After Christmas Disney Fails

After Christmas Disney Fails

I love my in-laws. I truly do.

They are the sweetest people on Earth.

Their only failing (though it is a pronounced one) is that every TV in their house is constantly playing Fox News. And they have a LOT of TVs. They are both in the Silent Generation and Silents are actually worse than Boomers when it comes to their addiction to television. It’s definitely a generational thing. Boomers on up constantly watch TV. If they go into a hotel room the first thing any Boomer and above do is pick up the remote and start flipping channels.

They can’t help themselves. They can’t be changed and I refuse to try. So for 72 hours straight It was almost all Fox, all the time.

I learned two things.

One: Fox has a vital function to the uni-party. It acknowledges the Left’s paradigm as the only valid one. When you do that, you are letting them dictate where the battlefield will be and that always puts you better than halfway to losing any battle. (IE “Extremism in the Military needs to fought.” Accept that paradigm and the question now becomes, how extreme should we be about fighting it? Not Does extremism in the military exist at all? Which it DOESN’T!)

Second: My youngest can still get the remote away from Grandpa. So, I got to see Disney stuff instead of Fox for a few hours, which proves that it really does feel great when you stop hitting your hand with a hammer.

The first fail was the Disney Parks Christmas Parade. That is an annual Christmas Day special that Disney runs on ABC. They round up a bunch of reliable celebrities that are “popular with the kids.” Used to be the Jonas Brothers, now it’s Ariana Grande. Although, this year it was Gwen Stefani (not that it matters if it’s not Blackpink or BTS, tweener girls ain’t really interested anyway).

They always use this special as an annual infomercial for Disney Parks. And they highlight upcoming attractions. Naturally, their new ship the Disney Wish got highlighted. But the other cruise ship the Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser was nowhere to be seen. Fancy that. The biggest attraction in Disney Parks, one that is due to open on March 1 and suddenly has plenty of rack space available.

And it was shadow-banned on the Disney Parks Christmas Parade special

Disney is unquestionably in panic mode over the Hyperion. The cancelations don’t mean rich people have realized that they won’t get value for money because they don’t care about that kind of money. What they don’t want to do, is waste their time on two days of enforced boredom.

Disney has sixty days to come up with a reason why anyone should spend $6000 to play lockdown Star Wars cosplay.

That was one fail.

The other fail was Encanto on Disney Plus.

It was good.

It was really good. Startlingly good. Easily better than Moana. Maybe better than Frozen. Disney may not have made this good of an animated movie since the 1990s.

And in Disney’s 2021 dumpster-fire parade, in all of their releases of all their rubbish they stuffed into the theaters, Encanto was the movie they dumped without ceremony on Disney+. It had no money spent on its marketing at all. It was out of the theaters and dumped on D+ within days before anybody had even heard of it.

And it was one the best-animated films they’d made in years.

Disney literally can’t tell the difference between gold and garbage at this point.

Okay, I’m done here.

UPDATE: Clownfish TV posted this after my article went up. The Star Wars Hotel’s cancelations are so much worse than I thought.

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Comments (14)

  • doug whiddon Reply

    Does this mean, The Dark Herald recommends Encanto?

    December 28, 2021 at 3:31 am
    • The Dark Herald Reply

      If I was going to review it, then I would have to.
      Consequently, I am reluctant to review it.

      December 28, 2021 at 3:49 am
  • Shimshon Reply

    Speaking of the echo chamber of Fox News…

    My mother was born in 1943, so is not a Boomer, and not quite a Silent. Still, she is just like you describe, turning on the TV the moment she enters a room. Instead of Fox, it will be CNN or MSNBC or some other flip side of the false left-right paradigm.

    She came for a visit recently, and the name Ben Shapiro was dropped by my wife or her friend in a conversation. I do not like him, just as I do not like Fox News either. But my wife and her friend really like both.

    Then, my mother uttered the best four word phrase of the English language: “Who is Ben Shapiro?”

    I could not help but laugh out loud for real. Shapiro, for all his vaunted familiarity among the right, is a literal nobody outside his little echo chamber. They all are. He has zero effect on opinion and his sole reason for existence, like that of Fox News and the Faux Right, is to keep people on the reservation. My mother even lives in Boca Raton, not too far from Benny.

