May 2023 - Page 2 of 4 - Arkhaven Site

22MayMay 22, 2023

Moana Fired From Moana

Auli'i Cravalho, who voiced Moana in the animated movie has been fired from the live-action remake, for not being Polynesian enough. Nevermind, that she was the headliner in the animated blockbuster version, speaks Hawaiian, did the Polynesian dialog versions. And has a name that requires phonetic spelling if you are to have a prayer of getting it right. She ain't Hawaiian enough, she's half Puerto Rican, so she's out. The reason Moana is getting a remake this fast is that it is...

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19MayMay 19, 2023

Arkhaven Spotlight: Hypergamouse

After a well deserved and truthfully unavoidable break, Lacey Fairchild's hit creation is back. On the off chance you are not familiar with Arktoons perpetually chart topping (and now available in Mandarin) webtoon. Hypergamouse is a slice of life comedy built around the oldest Game in the world. "The first and only comic series about Game and the Socio-Sexual Hierarchy! Because if you can't figure out why you don't have a date and no one is interested in you, you're...

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18MayMay 18, 2023

The Wreck of the Halcyon

REPOST: May 18, 2023. FLASH! The Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser is now officially the most expensive failure in the history of Disney Parks. The last voyage of the bad ship Halcyon will be on Feb 28, of 2024. THEY ARE SHUTTING IT DOWN. Defying my prediction that they would try retheming it for the more popular Mandalorian before "temporarily closing it for renovations," and then quietly tearing it down a few years later. However, given Mando's...

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18MayMay 18, 2023

The Death of Ms. Marvel… For Now

The Twitter Stans are freaking out over the death of Kamala Khan. Because Twitter Stans are retards. There is simply no way in Hell that current year Ms. Marvel would be allowed to die and stay dead. She has repeatedly been given new comics and they are always canceled. She doesn't even have her own title at the moment but she is still be used all the time. You know damn good and well that a strong Muslim girl...

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17MayMay 17, 2023

Blogs and Ends: Babylon 5 Lives?

Babylon 5 is getting a reboot. GET BACK IN HERE!!! Look I understand, that was my reaction too but this time it appears to be greenlit. Arktoons creator Jon Del Arroz covers this one. https://youtu.be/WBOXeOHR_f0 It isn't hard to make a case for Babylon 5 being the most influential science fiction show of the 1990s. Babylon 5 was something unique. It was clearly a product of what had come before it, Star Trek and Star Wars as well as 1980s geekdom in general. The science wasn’t rock hard...

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16MayMay 16, 2023

Chris Pratt Remains Bulletproof

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume III has bucked the trend of every Marvel film since Avengers Endgame and had a respectable second weekend. It was only down 50% from its first weekend as opposed to the more standard 65% of the rest of the MCUs films. Antman 3 did much worse than that, but it was the worst Marvel film of all time. This isn’t a huge surprise despite how many people seemed shocked by this turn of events. While I wasn’t big on...

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15MayMay 15, 2023

Disney+ 2019 – 2024

We come to bury Disney+ not to praise it, which you all knew was never going to happen anyway. Bob Iger has decided to face reality in the most face-saving way possible. By rolling Disney+ into Hulu. Okay, here’s some quick background. A few years ago, a DVD-by-mail service called Netflix decided to start streaming content. This infuriated the studios because the DVD Bubble economy finally popped at about the same time. They equated one as being the cause of the other and it really wasn’t. The...

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14MayMay 14, 2023

Twenty-nine Times, Plus One

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayedIn the maritime sailors' cathedralThe church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine timesFor each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald Yesterday the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral's church bell rang out thirty times. One more for Gordon Lightfoot 1938-2023

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12MayMay 12, 2023

Arkhaven Spotlight: Hammer of Freedom 2

It's really kind of pathetic, the sorts of arguments you get from the gun control crowd. It's not just that they're fundamentally brainless, it's that they have never once changed. I've been running into the same arguments since I was in college in the 1980s. It's a little hard to pick one of their arguments and say that's the dumbest one but for (dear lord) better than thirty years the most reliably dim is declaring that gun control will...

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11MayMay 11, 2023

Why Do Companies Go Woke?

The funniest part was watching him try to drink it without barfing The answer is simple enough, there is money in it for them. But how they get that money is more complicated, and so is the reason they need it. Let’s say you are the CEO of HugeCo Consolidated, a Fortune 500 company. HugeCo is worth $5 billion. Which might seem like a lot of money but that is only because it is. But here’s the thing, that number is kind of made up bullshit. HugeCo...

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Monthly Archives - May 2023