Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck – Thor: Love and Thunder

The final trailer for Thor: Simp and Blunder dropped.

Here it is.

Look at it.

LOOK AT IT!!!

That. Was. Awful.

Thor 4 is what happens if you put a Gamma Male in charge of a barbarian hero.  Kevin Feige’s resentment of the blonde, muscular, popular guy has been on display since Iger stupidly fired Ike Perlmutter and put Kevin Feige in charge of all things Marvel.

In Thor, Feige has found the perfect whipping boy for his high school bully frustrations. 

Ever since Endgame, Thor has become a parody of what the successful Gamma has convinced himself his high school bully turned into later in life.  When half of his people and his own brother were killed by Thanos, Thor should have become a ferociously protective leader.  Insular and determined to keep his people strong no matter what.  He would have taken his Aesir somewhere cold and forbidding. Then subjected them to a Spartan life to keep them stoic and warlike.

Instead, Thor turned into King Beer Gut.  Just looking at him you knew he had a rusted-out Charger in back that he was “restoring.”  

And in Taika Waititi, Feige has found a kindred spirit.   

This appears to be a love story written by people who have no clue as to how to write a love story.  Conflict is central to any romance, if you don’t believe that you haven’t been forced to sit through as many versions of Pride and Prejudice as I have.*

Simping is NOT conflict.  And Thor is simping hard for Jane Foster.  In the trailer, he has kept track of the year, day, and hour that they broke up.  Women do like that sort of thing.  In a man that they dumped, and will NEVER get back together with.  Jane is clearly in the driver’s seat all the way here.

I have no idea who that is supposed to appeal to because women damn well don’t want Simp Thor in a Thor movie.  The only bone, women were thrown was the scene where a chained Chris Hemsworth got his clothes blown off.  They like that one.

But Jane Foster does nothing for women and never has.  A big part of that was the terrible casting choice of Natalie Portman in the first Thor movie.  The sad part is they almost had the right actress.  Kat Dennings would have been much better if they had gone with the poor but smart girl with flawed looks and a great sense of humor that somehow lands the handsome rich man of drastically higher social status.

But Feige went with Portman, who is at best an indifferent actress in every way available to her, but she is definitely connected in Hollywood.  The Club likes her, which is why she was brought back.  Kevin is still desperate to get his The Club membership card.

And this is clearly and obviously a romance as written by Gamma Males.

Yeah, it’s gonna suck.

*You can stop with those remakes guys.  If Colin Firth isn’t Mister Darcy, women aren’t interested.