The Batman – The Second Thoughts

The Batman – The Second Thoughts

Not about the trailer I still think it looks like flash and thunder that signifies Bad Robot filmmaking. These are just a few notions that didn’t fit the previous article.

(1) Young Batman:

The silly part of this whole thing is Young Batman. Going that route isn’t a bad idea at all. You can do a lot with it. You can get rid of the cape and have Young Batman parkouring his way across the rooftops of Gotham. Alfred will be young enough to be good in a fight too (put a pin in that one).

But if you are going to do that you don’t hire Robert Pattinson (35) or Ed Skrein (38). You use Tanner Buchanan (22) from Cobra Kai.

Who am I kidding? If you convince Walter Hamada to go with actually Young Batman he’d insist on Finn Wolfhard from Stranger Things.

(2) Alfred:

They always make Alfred vaguely disapproving of Bruce’s little hobby but he summons his stiff upper lip and soldiers on despite the young Master Bruce’s determination to get himself killed.

The thing is Alfred was his guardian during Bruce’s minority. And he got ahold of Bruce at a very young and impressionable age.

What if Alfred wasn’t a passive voice? What if he was pushing Bruce to become Batman? It fills in a lot of gaps in Bruce’s developmental years. A kid with that much inner rage will normally turn it towards self-destruction. But not if Alfred decided to redirect and focus it. And not if Alfred had his own considerable axe to grind with the underworld of Gotham City.

Maybe Alfred had tried the vigilante life himself after the Waynes were killed and he couldn’t get the hang of it.

Why doesn’t the criminal element fear me?

(3) The Batmobile:

One of the few things I appreciated (there is a difference between appreciation and liking), was The Batman’s Batmobile.

The Batmobile in a modern setting is kind of a dilemma.  On the one hand, it’s a character in its own right. Batman without his ride is as unthinkable as Holmes without Watson. The problem is in 1939, a car that could go 130 MPH in a world without reliable car radios or helicopters could probably avoid bringing unwanted visitors to the Batcave’s entrance, (provided the driver is alert and skilled enough).  

But today you do have helicopters, plus drones, satellites, and passersby with cellphones.  It doesn’t matter how good a driver you are; by the end of the first week, everybody is going to know that that weird black car disappears into the cave under Wayne Manor when Batman has called it a night.  It isn’t hard to put two and two together after that.

You really have to block out the problems mentally when you watch any of these shows.

It’s not an impossible problem.  A disguised tractor-trailer acting as a mothership. A Batmobile that can change its appearance.  Or one that can just plain turn invisible.  There are other solutions. Although they usually avoid having any kind of automobile.

Here is a site with the entire history of the Batmobile

I found out the first Batmobile was an Auburn Cord

If you have to fight crime, then do it with style!

Okay, I’m done here.

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Comments (7)

  • Robert Earl Blume Reply

    Damn that Aubirn Cord is sweet.

    October 23, 2021 at 2:11 pm
  • furor kek tonicus Reply

    Auburn Indiana hosts the Auburn-Cord-Duesenberg museum. they also run some pretty big car auctions.
    .
    Duesies ( often spelled “doozies” nowadays ) were running 4 valves per cylinder, double overhead cams and superchargers.
    in the 1930s.
    on straight 8s.
    .
    Honda ain’t shit.

    October 23, 2021 at 6:46 pm
  • Cloudbuster Reply

    I thought the Gotham TV series did a good take on the young Bruce/Batman and Alfred dynamic. Alfred still young enough to be a formidable brawler and not disapproving, but rather engaging in a particularly radical style of free-range parenting.

    That kid, David Mazouz, is 20 now — about the right age to play a young Batman fully out on his own.

    October 24, 2021 at 12:32 am
  • jorgen Reply

    Cellphones and video surveilence should never exist in the Batman universe. Simple as that.

    Same as they did with Stargate SG1. Filmed in the late 90s and early 2000s, yet the Gould who were advanced aliens with hyperdrives, had no cameras and very rudimentary communications. That way SG1 could sneak around their ships undetected. Otherwise, there would have been no show. They would be instantly caught, the Gould would be unbeatable, earth destroyed, the end.

    Buffy had no cellphones despite beginning in 1999, and almost had no phones at all. Instead of calling her friends (or vice versa) Buffy would run across town to talk to them. Despite cars existing, she never rode in one except maybe one episode. She always had to run around town. That way the use of swords and axes, and the constant vampire encounters that only work on foot, worked.

    Fiction is fiction. And fiction works better when cellphones aren’t in it because they make all kinds of action impossible. The modern world is boring. Our heros of the past could never exist in the stifling disgusting modern surveilance state. Might as well admit it and keep the stuff set in the past. Heros can’t exist in the modern world, period, because they will be arrested instantly as soon as they are seen on a surveilance camera doing anything heroic. The future belongs wholly to criminals because of this. Barring a nuclear war or massive vaxx die off setting technology back massively, that is.

    October 24, 2021 at 5:22 am
    • jorgen Reply

      Another example of using throwback technology is Burn Notice. Filmed 2007-2013, and yet nobody uses smart phones but only FLIP phones. That enables all the spy junk with using flip phones as burners, that wouldn’t really have worked by 2013 in actuality. If there were ever to reboot the franchise, they would have to keep that “everybody uses a flip phone” and “you can totally still buy burner flip phones easily” or the show would not work. Upgrading it to smart phones that track your every move so that super spy’s location is always known by his enemies even though he’s using a burner phone (but its a smart phone burner phone so his enemies just get his location from google or apple) would not work.

      October 24, 2021 at 5:35 am
      • David Reply

        Burn Notice was such an excellent show with great writing… and was showing everyone how the deep state worked before most people understood what that was. It probably should have ended a season earlier but my personal favorite of all the USA shows with Monk in second place.

        October 24, 2021 at 6:24 am
      • Talos Valcoran Reply

        Burn notice is great – i’m going to rewatch my dvds next snow day.

        October 26, 2021 at 7:41 pm

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