Disneyland Nails It’s Pride Flag to the Mast
This post has been made at the urgent and enraged insistence of Eldest Darkspawn.
The Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique has always been a special place for little girls at Disney Parks. If their Dad has money to burn or is vulnerable to enough pleading from wide tearful eyes. The girl’s mother will get in on the act with the “she’s only going to be a little girl once” argument.
When you are already paying $5 for a 20-ouncer of Coke, ludicrously expensive things made with cheap materials seem reasonable. And she is only going to be a little girl ounce. Besides it’s good practice if your daughter is a very girly girl. It’s a “get used to it now” sort of thing. If you’ve raised her right, start saving up for her wedding today.
First, the little girl (the age limit is 3-12) is greeted by her fairy godmother and told how beautiful she looks. Then she picks out whatever dress she wants OR whatever dress her mother wants her to wear depending on whether or not her mother was a frustrated princess herself when she was a little girl.
Dress selected and changed into, the princess meets up with her new fairy godmother, who tells her she looks like she’s ready to go to the royal ball. Said princess now gets her extremely expensive beauty salon makeover, to include a royal sash and tiara. She then gets a big hit of pixie-dust (thus creating another addict lost in a debilitating lifelong addiction) and is told to close her eyes and make a wish. Hopefully she wished she could get her picture taken because that’s whats happening next. If her father paid extra (of damn course) then she gets to have a photo with her pumpkin coach. Then she is hustled out the door to have a magical day. If you go to the Cinderella’s Royal Table afterward (which really costs extra) the actresses playing the various princesses will make a special fuss over her as she is now part of their sisterhood.
Little girls absolutely love it, will stay up all night before their visit, keep the photo on a nightstand for years, and always cherish the memory right up until they see this goddamn thing
Mickey the Franchise Cannibal Rat is now devouring his own. This is exactly why I was laughing my ass off when various content monkeys started to claim with perfect conviction that Disney was getting rid of the Woke. That was impossible. Not given the board of directors it has and not given Bob Iger’s personal inclinations that he is now too old to successfully hide anymore.
When we snarl about Pedo-Mouse this is exactly the kind of shit we are talking about. It’s not just Princess Poppers greeting the kids at the door. Apparently pixie-dust can now change little boys into little princesses if they have the kind of mother who should have been forcibly sterilized before graduating college. What should be a very special day for a little girl is now the Disney Princess Drag Race. Do you have a perfectly normal little girl? Disney can fix that for you! With the right horrors implanted where cherished memories should have been, she’ll be a fat-shaven-headed bisexual activist before she graduates from grade school! That’s the Disney Magic!!!
I did try to get current prices on these packages because the reservations page at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique site is “temporarily unavailable”. Which means there are so many cancelations today it crashed the reservation system.
At this point, Disney is fundamentally incapable of not blowing itself up. It has reached the point where it can not perform its core functions. 7,000 jobs cut, thousands more on the way, and Princess Twinkles is STILL hired as the greeter at one of their longest-standing money vacuums?!
Disney Parks has been a reliable cash cow for the Walt Disney Company but they are starting to make it clear that families with children are better off at Universal Studios. No company is too big to fail.
