Star Wars Has Its Timeless Child
If you want a worrying laugh, dig up “Internal Family Systems.” It’s new psychiatric therapy method where the shrink tries to get the patient to “Talk to their inner voices.” The brain docs became quietly concerned when they started passing their notes to each other and discovered that quite of few of their patients said that their inner voices were demons. And they didn’t want to leave.
I bring this up because it seems that quite a few of these people must work in the LucasFilm Writer’s Group. At least if The Acolyte is anything at all to go by.
This is the story they’ve wanted to tell since The Last Jedi. There is no good and no bad only shades of gray. It’s about as far from the world of Luke Skywalker as you can get, which is going to be the goal of any demonic agency. Their abject hatred for a champion of the light is a spinal reflex. You are probably astonished to see that Disney is still pumping hundreds of millions into LucasFilm so it can produce garbage. There’s an easy way to understand it:
No. One. At. Disney. Can. Admit. To. Making. A. Mistake.
That’s it really. Just plug in that data point and rest makes sense. Or if not sense, you can at least follow the chain of decisions. At the end of the day, Disney will always double down until there is a designated scapegoat.
There was only so much they could pin on Chapek. At this point no one can fire Kennedy because she’s been there too long. Too many people higher up at Disney have endorsed decisions she’s made.
This episode was comically bad. It functions as Star Wars answer to the Timeless Child in that it is a major canonical retcon. And given that this is Disney, the retcon will remain in place as part of the lore until Disney collapses and the IPs are auctioned off. Once again because: No. One. At. Disney. Can. Admit. To. Making. A. Mistake.
The episode opens on the Planet of the Space Lesbian Witches. How do I know they are witches because they explicitly state they are witches. The protagonist and antagonist are introduced as a set of young identical twins (girls naturally because there are no men at all on this idyllic world). The Space Lesbians have secret knowledge of the Force. The Force is actually, quite literally, female. The twins have two mothers, one who was their birth mother and the one that knocked her up using the Force. I should point out that the birth mother is from Darth Maul’s race but the twins like black humans. Indicating their birth mother had no genetic input. I’m grateful they couldn’t get away with showing the conception because I have a horrible feeling it would have involved scissoring and force lightning
There is a lecture held on the womanly power of the Force. It’s not a “force” at all as that is far too masculine of a concept, it is in fact a thread that sews the cosmos together and it can be tugged upon to accomplish certain… This is all Wicca stuff, if you’ve ever become acquainted with that neopagan Marxist bullshit of a “religion” you’ll recognize the concepts pretty quickly. Space Lesbian Witches are the true and uncorrupted Force users.
There is a constant motif throughout this episode. “The power of one. The power of two. The power of many.”
What does it mean? Who knows because the writers clearly don’t have a clue.
Skipping ahead, it turns out that the twins are strong with the… Thread… Osha is the good one. Mae is the bad one. I’ll give you a moment to come to grips with the dazzling originality of using twins in Star Wars.
So anyway, the girls are about to have their Ascension Ceremony. This ceremony is a lesbian interpretative dance orgy where they sing about, “The power of one. The power of two. The power of many.”
Four Jedi masters land on the planet of the Space Lesbians. They’ve sensed the girls’ power and have come to take them away for training. Osha wants to be a Jedi, Mae wants to be a space lesbian and apparently the Jedi have the legal right to take away any child so long as the kid says he/she wants magic powers and a laser sword.
Osha decides she wants to be ditch witches and Mae declares… Still having trouble with this one… She won’t let Osha leave. She’s going to kill her! Mae locks her sister in her room and then sets fire to the lesbian fortress. Mae apparently manages to kill everyone except Osha doing this.
So, stupid.
Once again the need for a morality coach makes it’s presence felt at Disney. None of the Jedi are responsible for Mae killing everyone she’s ever known and loved. But since they are the designated bad guys in this series, the Jedi act like they feel completely guilt ridden over her actions and Mae, who let me state once more is the one responsible for the coven’s death and destruction, is the righteous avenger.
There are a lot people saying how last night’s episode killed Star Wars.
My reaction is, “What? Again?”
Star Wars has been dead for a while.
“It does not matter how small the sins are provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one–the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
*At least she’s an incompetent Satanist. The pentagram on her coffee cup, isn’t demonic unless it’s inverted with the top of the star representing spirituality and agape pointed down. Here’s a video if you don’t like thinking.
