2022 - Page 2 of 31 - Arkhaven Site

21DecDecember 21, 2022

The Dark Herald Defends the American Film Industy

Wait! Im doing what now?! From our friends at Bounding Into Comics Annual GLAAD Report Gives Poor Grades To Every Major Film Studios For “Lack Of LGBTQ Representation” In Movies. This decision was made in direct response to Disney’s attempt to enter politics by opposing the state of Florida’s Parental Rights in Education Law, which bans the teaching of sexuality and transgenderism to children between kindergarten through third grade. “No company that chooses silence over allyship should receive high scores from LGBTQ organizations while...

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20DecDecember 20, 2022

AfterShock Comics Is Bankrupt!

The well-known indie comic book publisher that launched in 2015 has filed for Chapter 11 in Central California District Court. Not much of a surprise. A string of its creators had been publically complaining that AfterShock hadn't paid them. There is a long list of people standing in line with their hands out and expectant looks on their faces including San Diego Comicon and several media companies that were developing AfterShock IPs. Normally a company can emerge from...

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20DecDecember 20, 2022

RE:View – The Muppet Christmas Carol

No story on Earth has been done to death as thoroughly as Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol. Every possible iteration on this classic story has been made. I tried to find out how many versions there were by typing “A Christmas Carol” into the IMDB search bar, and it called me an asshole. Or it may as well have. I stopped counting the screen adaptions when I hit the fifth search page of results. A Nashville Christmas Carol, A Country Christmas Carol, Dora’s Christmas...

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19DecDecember 19, 2022

Disney Deathwatch: The Christmas Edition

This has been a rough December for Disney films. Wakanda Forever has legged out with a box office at $780 million. There might be a little more money coming in, but the theatrical run has defied my predictions and is settling about $100 million lower than I had forecast. This is bad news for me, nut seriously bad news for Disney because that means it has lost at least $100 million. I know it has to be surprising that Marvel would have to break...

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17DecDecember 17, 2022

PRE:View Disney’s Willow

Welcome to a new feature here at the Arkhaven Blog: PRE:View. Modern Woke Hollywood and Woke Disney in particular, is the pinnacle of storytelling failure. Just by looking at the characters’ race and gender, plus the tropes the show is leaning into, you can tell how the entire story is going to go. They are completely predictable now. I’m starting this series off by giving myself a challenge, Disney’s Willow. Willow is a BOLD REIMAGINING of LucasFilm’s 1988 garbage-tier Tolkien feature of the same name. I...

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15DecDecember 15, 2022

James Gunn Does Not Get the Benefit of the Doubt

The only reason DC fans were excited about James Gunn taking the helm at DC was that it seemed to coincide with Henry Cavill’s announced return to his signature role as Superman. When he wasn’t being weighed down by Zach Snyder’s grim dark visuals, Cavill could deliver the warm-hearted, aspirational boy scout that everyone on Earth wants Superman to be. Now that the scales have been kicked from my eyes, I can see a lot more clearly what James Gunn will bring...

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15DecDecember 15, 2022

Oops, I Called That Wrong

That post aged badly. Henry Cavill has just confirmed that he is out as Superman. At this point, I am not certain about anything. If Cavill is gone then there might be an entire from-the-ground-up reboot of the DCU. James Gunn's first public decision about the DCEU and it just alienated a gigantic portion of the fanbase.

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15DecDecember 15, 2022

I’ll Believe It When I see it

Apparently, this one is making the rounds again. I’ve been hearing rumors of Kathleen Kennedy’s imminent departure from LucasFilm for years now and it has never happened yet. I admit her continued employment at Disney flies in the face of both business and common sense. She is unquestionably the worst brand manager in the entire history of all entertainment. The Force Awakens was a competent restart if drearily unoriginal. Its primary problem was that once people had a chance to think about the parts that...

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13DecDecember 13, 2022

The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Monster High: The Movie

I had no hopes for this “movie.” And it delivered on that. Here’s the background from a few months ago From Nickelodeon and Paramount +, the one-two punch of suck comes Monster High – The Movie. This is going to be a live-action version of the toy/video cross-over series from about ten years ago. I can’t fault the original business model as it handily had its way with my wallet whenever I made the financially ill-considered journey to Toys R’ Us. The dolls were meant to...

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09DecDecember 9, 2022

The Death of Disney Animation (Part Three of Two)

Part One Part Two If there is one thing that Disney-trained executives universally fail at, it is processing bad news that will remain bad news. No matter how bad some event is, Disney-trained execs are always going to try and find “a spoon full of sugar” from somewhere. Doesn’t matter if it is an extinction-level event, they are going to view every problem as an opportunity, even if it is obviously an insoluble opportunity. Optimism is nice and all. But when you are deep in the...

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Yearly Archives - 2022