September 2022 - Page 2 of 3

19SepSeptember 19, 2022

The Rings of Power ep.4 – The Rings of MAGA

Nooo, The Fall of Númenor will be published by the Tolkien Estate in November. Okay, okay, you can do this. Just do what you do to create any kind of new habit. Stimulus, action, and reward. Stimulus: Mash the Play button. Action: Suffer. Reward: Collapse sobbing. Right, I got this. Mashing Play now. An hour and ten minutes, oh god it’s getting longer. I’m never gonna make it. This thing is s-o-o-o… s-l-o-o-o-w. I know what they are doing. They are padding their run time to get to their...

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17SepSeptember 17, 2022

Arktoons Roundup Sept 17th 2022

Welcome to the Arkhaven Roundup, a regular feature at the Arkhaven Blog usually on Mondays but I’ll be moving it to Fridays for the duration of Amazon’s soul-destroying Lord of the Rings pastiche. Anyway, the Arktoons Roundup is where I take a look at stuff that is new and interesting in the world of Arkhaven’s webtoons. If you aren’t familiar with Arktoons, this is meant more for you. I am the Dark Herald; I do the blogging here at Arkhaven. This blog is mostly...

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16SepSeptember 16, 2022

G4TV: An Unfortunate Idea Comes To A Fortunate End

G4 returns to the dustbin of history that it crawled out of. It’s over as of today. The staff showed up at the studio for their streams and were told to go home. G4’s Twitter account stated: Due to unforeseen circumstances all of our streaming content is canceled today. Unforeseen? That’s funny because I was foreseeing the hell out of it. So was everybody else. I’ve gone into detail elsewhere about G-4’s unearthly resurrection and how it came to be. I’m certain that it was Olivia Munn’s idea...

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15SepSeptember 15, 2022

How Did the Rings of Power Happen?

That’s a question that is going to be asked for a good long while. I can’t think of anything they got right at all. The casting is terrible, and they are all unknowns except for Sir Lenny Henry, and I can hear the chorus of owls going ‘who?’ through my computer. He’s playing the old, magic negro hobbit and I’m afraid he’s been a has-been for a *while. This was a $500 million dollar series and none of it could be spared for...

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14SepSeptember 14, 2022

Why Marvel Went Woke

This is from a source supposedly inside Marvel Studios and on the face of it, it would appear to be legitimate. According to this source, I’ve been right on some things but wrong on others. In a nutshell, Marvel’s original business plan was to reach saturation in the West. Which it did, mission accomplished. The next phase of their business plan was to saturate the China market. This was why Shang-Chi was produced. Disney was totally on board with this strategy and went all out...

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13SepSeptember 13, 2022

The Dark Herald’s D23 Expo Report

D23 is Disney’s big annual dog and pony show, it's where they make all their major announcements. Except they haven’t really had one for a while. The last two have been pretty stripped down and virtual affairs for a couple of years. The last time they held a real D23 Bob Iger was still running the company. The timing as usual was a little problematic. It’s always a matter of who stuck his foot in his mouth and over what. This time it was Josh D’Amaro...

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12SepSeptember 12, 2022

Rings of Power Episode 3: We Hateses the Filthy Harfootses

There is almost some good news, episode 3 is slightly better. There was no Elrond, no Celeborn, no Elfagorn’s Single White Mother girlfriend in episode 3. Sadly, it did have Galadriel. Karen-Galadriel finally wakes up on the ship and demands to speak to the manager and sure enough, the ship’s captain is Elendil. They sail into Númenor, and credit, where it’s due the CG guys, made a lot of pretty, pretty stuff. If you are easily entertained by fidget spinners and jingling car keys you...

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09SepSeptember 9, 2022

RE:Play Blood

“I live. Again.” That won’t last, Caleb. Well, it’s September, and these days that means it is Halloween season(?). Fine, I’ll roll with it. Time for a RE:Play that is holiday appropriate: Blood. All of the great Build engine FPS games of the 1990s were the product of eighties pop culture. Shadow Warrior was based on Hong Kong action movies that had suddenly gone mainstream in America thanks to video rentals. Plus, a lot of anime tropes. Did you know the human body contains over twenty-five gallons...

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08SepSeptember 8, 2022

Arktoons Roundup Sept 7, 2022

Welcome to the Arkhaven Roundup, a regular feature at the Arkhaven Blog on usually on Mondays but this week was kind of special. It’s where I take a look at stuff that is new and interesting in the world of Arkhaven’s webtoons. If you aren’t familiar with Arktoons, this is meant more for you. I am the Dark Herald, I do the blogging here at Arkhaven. This blog is mostly pop culture news, reviews, and opinion, in short, the usual. But you aren’t here for...

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07SepSeptember 7, 2022

25 Million Views… Oh, R-E-A-L-L-Y

Hello, I'm the Dark Herald and I'm here to look at your books. Have you ever heard the phrase, “numbers don’t lie?” Accountants say that all the time… When they want a good laugh. Amazon is proudly claiming they have 25 million views for Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, on its very first day of streaming. That is a nice ROUND number, isn’t it? “25 million people viewed it.” Always be careful with the exact wording. We can start with I don’t believe it...

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Monthly Archives - September 2022