2023 - Page 24 of 33 - Arkhaven Site

10AprApril 10, 2023

The Dark Herald Recommends: The Super Mario Brothers Movie

Today gaming journalists display their abject ignorance and complete irrelevance by declaring this game should be embraced by gamers because its politics are mega-good think or that game should be rejected and reviled because the Hivemind has declared it so. The advice gets ignored either way by gamers.Seven years ago, gaming journos displayed their utter cluelessness and general disinterest in their own chosen field of ‘expertise’ by declaiming in lockstep unison that Nintendo was dead and it was only a matter...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

09AprApril 9, 2023

There Wasn’t A Mask to Drop But Still…

Disney just dropped the mask. Well, there wasn't a mask to drop but even by Mickey the Great and Terrible's basement dwelling standards, this is bad.Pauline follows the eponymous protagonist, an 18-year-old who accidentally becomes pregnant – from a one-night stand. With school stress, the climate crisis and the downfall of society weighing heavily on her mind, something she doesn’t need at all right now is catching feelings, especially not for her one-night stand Lukas. Pauline is penned by Sebastian Colley...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

08AprApril 8, 2023

Well This Looks Quite Promising

As of this writing this sitting at $150 million.I think I'll be taking this one this weekend.Discuss on Social Galactic

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

07AprApril 7, 2023

Yeah It’s Gonna Suck: Star Wars X

I warned you! I told you it was in the works. And now it’s official, Ma-Rey Sue Palpatine-Skywalker will be returning in Star Wars X (Currently Untitled).Daisy Ridley will naturally star. Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy is still signed to direct, her best known work is Ms. Marvel. Damon Lindeloff (for once) showed the brains that God gave a pickle and bailed.Announced at Star Wars Celebration of course. There is also a teaser for Ashoka: Enjoy, or don’t. I couldn’t care less. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnzNZ0Mdx4I The Force is now completely female. With the exception...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

06AprApril 6, 2023

The Dark Herald Recommends Shin Godzilla

When I was pre-adolescent my sources of income were cruising parking lots for dropped change, returning pop bottles, and occasionally cutting the teeth out of sharks that had drowned in the nets for the creepy guy who made necklaces out of them for tourists. That was more than enough for an eight-pack of Coke and a big bag of Fritos. Come three o'clock on Saturday afternoon and the Godzilla movie would start on UHF, let me tell you, I was SET!!!In...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

05AprApril 5, 2023

She’s Everything… He’s just Ken

That was a quote from this season's writers.The Mandalorian just got the Jake Skywalker treatment in his own show. This show is so unwatchable at this point, it really is a struggle to get through. Dave Filoni is the most over-estimated writer in the history of television. He did fine writing kids shows but he simply can't step up and write genuinely mature themes for grownups. Also, he seems to have a waifu thing going with...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

04AprApril 4, 2023

Big Bob’s Big Mistake

UPDATE: A criminal investigation has been opened on Disney and the former members of the Reedy Creek Improvement District.Hoo boy! This was bad.I briefly touched on this last night in an update on my last post. This will be more involved.First, I need to give you some background info, and it’s extensive. Skip the italicized part if you're already familiar with it:******In 1957 Walt Disney was brokering the rescue of two Los Angles institutions that were in deep trouble, the Chouinard Art...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

03AprApril 3, 2023

Iger’s Annual Investor Meeting is a Dumpster Fire

Wow, this is going to take me some digging to get through.Usually, Disney's annual investor call is a completely stage-managed nothing burger. Basically, it's just a public relations dog and pony show for the Mom and Pop shareholders. This year Disney showed some little film that was made at Disney World. There was a startling number of white people in it, veterans got a nice shout-out, it was that kind of thing and it's always that kind of...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

31MarMarch 31, 2023

This is NOT The Way

Oww. Well, the Neilson Ratings for the first week of the Mandalorian have been dropped and they make the bad news we all knew was coming official.The Mandalorian has definetly crashed in the ratings from Season 21NetflixOuter Banks302,2142NetflixMurdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal31,0843HBO MaxThe Last Of Us81,0114Netflix / Paramount+NCIS3398265Disney+The Mandalorian178236NetflixWe Have A Ghost (2023)18077NetflixCocomelon217658NetflixPerfect Match127449Disney+Bluey11473610HBO MaxSouth Park309687Position, Platform, Title, Episodes, Minutes Watched (in millions)FIFTH PLACE! In its premiere week, the Mandalorian landed in fifth place, well behind HBO's The Last...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

30MarMarch 30, 2023

Disney Gives Florida the Finger Again

Disney lives in its own world, but it thinks it’s the whole world. It has handled the disbanding of the Reedy Creek improvement district in the most Disney way possible.By declaring with total conviction that it didn’t happen.On the very last day of the Reedy Creek Improvement District’s existence on Earth, they gave all of their powers to do, planning approval, building code oversight, construction permitting, and well pretty much everything including building a nuclear power plant if they feel like...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

Yearly Archives - 2023