Yearly Archives - 2023

Is Barbie So Woke It’s Based? 

That is what I keep hearing from younger guys. Okay, obvious baseline statement: Barbie. Was. Not. Made. For. Me. Also, the sky is blue, water is wet, and poop smells like poop. That doesn’t change the fact that by any objective standard Barbie is a substandard story and is heavy handed politically. Starting with little girls apishly smashing their baby dolls to pursue the influencer lifestyle of the very first influencer, Barbie (We don’t talk about Lilli, no, no, NO!). We...

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Why Is the Market Excited by Disney All of a Sudden? 

ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!!!Yesterday, Disney’s stock price almost broke the $90 barrier, it might still be sometime today. That will give Bob Iger one thing he can claim which is all sunshine and puppies at the earnings call on August 8th. It’s pretty much the only thing, but at the end of the day, it’s the only thing stockholders care about. So what happened? It’s not like Haunted Mansion blew it out of the water. The parks are doing...

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Comrade Mickey’s Funtime Struggle Session Workbook

I know a lot of you have to have wondered, how on Earth did Mickey the Great and Terrible destroy his own phanes and temples so thoroughly and so completely?Well, he had a lot of help. Bob Chapek deserves a lot more credit for this disaster than he ever gets. There are still a bunch of people convinced he was a good man trying his best. Yet the worst of the damage done to Disney was under...

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The Dark Herald Recommends: The Haunted Mansion 

Have you ever walked into an old place and just knew it was wrong somehow? Everybody around you feels the same way, don’t they? Whether it’s a shuttered prison, an unnaturally still place in a dark forest, or a cold basement in a large old house. Of course, you have felt that way.  Because that place has a loci. A spirit to the place, and even the most sciencey types will get out of that spot quickly. The concept of a...

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Arkhaven Spotlight: Paper Doll Veronika

Welcome to the Arktoons Spotlight, a regular feature at the Arkhaven Blog. The Spotlight is where I take a look at one title from the amazing world of Arkhaven’s webtoons.If you aren’t familiar with Arktoons, this is meant for you.  I am the Dark Herald; I do the blogging here at Arkhaven.com.  The blog is mostly pop culture news, reviews, and opinion, in short, the usual.And you aren’t here for the blog.  You’re here for the webtoons.  Arkhaven is different from other webtoons publishers.  While...

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The Dark Herald Recommends: Good Omens

UPDATE: There is, I am very worried to say, a sequel to Good Omens that starts tomorrow. They used the entire book in the first series. There was no material OG material that supports a sequel. This is concerning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GljnUA6Ll0 The following discussion took place in Cataline’s car back in late 1980 something.Buddy (holding up a cassette tape): Dude, I didn’t know you were a Queen fan. Cataline: Dude, I’m not. Buddy: Then where did this come from? Cataline: I have...

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LucasFilm Rumors 

I am very reluctant to report on rumors of Kathleen Kennedy’s impending demise as CEO of LucasFilm for the same reason everybody else it. That rumor has been sailing around since The Last Jedi and that franchise trainwreck is coming up in its seventh anniversary this year. Every time some new Star Wars-related disaster strikes, the rumor mill gins up again. No one could believe her contract would be extended in 2021 but the expiration date came and went with no sign...

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The Odyssey of Medium Bob: The Blip

BUMPED 7/26/2023Have you ever thought about how hideously disastrous it would be to undo the Thanos Snap?In this week's episode, we see “Geraldine” (it’s actually Monica Rambeau) being reverse-dusted back into existence in a hospital room.  She looks around in confusion and then heads out into a corridor that is suddenly packed with frantic people running about aimlessly in shock and confusion.  One man says, “I have to call my wife!”And that is when it hit me.   Just how bad undoing The Snap...

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Ms. Marvel Lives!!!

Yeah, shocking I know. A Marvel character that was just killed off will be resurrected before her $250 million (allegedly) budget movie comes out. It’s not why this is happening that’s important, that is pretty much self-evident, there’s a movie coming out that Marvel is hoping won’t bomb. So I’ll take a quick look at how her raise-dead spell was performed. Marvel Studios is finally after five years trying to incorporate some of the characters they picked up from the Fox buyout....

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The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Barbie 

Barbie started life as a call girl. No, I’m not joking about that. Meet Bild Lilli: Her Bild Magazine comic strip was rather worryingly popular in post-war West Germany. Enough so that she inspired a rather evil looking collectable doll.  Now in fairness to the Germans, the doll was meant as a gag-gift. However, Mattel executive Ruth Handler saw something more in her than that. How boys play with their action figures is a lot different than how girls play with their...

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