t actually bother to play the game in any serious way.

Jeremy at the Quartering pointed out this was a limiter on how in-depth a review was likely to be.   And holy crap did the beta orbiters start bombarding him from orbit.  Honestly, Jeremy isn’t really a fellow traveler but he’s been punched by SJWs before so I feel I owe him a small degree of sympathy.  And they went into full Critical Race Cultist hyper-rage over his pointing out that she hadn’t done her job.  Credit where it’s due, he hasn’t apologized.

My own review of Cyberpunk 2077 is going to take a while to finish. So be patient.

However, I felt I shouldn’t post this without a few kind words for gaming journalism.

Here is the Critical Drinker to provide them:


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Comments (2)

  • DJ Reply

    heh — now I know how to be a successful Game Reviewer! Thanks for posting Critical Drinker’s instructions! 😉

    December 11, 2020 at 4:08 am
  • MrUNIVAC Reply

    The problem I have is buying games when they’re new but, life being what it is, not getting around to playing them until years later. My year-long addiction to Destiny from 2015-16 certainly didn’t help in that regard.

    I’ve reacted to increasing wokeness in AAA games by only buying Nintendo products (since other than some light censorship of Japanese weirdness, they don’t do this baizuo crap) and collecting carts and discs for pre-internet systems. I’m still spending about the same every year that I do on games, but it’s going into the pockets of eBay sellers instead of woke companies that hate me.

    Even Nintendo is on my **** list now though, since they’ve decided to port every Wii U game I have already to the Switch instead of making anything new, and every other company is following their lead in porting old stuff that I’ve played already. That may have been fine when I was spending 3 hours on a bus every day, but it’s not when I’ve been forcibly locked in my house for 9 straight months with no end in sight.

    December 13, 2020 at 2:18 pm

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