Yeah It’s Gonna Suck: M&M

Yeah It’s Gonna Suck: M&M

No, I’m not going after the candy again.  

You get a twofer today.  Ms. Marvel & Moonknight.  Both of them look like they are going to meet the same exacting standards we have come to expect from Marvel.

I’ll start with Ms. Marvel.  Here’s her awful trailer.

Of the two this one is going to be really bad.

They appear to be trying to make it look comic-bookie which always go over badly if it’s not coming from a place of love and no one loves this character apart from Sana Amanat. 

As you can see Kamala Khan suffers from the literally Hitler micro-aggression of having her name mispronounced.  I am a white straight male of English descent, and my name is mispronounced 50% of the time.  It’s not a micro-aggression it’s just micro annoying but I politely correct the person and get on with my life instead of nailing myself to cross over it.

“Brown girls from Jersey never save the world.” This is the real issue here.  The brown girl in the white girl world. Unless they are in Aishwarya Rai’s league, sub-continent girls are convinced that they are fundamentally less attractive than any girl with blond hair and blue eyes.  This is why these girls, who are from extremely conservative backgrounds, are some of the worst SJWs on the planet. 

These are Kamala Khan’s fake problems.  Her real problem is that she is a terrible character. Her back story is “little boy wants to be a fireman when he grows up.  He grows up.  And becomes a fireman.”

That is all there is to her backstory.  She wants to be a superhero to gain fame and attention.  She becomes a superhero and gets fame and attention.

The sad part is, that this actually workable if you use it as starting point.  Kamala Khan gains superpowers and then fame and attention.  However, this leads to a moral failure that has a severe cost for her family.  She vows she will never have that kind of failure again and it drives her to become a real, more selfless hero.   It’s basically Peter Parker’s story but it still works.

Of course, having a non-white girl commit a moral failure is unthinkable these days, so it’s safer for everyone if she just stays a Mary Sue.  She is literally not allowed to become a better character because of Wokeism.  

Also, her new superpower sucks.  Her old power stunk too but at least you knew what it was.  You could at least define it.  But now Ms. Marvel has MSheU  Female Power powers.  You know what I mean, she just has the power to have Power.  The new MSheU heroines have the same kind of ill-defined energy field that lets them do whatever.  Scarlett Witch started the trend, although it kind of worked for her character.  Then Captain Marvel had the same kind of power to have Power and her entire story arch was learning to use more of it.  Monica Rambeau had the same power at the end of WandaVision, as well as the power of moral relativism if she felt sad for her monstrous friend. 

The Marvel Female Power power is proof that Kevin Feige was never into comics at all.  He’s creating his own superheroines now and they all suck because you can’t point to a single one and say her superpower is this.*

Ms. Marvel is being streamed at the same time Obi-Wan is.  Since Disney still doesn’t have the new content they need, the only reason they would be doing that is to bury the bad numbers that they know  Ms. Marvel will bring.

On to Moonknight.

The trailer for Moonknight with Oscar Isaac looked very promising.  But I refused to be lured.  I was wise to be cautious. 

Here is a new film clip.

This is more like what I was expecting.  Moonknight is stumbling after a 90-pound waif who is beating up linebackers.  He is of course amazed by her because of how awesome she is.

Oscar, why do you keep signing up with Disney?  You know what they are like by now.

Also, the clawed hand at the end looked AWFUL. That’s not finished, right? Tell me that isn’t finished, Marvel.

Yeah, it’s finished and…

Yeah, it’s gonna suck.

*Fine, yes Lady Loki had enchantment powers but they were still ill-defined and they did whatever the plot needed them to.

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