Queen Dani’s Stupid Comic Book

Emilia Clarke of Terminator Genisys/Solo fame has proven that she still can’t pick a project. And before any of you mentions Game of Thrones, that was obviously luck. 

Wanted: English actress for HBO series.  Must have little girl anime eyes and be five foot nothing.  Acting is optional, nudity is not.

All of her side projects have been failures.  She is slated for a Marvel series; Secret Invasion, on Disney+.  But given Marvel’s record on Epic Mickey’s Streaming Service, I see no reason to at all to believe her losing streak will be broken.  Her management team must not either. That is where this comic book comes in.

From Variety:

“I read a lot of fantasy novels full of rich worlds as a child, like ‘Lord of the Rings.’ That was always the place my imagination would gravitate toward. Later on, when I went to Comic-Con for the first time at 22 with ‘Game of Thrones,’ I was amazed at what I saw — almost entirely men. 

And the bullshit bell goes *ding-ding-ding*

Almost entirely men at San Diego Comicon?!?!  

Maybe when it was all about comic books but it sure as hell hasn’t been that way for a long time.  It’s a normie event. Besides, the place is swamped with actresses cosplaying as Nerd’s Inexplicably Hot Girlfriend Who Didn’t Want to Come to Comicon But Did Anyway.

Here’s a look at the dealer room.

Later, as tides turned in the industry and #MeToo emerged, I began to look at the community through those eyes and it was arresting,” she said.

My wife had a favorite comics shop when she was in college.  She never bought anything; she just went there to cause asthma attacks.  She found it incredibly validating when she could leave men gasping by her mere presence.  She also KNEW she was never going to have to deal with any of them hitting on her.  They couldn’t even speak to her. 

“M.O.M.: Mother of Madness” will publish in July from Image Comics…

CALLED IT!!! Totally called it! I absolutely knew it was going to be Image Comics.

co-written by Clarke and Marguerite Bennett (“Bombshells,” “Josie and the Pussycats”) with art from Leila Leiz (“Horde”).

Which is to say, entirely written by Marguerite Bennett.

“In doing my research, I found that 16% of comic book creators are female, according to a 2019 study, and only 30% of comic book characters are women. 

“(O)nly 30% of comic book characters are women.” What the hell study was this?  I’m not sure that was even true sixty years ago.  It sure as hell isn’t the case now.  Was the data sample limited to 1950s titles like: He-Men of the NorthWest Territories? 

On the other hand, roughly half of comic book buyers are female. 

Hang a minute.  If you are talking about American comic books the female market is no better than 20%. The only way you can get to half is if you include Manga.  

Okay, Dani let’s include women Manga-ka in your Oppression Olympics.  The richest comic book writer in the world is Rumiko Takahashi ($70 million). 

Something did not sit right with me in that exchange, and all these signs were telling me to go make my own,” said Clarke.

All these signs were also telling me, I will need somebody to ghost this for me because I don’t even write my own tweets.

“M.O.M.” is centered on Maya, a busy single parent whose life is upended by the discovery of superpowers.

“She’s a single mum that’s got to get shit done. This was born from the idea that single mothers are superheroes. You need superhuman strength to do that. When you get into your 30s and your friends start having kids, you’re like, ‘Oh my god. I was not aware of what it took. Holy shit,’” she said.

Note that Emilia isn’t mentioning how they got to be single mothers in the first place.  Eighty percent of divorces are initiated by the wife.  

Another key identifier for the character is that all of her powers manifest from her menstrual cycle.

CLAP BITCHES!!!

“The bloating, the hair growth, the mood swings, the [acne], all of it. We hate that when it happens, speaking for myself and everyone I’ve ever met who has had a period. 

Note the careful wording.  Presumably these things still happen to the “men” who have periods.

What if we turned that around and made the period something that we can feel as this unique, crazy, superhuman thing that happens in our body? When Maya is scared, she goes invisible, when she’s angry, she has superhuman strength. She can swing like Spider-Man from her armpit hair,” Clarke says.

Seriously Vox, how did you pass this one up for Arkhaven?

This is what is really going on here.  Emilia Clarke is now 34, which is blinking red palm crystal territory for an actress.  She has a string of failures behind her which didn’t stop her from having this really terrible idea for a superhero movie and/or Netflix series.  

Original IPs don’t get made into movies anymore.  In 2019, 90% of all movies were based on some preexisting intellectual property.  Did you know that Kingsmen was originally a comic book?  Emilia sure did.  So was Umbrella Academy, October Faction, Locke and Key, Jupiter’s Legacy, V-Wars… You get the idea.

These days a new comic book is just a pitch meeting.

Producer Guy: So, you have a movie for me?

Writer Guy: Yes sir, I do!  It’s about a single mother with superpowers…

Producer Guy: Single mothers are tight!

Writer Guy: Eww. Anyway, this single mother gets her superpowers only when it’s that time of the month!

Producer Guy: Wow, wow, wo-woah? What?  No! What the hell is wrong with you? Box your shit and get out! You. Are. Fired!

Emilia’s managers did little or no research when putting this announcement together. They just gave her stuff to read knowing full well that no left-leaning trade publication like Variety was going to challenge any of it. And then they had her play the victim card when everyone pointed out how stupid the whole thing is.

Yeah, it’s gonna suck.

Okay, I’m done here.

UPDATE: Image Comics really believes in this project. M.O.M. Is digital only. No print copies at all.