Uncategorized Archives - Page 21 of 130

09JulJuly 9, 2024

The Skydance/Paramount Merger is Back On

#TheDarkHeraldWasRight As I said, “Redstone is hot to sell and Skydance is hot to buy, so this is now just negotiating.”The walking away from the table was just another negotiating ploy. Turns out that Shari Redstone was trying to get to the price she wanted, and she appears to have gotten there. Skydance and Paramount have agreed to a merger. Shari Redstone’s worthless stock will now be turned into something valuable. Namely 8 billion bucks. At the time of their...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

08JulJuly 8, 2024

Kotaku Australia Has Folded

My heart! Oh, my poor wounded heart! Kotaku Down Under is no more! Won’t someone please think of the children?If I was a better person, I’d be trying to come up with some kind of emotion tangential to empathy. After all, Kotaku wasn’t always this steaming, radioactive pile. When it first launched this was its mascot, which tells you just about everything it used to be. Brian Crecente was brought in a month after Kotaku launched in 2006 and turned it...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

07JulJuly 7, 2024

The Star Wars Holiday Special Wasn’t That Bad

At least not by 1970s TV standards.Here is the first appearance of the Justice League on TV. It was in 1979, Wonder Woman was still in production and Lynda Carter wasn't in this. Lynda Carter felt she was too good to appear in this thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUTCePDSYy8 There is no part II. The guy doing this video gave up.Discuss on Social Galactic

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

05JulJuly 5, 2024

What the Sandman Dreams Of

WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS GRAPHICI really didn’t want to write this article but it’s clear that the media has been given orders to protect Neil Gaiman.It’s been so long since I first picked up a Sandman comic book that I honestly don’t remember which story I came in on. Preludes and Nocturnes had wrapped, which I remember because I had to buy the graphic novel. In my youth, I tended to think too highly of artists. I honestly, believed that...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

05JulJuly 5, 2024

Happy 4th of July!

Comedy is tragedy plus time and nothing I can say will make this any funnier.It was either this or piece of Neil Gaiman's sex life.Go enjoy the firework with your family and friends, America was never about musical theater.

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

03JulJuly 3, 2024

RE:View Time Bandits

"Removing his helmet reveals himself to be none other than Sean Connery or an actor of equal but cheaper stature." This joke, made on a golf course is more or less how got Time Bandits got greenlit. The Joke was made to Sean Connery himself, and he liked it. It was the start of trend for him during the eighties. Highlander, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and a few others. Time Bandits is the most inexplicable kids’ film of all time. Possibly...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

02JulJuly 2, 2024

Appendix N: A Martian Odyssey by Stanley G. Weinbaum

The year was 1989. Young Idiot College Student Herald was nosing through The Merchant of Venus when he came upon a shrink-wrapped paperback that was at least twenty years old judging from the acid rock cover art. The title was The Best of Stanley G. Weinbaum. I snatched it off the shelf greedily. I had to sacrifice that week's Prizzao fund to buy it. No regrets it's still sitting on my library shelf.In that day and age, luck was...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

01JulJuly 1, 2024

Tiana’s Tunnel of Terror

"WE ARE SORRY BUT WE ARE UNABLE TO CONTINUE OUR ADVENTURE ON TIANA'S..."Tiana’s Biayu Adventure is now officially a black eye for Disney. The beloved Splash Mountain has been reimagined into a ride that is, to put it mildly, “troubled.” It’s breaking down constantly. Emergency evacuations are now a daily occurrence, the animatronics, what few there are, simply do not work reliably. Now the screens are failing.What has gone wrong?Honestly, the reason is pretty simple. The DEI Imagineers have no idea...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

01JulJuly 1, 2024

Kalki 2898 AD: I’m In

I didn't understand a word of this trailer and I was more entertained by those three minutes than I was the entire five hours of the Acolyte I've had to sit through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1-w1kUGuz8 Discuss on Social Galactic

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

28JunJune 28, 2024

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turnThat Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,So we left them...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorizedComments Off