2024 - Page 28 of 34 - Arkhaven Site

25MarMarch 25, 2024

The Dark Herald Recommends – Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Ivan Reitman’s early years in Hollywood are something he would have liked swept as far under the carpet as possible. His Salad Days body of work included such titles as Columbus of Sex, Cannibal Girls, Rabid (starring Marilyn Chambers in her only non-pornographic role), Shivers, and that groundbreaking classic, Ilsa the Tigress of Siberia. These movies were all slightly better than they had any right to be, but it looked like he was never going to find his way out of...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

23MarMarch 23, 2024

3D Realms Will Die Free

I’m trying to put this in a positive light but I’m having trouble lighting the candle. As is well known, Embracer Group put it all on the wrong horse..The Embracer bought up everything under the sun with the intention of selling itself to Amazon for well over a billion dollars. Except that Amazon sobered up, took a horrified look at the “sweeper” they had woken up next to, stole back the engagement ring on the nightstand, and jumped out of the nearest...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

21MarMarch 21, 2024

Top Ten FPS Shotguns (part 1)

The Coach Gun, the Trench Broom, the Boom Stick, the Brixton Typewriter? (Seriously?) Most commonly called the shotgun. All but harmless at a distance yet so terrifying at close quarters that the Kaiser’s Wehrmacht tried to get it banned by the Geneva Conventions, (Silly Germans, America has never signed the Geneva Convention). Still a staple of the military, police, and home defense. To say nothing of the First Person Shooter.It’s honestly close to impossible to picture this genre of game...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

21MarMarch 21, 2024

RE:View Terminator 2 – Judgment Day

Whatever Faustian bargain James Cameron seems to have made for his early mega successes with The Terminator and Aliens came due with The Abyss. Despite positive reviews and a pretty decent story, the film was an abject disaster at the box office. If there’s one thing that Hollywood loves more than overnight riches, it’s a meteoric fall. The wolves were scratching at James Cameron’s door. Everyone was wondering, was this guy just a one-hit-wonder? At that point in his career, Cameron needed...

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19MarMarch 19, 2024

George Lucas Turns to the Dark Side

“Creating magic is not for amateurs. I remain a significant shareholder because I have full faith and confidence in the power of Disney and Bob’s track record of driving long-term value. I have voted all of my shares for Disney’s 12 directors and urge other shareholders to do the same.” - George LucasA lot of people are shrieking but I’m not one of them. I did make a joke about Lucas backing Peltz a while back, but I wasn’t serious...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

19MarMarch 19, 2024

The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Damsel

It’s always obvious when a genre has outstayed it’s welcome. In 1969, Hello, Dolly! was launched into a world where the innocence of the high-production Broadway musical film was no longer welcome. The Sixth Day was arguably Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best 80s-style blast flick but no one was interested by 2000. So it is with Damsel. This film feels like an intriguing artifact. A leftover from another time. It has arrived as another genre whose time is passed.However, and this is...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

16MarMarch 16, 2024

Star Wars Has Made Disney $13 Billion?!?!?

That pitch to Disney shareholders has been a barrel of laughs. Bob Iger has to be feeling like he is standing in Michael Eisner's shoes twenty years ago. Just about every one of Eisner's fatal problems has an analog today.ABC Capital Cities was assimilated by the Mickey-Borg in 1996. Part of the reason that Murphy and Burke decided to let Michael Eisner buy the company was because they had promised Bob Iger that he would become CEO of ABC Capital Cities...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

15MarMarch 15, 2024

RE:View – The Terminator

Los Angeles 2029: There is nothing but rubble, mountains of skulls and gigantic killing machines rolling through the streets gunning down the last few remaining inhabitants of LA.“YEAH SKYNET!! GIT SUM! GIT SUM! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! HOO-RA-A-AH!”“Dear, please quit rooting for the terminators,” The Mother of the Darkspawn sighed. “It’s bothering the children.”“Nah, we’re cool with it, Mom,” replied Darkspawn.Before Westworld came along the Robot Apocalypse used to be cool. The Machines weren’t angsty at all. They just wanted to...

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13MarMarch 13, 2024

The Latest Round of Disney White Papers

We have two more white paper filings to the SEC in fast approaching showdown between Nelson Peltz’s Trian group and Robert Iger’s tame board of directors that he wants to keep tame. Peltz’s filing was a thorough 130 page evisceration of the Walt Disney Company’s failings. Trian is the opposition. His pitch for himself and Jay Rasulo being on the board is made on a strong business track record.Since Bob Iger can’t possibly stand on his own merits in 2024, he has...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

12MarMarch 12, 2024

Walt Disney World Investments SLASHED!!!

Oops. Bob Iger's supporters said the quiet part out loud.The Disney Company has released an editorial reply to Nelson Peltz and Trian's white paper. Mickey and Great and Terrible's own white paper is kind of an embarrassment. Disney seems to have convinced itself its financial legerdemain is so brilliant no one could hope to penetrate it. Well, I did, and so did anybody else that wasn't high on Pixie-Dust. One of Bob Iger's big claims for the park is that he...

By The Dark HeraldUncategorized

Yearly Archives - 2024