Uncategorized Archives - Page 116 of 130

13AprApril 13, 2021

First Impressions: Joss Whedon’s The Nevers

B-O-O-O-R-R-R-E-D!!!That’s my first impression in a nutshell. It’s incredibly boring.The Nevers is a new show on HBOmax that premiered this weekend. And it’s Joss Whedon’s first since Dollhouse, eleven years ago.* And this is absolutely a Joss Whedon show. It’s got it all.Women beating up strong men? You bet!Sassy comedic dialog? Of course!Vague sexual tension between all the women on the show? Naturally!Good looking women fighting in their underwear? What did you expect from a feminist?!Spidery, cold, creepy feeling as if you now have thin layer of oily...

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12AprApril 12, 2021

REPOST: The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Enola Holmes

For reasons that will shortly become obvious, I need to get some articles written well in advance of their publication date on this blog. Which means you get to read a review from my old blog today.REPOST:There are two rules if you’re going to be playing in some other writers’ backyard. First, you have to respect the rules of the game they invented. Second, you need to clear the bloody rights. Both of which Enola Holmes failed to do. The Arthur...

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09AprApril 9, 2021

The Wait is Over! We Now Know How Kathleen Kennedy is Going to Screw up Indiana Jones!

That’s right guys! The feminist franchise killer herself Phobe Waller-Bridge is form of the destructor. We weren’t sure how Kray-Kray Kay-Kay was going to fuck-up Indy but we were all knew in our hearts it was going to be something special. In retrospect, we should have seen this one coming. My gal Phoebe has been demolishing every franchise with a milliliter of testosterone in it for years. In her devastating wake, Han Solo was left a bumbling man-child, Lando Calrissian was fucking a toaster. And...

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09AprApril 9, 2021

The Dark Herald’s Top 5 Asteroid Movies

For no reason whatsoever……I have decided, completely out of the blue, to do an Asteroid movie listicle. Planet Impact films are a subgenre of disaster flicks. These stories have been around for a while. Arguably H.G. Welles’ War of the Worlds was the first novel to use it as a device. And while it occasionally showed up as a motif here and there, the genre didn’t really find its footing until the impact theory of dinosaur extinction became popularly known. That was when people first became...

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07AprApril 7, 2021

Blogs and Ends 4/7/21 – The Humpday Dump

We got trailers today. They suck and we got’em. FIRST The Star Trek teasers. I told you they sucked.CBS All Access has officially failed. You can tell that it failed because Paramount has now buckled down, took an unflinching at their many mistakes, then went back to square one. And gave the streaming service a much needed completely, completely……different name.It’s now Paramount Plus. So, as you can see it’s also a very original completely different name. And they are repeating the same mistakes that they had to...

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06AprApril 6, 2021

Disney’s Jungle Cruise Power of Woke (Part Two)

Ah, the Jungle. Greenery so dense you can’t see a foot beyond your eyes. The air is thick, hot, redolent, and sultry, it reeks of wet mold and rotted vegetation. Anything that brushes up against your leg sends a spidery tingle of alarm over your entire body. You don’t need to see the eyes to know that you are being watched, you can feel them all over you. The sounds are…well believe or not they, are exactly what you heard in the old jungle...

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02AprApril 2, 2021

New Gods Film Canceled

The success of the Snyder Cut has come with an unexpected casualty. The cancelation of the New Gods movie for Warner Brothers. They did put out a statement as to why but since it’s from Sarnoff and Hamada you know it has to be bullshit. The real reason New Gods got the axe was office politics. Dark Sied, De Saad, and Granny Goodness were all prominently featured in Zach Snyder’s Justice League, as well the planet Apokolips itself.And Hamada and company have decreed...

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31MarMarch 31, 2021

The Dark Herald Recommends Kong Vs Godzilla

This movie is dumb.Let’s start with that upfront. This movie is as dumb as box of snake-mittens, dumb as crate of glass-hammers, as dumb as a Biden press conference. This movie is that dumb.That said, it’s also a lot of fun. If you are the audience for this film then you already know it. Nobody who wants to see this film should have any illusions about what you are in for, and it is giant monsters beating the hell out of each other. That’s only...

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30MarMarch 30, 2021

Star Wars: The Bad Batch – Trailer Reaction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIRei6ORlPE Well it looks better than the Resistance cartoon they did a while back. I can give it that much.This looks a lot more like Dave Filoni's comfort zone. I suspect that the reason that Filioni was wedded to Favreau for the Mandalorian was so that he could job-shadow the Iron Man director. After all there is only so much time Jon Favreau will be willing to spend on a TV show. As much as he loves...

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30MarMarch 30, 2021

Gay Captain America…Sure, Why Not?

He is also known as Hobo Captain America or at least he should be. He calls himself the "Captain America of the Rails."Marvel is probably going to be very disappointed with this post, since they pretty much invented this guy just to try and piss me off and I just don't care. Oh no! How dare they make a homosexual... Nope, can't do it. Don't care.Here's the setup. Steve Rogers, Bucky, Sam and Walker set out...

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