19Aug
Star Wars The Acolyte is Canceled
There will be no season 2. My shocked face is broken.
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19Aug
The Dark Herald Recommends – Alien: Romulus
It’s an incredible irony that the greatest science fiction horror movie of all time started life as a comedy. Dan O’Bannon’s first script, shot with his friend John Carpenter, was the cult classic Dark Star. It’s about a scout ship on a 20 year mission that looks for “unstable planets” then destroys them with an AI controlled super bomb. The crew spends three years in cryosleep between missions, (sound familiar?) One of the characters, Sergeant Pinback has a pet alien that...
17Aug
Neil Gaiman’s Coraline Sequel Gets Unfortunate Update
It's from Comicbook.com so they are going to great pains to avoid mentioning certain... Uh... Things. Just two months after news broke that Coraline filmmaker Henry Selick was planning to adapt Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane, the filmmaker now says it looks like that movie is in a pretty uncertain state. At the time, Selick had said he hoped to make it his next film if he could find studio backing, but it's possible that with...
16Aug
Gamer Gate Is Over, We Won
Gaming journalism is dead. It died last week. Gideon Litchfield, the Editor and Chief has thrown Wired’s credibility completely down the toilet. He has come forward defending Wired’s ludicrous 1/10 rated review of Hogwarts Legacy. There is no part of this review that isn’t laughably incompetent on every level. It fails at everything a review should try to do. The reviewer in question “Jaina Grey” doesn’t do game reviews at all. Jaina’s beat (sorry for that choice of word) is anal sex...
15Aug
Helldivers II: What Happened?
What didn't happen? Helldivers 2 first came to my attention when I saw a game trailer for it on YouTube. I'd forgotten that Helldivers 1 was even in my Steam account. A sequel was nowhere on my radar. I'm one of the few veterans of the First Galactic War left to tell the tale. Helldivers was a decent and inexpensive top-down shooter. It had the usual things that indicate a good but not terribly high budget. Professional voice actors but the cut...
14Aug
You Do Not Have the Right to Sue Disney
I am personally certain that Bob Iger secretly longs to be the CEO of Apple and not Disney. I mean, yeah ruling Disney and getting to have movie stars constantly kissing his butt is nice and all but Disney at it's most powerful (and it certainly isn't that powerful anymore thanks to Bob) was never able to influence the world like Apple has. So perhaps it isn't a surprise that Bob Iger found the above episode of South Park inspirational....
13Aug
D23: Bob Iger is Taking the Walt out of Disney World
You could tell from the look on his face that Josh D’Amaro the Chairman of Disney Parks knew this announcement was going to go over like a lead Hindenburg. Frontierland at WDW is effectively going to be bulldozed to create Cars Land. A few years ago there was an “audit” conducted by Disney DEI for sensitivity on various attractions at Disney. It will shock my Darklings to their toenails to learn that American history is racist, sexist, and homophobic. This audit was the...
12Aug
The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Borderlands
There is a reason that men hate a Mary Sue more than women. Men care about another man’s struggles. Women don’t care about men’s struggles at all. Not even a little bit. They just wait at the finish line and bang the winner. This is the Heroine’s Journey in a nutshell. Normally when I look at a film like Borderlands, I’m left wondering, “How do you make a movie as bad as this?” In this case, I already knew the answer; “You...
10Aug
Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck: Disney’s Snow White
At least I won't have to see it until next year. A lot can happen in a year. Civilization might fall. Elon might raid Disney. My frozen spaghetti in a waffle cone idea could be a surprise hit. A lot can happen in a year. What won't happen is Snow White becoming a good movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbiPcMCz0Ek Discuss on Social Galactic
09Aug
Warner to Start Selling Off its Gaming Division
Last year Warner had an unexpected mega-hit with Hogwarts Legacy. The fact is that this year it probably would have bombed because of Sweet Baby Inc.’s involvement. It’s hilariously ironic that a game as Woke as Hogwarts Legacy blew the doors off because gamers and Hary Potter fans wanted to give the Death to JK crowd the middle finger and were willing to plunk down quite a few bucks to do it. This year Warner Brothers luck ran out with Suicide...