2023 - Page 19 of 34 - Arkhaven Site

01JunJune 1, 2023

Is Elemental Pixar’s Last Film?

The house that Lasseter built will shortly be launching Elemental. A romance between a flame elemental (kickass female) and a water elemental (hopeless simp). Wonderful. The cast is one long checklist and it was directed by the same guy who helmed The Good Dinosaur. Peter Sohn being one of the few creative lights at Pixar that Jon Lasseter didn’t see fit to tuck under his arm and run off to Skydance with. Elemental has a budget of $200 million and a release date of June...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

31MayMay 31, 2023

OverWatch’s new Seasonal Event

Overwatch hasn’t created a new seasonal event for five years.After the first year Chinese New Year, Overwatch Anniversary, Summer Games, Halloween, and Unspecified Winter Holiday were it.But there is a new one now!!!This is sad and hilarious at the same time. Whenever Blizzard has a huge public dick up with OVERWATCH one of the characters turns gay. Completely canceling the PVE section of the game, which as a reminder was the reason they rebooted Overwatch in the first place,...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

31MayMay 31, 2023

Disneyland Nails It’s Pride Flag to the Mast

This post has been made at the urgent and enraged insistence of Eldest Darkspawn. The Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique has always been a special place for little girls at Disney Parks. If their Dad has money to burn or is vulnerable to enough pleading from wide tearful eyes. The girl's mother will get in on the act with the "she's only going to be a little girl once" argument.When you are already paying $5 for a 20-ouncer of Coke, ludicrously...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

30MayMay 30, 2023

FLASH: CBR IMPLODES!!!

Once the most reliable site on the internet for comic book news, Comic Book Resources has become a Woke parody of the Big Two of comic books.For values of Big anyway.But today Valnet fired CBR’s editor-in-chief Adam Swiderski along with TWO more senior executives in “major structural changes” amidst “culture and performance issues.”Translation, the venture capital dried up, ad revenue is in the basement and CBR’s management was pretending it was still 2014.Developing...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

30MayMay 30, 2023

HARDDRIVEBY: WARHAMMER 40,000 BOLTGUN

In all honesty, this game was not made for me. I am not a Warhammer 40,000 fan. When I was first made aware of it, I thought it looked really interesting. Then I saw how much money it seemed to suck out of its fans.“Even in debt, I still serve.”I didn’t have that kind of money to burn back then.Consequently, when it comes to Warhammer 40K I remain a Flirt.The reason I’m starting with this caveat is that I am not going...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

29MayMay 29, 2023

The Little Mermaid Craters

This is a disaster for Disney.Not that you would know that from the level of spin going on in the trade media. "BOFFO BOX OFFICE BONANZA FOR THE LITTLE MERMAID THAT COULD! $163 MILLION ON ITS OPENING WEEKEND!!!If that was just the domestic total then, awesome, boffo indeed. But it's the grand total. Just for reference, the godawful CGI Lion King remake hauled in $269 million on its opening weekend and that was in 2019 pre-Bidenflation bucks. In today...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

26MayMay 26, 2023

The Prisoner Under a Glass – Why Did You Resign?

If whatever we wanted to say is not already contained within the episodes of the series then I failed in the production of them and any amount of chit-chat now will not make good that omission. – Patrick McGoohanGoddamn Sigma Males. – The Dark HeraldEvery episode of The Prisoner begins the same way. A thundercloud is crackling dangerously overhead. A Lotus 7 comes roaring down a highway, we see the driver dressed in black and he is clearly in a rage about something. He roars through...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

25MayMay 25, 2023

Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Miss us yet, Indy?The Cannes film festival is considered a very big deal. By people who don't know anything about it. Really it's just the European film market's trade show. That said, it is important from a commercial perspective. Enough so, that a bunch of well-known actors will dig out their passports and head over to France. C-list celebs of carious stripes will fly out to Cannes too. Has-beens who are desperately hoping a European...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

24MayMay 24, 2023

The Need for Poetry Like Draco Alchemicus

American Poetry.There was a time, believe it or not, that it was central to American life. People would attend, in fact, pay good money for, professional readings. In parlors across the United States, people would get together and discuss poems. Every school child would be taught the basics of poetry and be required to construct poems. In the same way that everyone today knows the basics of Star Wars and Harry Potter, all Americans of a bygone era knew a list of famous poems...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

22MayMay 22, 2023

Ray Stevenson Dead at 58

Today keeps sucking.Actor Ray Stevenson, who starred as Titus Pullo in the HBO series Rome has died at the age of 58.Stevenson was a familiar and chiseled face in genre films and TV shows. He was more of a character actor than a headliner although he did play Frank Castle in the rather underrated Punisher Warzone. He was also one of Thor's viking bros in the Marvel movies. He was recently in RRR as the evil British governor....

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

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