2023 - Page 20 of 34 - Arkhaven Site

29MayMay 29, 2023

RE:View Forbidden Planet

Forbidden Planet is arguably the most influential space opera of the 20th century. Yes, I’m including 2001, Star Wars, and Alien in that statement. The reason is simple it was genesis. There were elements of all three of those films in Forbidden Planet. Sure, there were space opera movies before Forbidden Planet. But most were serials that were heavily influenced by Edgar Rice Burroughs like Flash Gordan or Buck Rogers. George Pal produced some of the best early efforts in that genre but sadly his...

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29MayMay 29, 2023

The Little Mermaid Craters

This is a disaster for Disney. Not that you would know that from the level of spin going on in the trade media. "BOFFO BOX OFFICE BONANZA FOR THE LITTLE MERMAID THAT COULD! $163 MILLION ON ITS OPENING WEEKEND!!! If that was just the domestic total then, awesome, boffo indeed. But it's the grand total. Just for reference, the godawful CGI Lion King remake hauled in $269 million on its opening weekend and that was in 2019 pre-Bidenflation bucks. In today...

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26MayMay 26, 2023

The Prisoner Under a Glass – Why Did You Resign?

If whatever we wanted to say is not already contained within the episodes of the series then I failed in the production of them and any amount of chit-chat now will not make good that omission. – Patrick McGoohan Goddamn Sigma Males. – The Dark Herald Every episode of The Prisoner begins the same way. A thundercloud is crackling dangerously overhead. A Lotus 7 comes roaring down a highway, we see the driver dressed in black and he is clearly in a rage about something. He roars through...

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25MayMay 25, 2023

Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Miss us yet, Indy? The Cannes film festival is considered a very big deal. By people who don't know anything about it. Really it's just the European film market's trade show. That said, it is important from a commercial perspective. Enough so, that a bunch of well-known actors will dig out their passports and head over to France. C-list celebs of carious stripes will fly out to Cannes too. Has-beens who are desperately hoping a European...

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24MayMay 24, 2023

The Need for Poetry Like Draco Alchemicus

American Poetry. There was a time, believe it or not, that it was central to American life. People would attend, in fact, pay good money for, professional readings. In parlors across the United States, people would get together and discuss poems. Every school child would be taught the basics of poetry and be required to construct poems. In the same way that everyone today knows the basics of Star Wars and Harry Potter, all Americans of a bygone era knew a list of famous poems...

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22MayMay 22, 2023

Ray Stevenson Dead at 58

Today keeps sucking. Actor Ray Stevenson, who starred as Titus Pullo in the HBO series Rome has died at the age of 58. Stevenson was a familiar and chiseled face in genre films and TV shows. He was more of a character actor than a headliner although he did play Frank Castle in the rather underrated Punisher Warzone. He was also one of Thor's viking bros in the Marvel movies. He was recently in RRR as the evil British governor....

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22MayMay 22, 2023

Moana Fired From Moana

Auli'i Cravalho, who voiced Moana in the animated movie has been fired from the live-action remake, for not being Polynesian enough. Nevermind, that she was the headliner in the animated blockbuster version, speaks Hawaiian, did the Polynesian dialog versions. And has a name that requires phonetic spelling if you are to have a prayer of getting it right. She ain't Hawaiian enough, she's half Puerto Rican, so she's out. The reason Moana is getting a remake this fast is that it is...

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19MayMay 19, 2023

Arkhaven Spotlight: Hypergamouse

After a well deserved and truthfully unavoidable break, Lacey Fairchild's hit creation is back. On the off chance you are not familiar with Arktoons perpetually chart topping (and now available in Mandarin) webtoon. Hypergamouse is a slice of life comedy built around the oldest Game in the world. "The first and only comic series about Game and the Socio-Sexual Hierarchy! Because if you can't figure out why you don't have a date and no one is interested in you,...

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18MayMay 18, 2023

The Wreck of the Halcyon

REPOST: May 18, 2023. FLASH! The Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser is now officially the most expensive failure in the history of Disney Parks. The last voyage of the bad ship Halcyon will be on Feb 28, of 2024. THEY ARE SHUTTING IT DOWN. Defying my prediction that they would try retheming it for the more popular Mandalorian before "temporarily closing it for renovations," and then quietly tearing it down a few years later. However, given Mando's...

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18MayMay 18, 2023

The Death of Ms. Marvel… For Now

The Twitter Stans are freaking out over the death of Kamala Khan. Because Twitter Stans are retards. There is simply no way in Hell that current year Ms. Marvel would be allowed to die and stay dead. She has repeatedly been given new comics and they are always canceled. She doesn't even have her own title at the moment but she is still be used all the time. You know damn good and well that a strong Muslim girl...

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Yearly Archives - 2023