G4 – The Pet Cemetery VersionThe Dark Herald
That really is what it feels like.
G4 came back from the dead but it came back…wrong.
Last week, G4’s alternate timeline trans Justin Bieber from 2010 named, Frosk, went off on a prolonged rant on G4’s live stream about sexism.
Now according to her rant, either Frosk objects to sexism in general or she feels there isn’t enough of it being directed at her specifically, it’s hard to tell which because she’s clearly an idiot. But the jaw-dropper was claiming that Olivia Munn was not on G4 to be looked at it. She actually said this.
Yeah, about that.
Although, Olivia Munn is kind of responsible for this live-streamed abortion.
Background: Back in the 1990s there was a channel called Tech TV. They did PC product reviews and tech support shows. It was basically a cable version of Linus Tech Tips.*
TechTV’s biggest show was X-Play, starring Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb, and it was almost the only gaming review show in existence back then. TechTV got bought up and was retooled as G4. While X-Play was winding down, G4 blew up (sort of) big with Attack of the Show. It was a five-night-a-week, live, high-energy Gen-X popculture nerd fest. And it was defiantly peppered with hot girls in tight dresses, who liked being hot. AOTS launched the careers of Olivia Munn and Chris Hardwick.
The secret of its success was that it looked like everyone on AOTS was having a blast. They weren’t at work; they were getter paid to have fun and you were having fun with them.
However, G4 couldn’t really future-proof itself. It never moved beyond its Generation-X core audience and our kids were getting too old to have that on TV while they were awake. The Millennials went elsewhere for G4s kind of content. Long story short, YouTube ate its lunch. Universal finally pulled the plug on New Year’s Eve 2014. That was the end of G4.
Then a few years ago Brian Roberts, the CEO of Comcast, gave his useless but good-looking son, Tucker, a hobby business, the Philadelphia Fusion, which is a pro Overwatch team (don’t laugh yet, there is funnier stuff to come). This fell under the new E-sports division of Comcast called Spectacor, and Baby Roberts was its president.
In 2018, Tucker suddenly finds himself in bed with Olivia Munn.
Tucker is 31, ten years younger than Olivia, meaning he was in his teens when she first showed up on Attack of the Show, (explaining his interest in her). Olivia is now 41, long past her blinking red palm crystal drop-dead date as an actress. If you are a film actress and you are older than 38, the only reason you will get hired is to act. Munn can’t do that. The only thing she ever brought to the party was looking hot and there are plenty of barely legal Zoomer girls that can do that better than she can at this point.
Which means that G4 has magic memories for her. It was what made her queen of thirsty nerds. She had so, so much constant attention. And as it just so happens, her new boytoy’s Daddy’s company owns the long-defunct IP.
Is there any of you who have the slightest doubt that it was her idea to bring back G4?
So, the IP is transferred to Spectacor, and the property starts getting spun back up. In late 2019, Olivia gets tired of pretending she knows anything about computers or gaming and drops Tucker for John Mulaney. They just had a kid. (Now you can laugh)
Well, Tucker can’t say, I’ve changed my strategic vision for this company because the bitch dumped me, can he? Daddy’s company has sunk a ton of money into Spectacor, they have built a $50 million arena for the (Overwatch) Philadelphia Fusion. (Now, you can really laugh) He has to move forward on G4. Truth be said since Comcast is going in heavy on E-sports, having a dedicated E-sports media company makes sense.
What doesn’t make sense is using an old AF badge like G4 to do it. For crying out loud it’s named after a Mac processor that was discontinued the year before YouTube was founded. You want Zoomers as your core audience for E-sports. And if you have fond memories of X-Play you probably also remember when there was music on MTV.
The only thing the G4 nameplate brings to the market is nostalgia value and Zoomers don’t have any unless it’s for Eighties Mall culture. This was fundamentally a bad idea, but it was one that was made so much worse by hiring on Adam Sessler.
Sessler is the worst kind of Gamma male, he’s a Gamma in the Will Wheaton mode. I call it, The Forgotten King.
When X-Play was a big thing in gaming, Sessler had a high enough status that he felt he was no longer a ‘Secret King’ but a ‘Secret King Now Revealed to All.’ Sadly for him, the source of his ego boost was completely external. He had no control at all over the thing that created his standing. And when his status vanished completely, he became a Forgotten King. A regular Gamma can tell himself he’ll be somebody someday, but a Forgotten King has had his day in the sun and ultimately, he knows it. Sessler turned into one of the most toxic internet trolls out there. He has come to hate gaming and gaming culture. Twitter was his only source of ego inflation for years, which pretty much says how fundamentally little he brings to the party.
The man is a soul poisoned, revolting little goblin. And the imam beard really didn’t help with his pedo-face.
The other retread is Kevin Pereira, who clearly is a man who now hates his life because the new G4 makes him hawk NFTs and crypto. Of Attack of the Show’s big three of Hardwick, Munn, and Pereira, he was the only one who didn’t walk away with a career. He was the last man standing on G4’s closing night. But don’t feel sad for him, he was a cohost on the Young Turks.
This gets us back to co-host Frosk’s meltdown which sank half of G4’s audience. Mostly, she was squealing about sexism in gaming. Whenever you hear that one getting brought up you know that isn’t the real issue. It never has been. It was first used when everyone was accusing Zoe Quinn (not without reason) of having banged her way to good reviews for her awful game. It has been brought up every time a woman says something stupid about gaming since then. It is always a smokescreen, but it is one that will summon forth the White Knights every time. Unsurprisingly, sexism is not the real issue here either.
The real issue is that Frosk is pretty much retarded. That was what she was mad about. She doesn’t know some very basic stuff about the gaming world. She allegedly got bounced out of the League of Legends community because she was biased for one region and pushed misinformation as fact. This is a pattern with her. Part of her problem is that she is completely surrounded by Gamma Males who won’t correct her when she has a bad take, so she runs with it. But the other is she just doesn’t know a lot of baseline information on games and gaming. She stated with perfect conviction that Microsoft was going to buy out Bioware, a company that is wholly owned by EA. It’s not an indie developer but she seems to think it is.
What caused the meltdown was Frosk saying the Sony Playstation 5 is “a dead man walking.” If you see the clip where she says that you can see Sessler being poleaxed, he knows she’s completely wrong, but he can’t say anything because he’s a Gamma and she is a she (probably). Frosk appears to be under the impression that Sony doesn’t have any notable franchises. That obviously isn’t true. I suspect what this actually means is that Sony doesn’t have any that SHE likes, therefore she dismisses the whole platform.
The Sony fanboys on the G4 livechat went after her for it. Since she didn’t address their real objections and went with a rant on sexism, it’s a good bet they struck home by making her feel like the snaggle-toothed moron she is.
The biggest and most painful complaint for her being that she is no Morgan Webb. Which is perfectly true, Webb actually knew something about gaming and went into development after G4 was a hard wrap. No one is going to hire Frosk for anything like that.
The new G4 is heavily influenced by people who were so useless they had to become professional leftists when the cable version called it a day. It is very political now with Gamma males chanting, ‘Yaas Queen’ at the unhinged rants of a woman who looks like she would be more at home pulling tricks in an alley for her next hit of rock than playing Fortnite.
So here we are. Fun and breezy G4 that died years ago has been brought back a shambling Woke current year zombie from the pop culture pet cemetery.
Sometimes dead is better.
*The guys who did that show are still around, they are called Twit.TV now. Mostly it’s podcasts but they still know what they are talking about.