Blogs and Ends: The Return of Dare DevilThe Dark Herald
Charlie Cox’s Daredevil was the best Marvel series ever.*
Sadly it was on Netflix, so three seasons were it. And Netflix always puts a rider on every show they buy that no one can use this property for three years after they cancel it. This usually means that done on Netflix, means done for good. However, Disney was willing to outwait the lockout period to get their properties back.
And this is what they did with him.
There was a rumor going around that Jon Bernthal wasn’t willing to sign unless he had guarantees that the Punisher wouldn’t be ruined. He remains unsigned. Sadly, Charlie Cox didn’t do that for his character.
She-Hulk is a show for Drunk Wine Aunts BY Drunk Wine Aunts. These showrunners are the kind of pathetic divorcees I was making fun of on my first blog seven years ago. These Karens are the kind of women who try to convince everyone they are living their best lives as divorced Tinderellas, yet they don’t really go to sleep at night, so much as pass out.
She-Hulk has done the whole hit-it-and-forget-it thing throughout the whole series, (including giving it up for one guy who shared his fries with her, that was all it took) and surprisingly even the showrunners can’t make her seem happy about her pathetic life.
So, she meets Daredevil. He finally convinces her she should try her hand at being a superhero, they do a mission together, and then fuck.
This is perfectly in keeping with Matt Murdock’s character. I nodded my head in approval when I first heard Ben Affleck was going to be playing Daredevil all those years ago. Given his horndog ways, it was a good fit for the character.
So, after She-Hulk has her way with Daredevil, you see him doing the Walk of Shame. You know that thing women do? He’s walking away barefoot with his boots in his hands. Okay, just to state the incredibly obvious, the only reason women are carrying their shoes rather than walking in them the next morning is because they are in high heels. Daredevil doesn’t wear heels
The. Joke. Does. Not. Translate.
Second, men feel no regrets about casual sex. Seeing Daredevil like this is up there with James Bond doing a Walk of Shame. The only difference between how Daredevil and Bond would handle the next morning is that Matt Murdock would have both hands in the air, accepting high-fives from other men as he walks down the street.
This is crap!
The Dark Herald Recommends Werewolf by Night
Are you surprised?
I know I am. But there it is, I’m actually going to be giving a good review to a Marvel TV show that appeared on Disney +. The world seems strange to me.
I can only assume that Werewolf by Night slipped through the cracks when Feige and Alonso were busy wrecking other things.
The show is a one-off (so far) comedy. It may well have been inspired by one of my favorite episodes of Supernatural: Monster Movie (S4, E5).
It starts off with the credits in Universal Films Monster Movie font from the 1930s. The music is a gothic call back to the first cycle of those classic monster film soundtracks with stentorian bow strings announcing their fanfare in all flat notes. 95% of the show is in black and white. This all does its job of setting the tone and the tone is maintained throughout the production. This isn’t Young Frankenstein, there are stakes here, you know the protagonists can get hurt, and you don’t want that (for a change).
The plot is that the greatest monster hunter in the world, Ulysses Bloodstone has died. And the second greatest monster hunters have gathered for both a sendoff and a contest. Whoever wins the contest gets the Bloodstone, which is the reason he was the best monster hunter in the world and it is only thing in this show that is in blood red color (at least until the last scene).
One of the hunters is Elsa Bloodstone, estranged daughter of Ulysses. Surprisingly, she manages to have her own adventure without running the male hero of the show into the ground.
The title character is a monster hunter named Jack Russel and even if you aren’t familiar with the character you’ve already figured out what his deal is.
The hunters have all gathered to hunt an incredibly powerful monster (it’s Man-Thing by the way). The winner gets the Bloodstone.
Since I don’t want to give away the plot twists, I’ll just say that it wasn’t really Woke. They made a decent show and I enjoyed it. It was a comedy adventure with macabre themes that delivered on what it was supposed to without annoying the hell out of me or giving me thoughts of suicide. It’s a little over an hour long.
The Dark Herald Recommends with Confidence.
I am honestly shocked that Sandman isn’t getting a second series. To be clear, I didn’t think Netflix was going to give it more than two seasons, but I was expecting those two seasons. I’m not broken up over this, I really don’t care about this Woke fest getting the axe. But it did seem to have everything that Netflix wants in a production. It was super-Woke, female-dominant, and had a small but loyal pre-existing audience. So its cancelation is kind of a head-scratcher.
Or maybe it isn’t.
You know what Sandman didn’t have? Advertiser appeal. There is almost none to be found in that show unless your sponsorship involves man-bun gel.
More intriguing is the fact that there still isn’t an official cancelation announcement for Cobra Kai yet. Frankly, that show looked like a much better bet for being sent to TV heaven. Yes, it’s Netflix’s number 2 show but what does that mean to Netflix other than everyone on it wants to get paid more each season? Nothing. That is what it means because their income is built entirely around subscriptions. Cobra Kai gets a few people back with each new season, but they cancel as soon as it’s over. And it doesn’t bring in new subs anymore. The only reason it got five seasons is because YouTube paid for the first three. They streamed two and then scrapped YouTube Red right before it was time to launch the third season. Netflix got that third season at a bargain basement price.
Bottom line: Canceling Cobra Kai is the smart thing to do given Netflix’s business plan.
UNLESS they start selling sponsorships. It makes all kinds of sense to renew Cobra Kai then. The show is well established, the audience is big, and it has a general appeal across large swaths of age groups and sexes, Gen-Xers and Zoomers both love it.
This is another indication that Netflix is headed for an Ad-based system.
Okay, I’m done here.
*Unless you’re a Punisher fan.