This Thing Looks So Cheap

In case the unofficially official rumors of a big shake-up at LucasFilm had given you reason to hope…

“As part of the ongoing “Star Wars Bring Home The Bounty” campaign, Lucasfilm Consumer Products is partnering with Walt Disney World Resort and Lucasfilm Publishing to give one lucky winner the ultimate adventure: a chance to win a 2-night experience on the Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser before it opens in March 2022, and an exclusive meet and greet with the authors of “Star Wars: The High Republic.”

The Star Wars Story Group isn’t going anywhere, no matter what Kathleen Kennedy’s status is now. And despite the fact that it’s a disaster, Disney is still pushing Star Wars: The High Republic if a meet and greet with the authors is part of the promotional campaign for what is supposed to be Disney World’s newest premier attraction. The cheap as hell, Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser.

Or to be more exact, factions within Disney are pushing it.

The Stories Matter group, whose incompetence I’ve graveled about before is desperate to keep Woke Star Wars afloat and works hand in glove with the Star Wars Story Group to keep their fetid dreams alive. That is the reason the Halcyon is set in the Reyloverse. The leader of this faction rejoices in the name, Scott Trowbridge. Scotty seems to be well on track to becoming the anti-Joe Rohde.

He headlined the dual failures of Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge both East and West as well as the malignantly repulsive Epcot HarmoniUS show.  He is the shit-Midas of Imagineering and yet he not only still has a job but he is working on some of Disney’s highest visibility projects. 

Like the aforementioned Star Wars Hotel-Jail where you get locked up with kids for 48 hours AND pay $6000 for the privilege.  But you do get to do some “fun activities” while you are there, like learning how to play a fake card game.  Attend Captain Karen’s reception. Then you get to go to Space Prom. The next day you go to Galaxy’s Edge and ride the Rise of the Resistance which costs you $20 for a Lightening Lane pass, (but why do that when you can $125 an hour for two days).

There is Lightsaber Training and Bridge Operations.

Did you see anything there worth $6000?  The technology behind the lightsaber training appears to be IR which was invented about seventy years ago.  They have dirt in the air so you can see the laser. Fruit Ninja leaves this in the dust. And that bridge game would have been cutting edge thirty years ago but today anyone who can afford to pay $2.00 a minute for days on end, already has a much better game on a bigger screen.

The more they show of this “experience” the more people cancel.  

Here’s the ship’s Captain.

This is Star Wars for people who think Holdo was the right kind of Admiral.   There is a reason everyone is calling her Captain Karen. 

Who at Disney thought that Captain Doodlebop looked like a reason to pay that kind of money?

Scott Trowbridge, that’s who.

Disney’s internals are looking terrible on this thing, and executives are starting to panic.  Rightfully so.  And yet Scott Trowbridge continues his multi-billion-dollar rampage through Imagineering unhindered.

At least, until now.  

The reskinning of Splash Mountain that was one of Trowbridge’s highest priorities, has been put on hold by Disney executives.  Now I doubt if it’s going to be saved, the animatronics on that ride break down so much (due to their age) that one of the Brer Rabbits is known as the Million-dollar-Bunny because that is how it’s cost to keep it running.  Regardless, Splash Mountain appears to be safe for the next two years.

After this string of underperformance and failure Trowbridge has to be under the microscope.  I think he is now the most senior Imagineer, and he got there by doing whatever Chapek wanted no matter how bad an idea was.  

But at this point his failures have been noticed by the investors.  I’ll go into why this is spelling trouble for him in another article soon to come.  

Okay, I’m done here.