You Do Not Have the Right to Sue Disney

I am personally certain that Bob Iger secretly longs to be the CEO of Apple and not Disney. I mean, yeah ruling Disney and getting to have movie stars constantly kissing his butt is nice and all but Disney at it’s most powerful (and it certainly isn’t that powerful anymore thanks to Bob) was never able to influence the world like Apple has.

So perhaps it isn’t a surprise that Bob Iger found the above episode of South Park inspirational.

It turns out that by signing up for Disney+ I have theoretically agreed to the following*:

“any dispute between You and Us, Except for Small Claims, is subject to a class action waiver and must be resolved by individual binding arbitration‘.”

Disney’s playing a stunning wild card in its face-off against a man suing over the death of his wife … claiming the guy’s Disney+ subscription prevents him from taking the Mouse House to court.

According to new court documents obtained by TMZ … Disney has asked for the wrongful death lawsuit to be kicked out of court, because the plaintiff, Jeffrey Piccolo, agreed to arbitrate all disputes against Disney when he signed up, back in 2019, for a one-month trial to its streaming service.

What the hell does TV streaming have to do with Piccolo’s wife, Kanokporn Tangsuan, dying in 2023 from a food allergy reaction at Disney World? Disney says the answer’s in their fine print.

Disney’s lawyers are vat grown from genetic samples taken from intestines of Blobfish, universally agreed to be the most disgusting animal on Earth. There is no company more evil than Disney.

*For the legally binding record I dispute and reject this agreement to arbitrate.