Snow White’s Trailer: A Horror Story

Snow White’s Trailer: A Horror Story

Or at least I assume that’s what it’s going to be. It certainly looks like one. There is precedence for it. They weren’t called Grimm fairy tales for nothing. In an early version of the story, the queen is actually Snow White’s mother and loves her daughter deeply but then she is turned against her own child by the demonic power of a magic mirror that always tells the truth. The Charmed Prince executes her by making her wear red hot cast iron shoes until she “danced herself to death.” If wearing red hot cast iron shoes, a heart attack is kind of your best option for kicking the bucket.

Dwarves were viewed as supernatural beings in Nordic/Germanic mythology, the dwergaz. The Indo-European root word for the term is viciously contested in academic circles, my favorite being dhreugh, which is also the root of the English word “dream.” Although, the word “nightmare” is vastly more appropriate for what Disney has done to its own heritage.

In its first iteration, Disney was going to hire seven little people for the dwarves I’m sure they were going to be diverse and inclusive and whatnot. I’m sure one dwarves was named Transie. Then Peter Dinkledge went on what sounded like a drug-addled diatribe against Disney for hiring actual dwarves for a movie where dwarves are literally in the fucking title. Basically, he wanted to wrap himself in the warm blanket of victimhood. Disney panicked, put seven little people actors out of work, and hired… Words fail me.

Disney was reportedly “disappointed” with the public’s reception of Snow White and the Seven Whatthefucks.

Reshoots started up and something worse than this drug-addled fever dream from the Once Upon a Time writers’ room’s trash can was inflicted on the live-action version of the film that founded the studio.

Those CGI blobs aren’t a blight on Walt Disney’s vision, they are a mockery of God’s creation. They took Walt Disney’s original art and fed it into an AI that wasn’t remotely up to the job.

Gal Gadot is trying but she doesn’t have the chops for a role this iconic.

However, the real problem remains the utterly obnoxious and dislikable Rachel Ziegler. No one is going to be able to get past her initial “promotion” of the film.

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