    December 28, 2021 at 5:03 am
    • Robert W Reply

      I don’t often laugh at comments, but when I do, I prefer then to be at Benny’s expense. Thank you.

      December 29, 2021 at 10:16 pm
  • Christopher ALopes Reply

    Does anyone lose their job over this cluster frack?

    December 28, 2021 at 9:23 am
  • Cloudbuster Reply

    “Although, this year it was Gwen Stefani ”

    The “kids” that aging whore was popular with are in their 40s now!

    December 28, 2021 at 4:01 pm
  • Chief_Tuscaloosa Reply

    WELCOME TO THE HALCYON! Please pay attention, I am Captain Karen and you’ll be following my instructions during our voyage.

    Item one, we have rumors of Alliance/Resistance spies attempting to gain information on this ship, so before we can let you onboard, we’ll need you to surrender all cameras, cellphones, and recording devices. Please use the lockers to your left.

    Item two, after depositing your device, please move to the right and sign the Galactic Empire standard Non-Disclosure Agreement. You’ll be privy to the galaxy’s most advanced technology, and we need to ensure information related to it doesn’t get out to the Resistance/Alliance/First Order/”whoever our enemy is on this voyage.” If you give a negative review of this ship to others who have not yet sailed with us, the terrorists will have already won!

    Item three, if you’re unwilling to comply with the above Galactic Empire standard protocol, your tickets are null and void. Refunds will only be authorized if approved by the Emperor himself, and this authority will not be delegated. If you still are unwilling to comply with the cellphone confiscation and NDA requirement, please exit through the Halcyon gift ship, and thank you for visiting!

    December 28, 2021 at 8:33 pm
  • ElRojo Reply

    Encanto is hot trash. People are being duped by the song and dance numbers.

    The Heroine is goofy looking and It has a horrible message.

    The Heroines family lives in a magical house that has given them magical powers that they use to help the people in their community. But for some reason the heroine does not get powers. Cue Drama. The house loses its powers because Drama. Part of that Drama is that the heroine has a sister that is supposedly good looking but feels ‘burdened’ by her image of perfection. Barf. There is also a muscle bound girl that is super strong. Barf again.

    Where is Austin Powers when you need him.

    The Drama eventually causes the house to collapse – which after more tearful Drama and confessions the house is then rebuilt with the help of the villagers. And the magic is back.

    Except this time the heroine has convinced her family to not use their powers to help the villagers any more. Because it puts them under stress and it’s so hard. You get doses of: ‘you can’t do everything for everyone’ and ‘you need to have time for yourself’.

    Evidently the lesson here is that great power comes with great responsibility, but responsibility to help other is hard and causes drama. Especially since it might make those without powers feel isolated and left out.

    So it’s just better all around to keep your powers to yourself and not help your community so much.

    Less drama that way.

    December 28, 2021 at 9:23 pm
    • The Dark Herald Reply

      Still better than Fox News.

      December 29, 2021 at 2:01 am
    • Kyle Reply

      Still a better love story than Twilight.

      December 29, 2021 at 3:39 am
  • Skyler the Weird Reply

    Encanto was Ok. People escape the Communist FARC guerrillas via a miracle. That’s nice. Story was every modern Disney princess film. She saves the day. No Prince Charming. Music so so. Written by some Puerto Rican who doesn’t know anything about Columbia.

    December 29, 2021 at 12:20 am
  • furor kek tonicus ( David French is a willing and eager Handmaiden To Evil ) Reply

    i’m confused.
    The other fail was Encanto on Disney Plus.
    It was good.
    It was really good. Startlingly good.

    also Cataline
    If I was going to review it, then I would have to.
    Consequently, I am reluctant to review it.
    Still better than Fox News.

    is it “really good. Startlingly good” or is it something you would only consider watching if the alternative was Fox News?
    cuz the technical term for the latter is “damning with faint praise”.

    December 29, 2021 at 4:32 am
    • Blume Reply

      It is not good. The music is not good and doesn’t flow with the story and yes a story about how terrible it is to not have powers puts a bad taste in my mouth.

      December 29, 2021 at 5:28 pm
  • Wazdaka Reply

    How did you resist the temptation to change the channels at night
    Russia today would have been interesting

    December 29, 2021 at 7:27 am

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