Let’s Play – Who Is Gay Now?

Of course, it’s Robin.

But which one? There are so many to choose from these days.

A boy crime-fighter, at first glance appears to be a terrible idea but if you go deep and really examine it then I think you will find that it is so much worse. Stan Lee was long on the record as absolutely hating the concept on general principle. Unless the kid has superpowers, he’s going to be nothing but a hindrance in a fight. He doesn’t have the muscle power yet, his conscious proprioception is at its worst because of growth spurts. And that says nothing about the repeated psychological traumas he will be subjected to at far too young of an age. The most likely result of this tutelage (assuming he survives) is a highly trained hyper-violent sociopath. A likely candidate for supervillainhood.

But in 1940 the powers that were at National Comics decided that since the vast majority of their readers were adolescent boys, then they should have their own avatar. So Robin was created as a junior partner for Batman. That started a major trend in comics, the juvenile side-kick. There was a ton of them. Speedy, Pieface, Pinky the Whiz Kid, Kid Flash, (the remarkably racist) Wing, and Sandy the Golden Boy. I didn’t make up any of those names and that last sounds like a much more fabulous name than Robin.

By 1970 almost all of these abused children had gone the way of the dinosaur. And Speedy was so badly damaged he became a heroin addict. Robin was the last boy left standing.

However, due to shifts in societal attitude towards the definition of child abuse, keeping Dick Grayson as a perpetual adolescent became problematic.  Consequently, he started to grow up. This created a dilemma for DC because once the readership got used to the idea of Grayson aging they logically expected him to go on to graduate high school and then off to college.  Eventually, the editors decided they couldn’t put it off any longer. Bruce and Dick had a major falling out, Grayson became Nightwing, and the first of a series of replacement Robins was brought onboard. 

So, which Robin is the most likely candidate?

Dick Grayson?

Well, the dirty jokes have been writing themselves for 80 years.  However, while Grayson is the most likely man-in-the-street answer to the question of, “who is Robin?” He has been Nightwing almost as long as he was Robin at this point.  And that is not counting the times he filled in as Batman himself.  It’s the foundation of his life but he’s just not that strongly identified with the character at this point.

Jason Todd?

Dick Grayson’s immediate replacement was so unpopular that when offered a chance to kill him off, Batman’s readers eagerly voted for the death penalty. That does make him pretty disposable. However, he rose from the dead and became the psychotic vigilante, the Red Hood. (You see what I meant about a “highly trained hyper-violent sociopath”). That means he’s otherwise occupied.

Carrie Kelly?

Well, she has the looks for it, but they would have to get Frank Miller to sign off on it and he probably wouldn’t.  

Enjoy a video of not-quite Carrie Kelly in action.

Tim Drake?

A much more popular Robin than Jason Todd.  While not as strong a physical combatant as Grayson or Todd, his thing is brainpower. Even Batman has said, he will eventually surpass him as “the world’s greatest detective.” He has a girlfriend and being an evangelical  Christian is fundamental to his character.  He technically isn’t Robin anymore, he fights crime as Red Robin.

Damien Wayne? 

The current Robin is the son of Bruce Wayne and the grandson of Ra’s al Ghul. Talia introduced Bruce to his surprise son after the boy had been raised by the Society of Assassins (Ra’s al Ghul was planning to possess Damien’s body). Consequently, Damien’s view is the guy who isn’t alive, isn’t a problem. This creates some fundamental issues between father and son.

While I’m sure the collection of pervs and creeps that run DC would love to make him “precocious,” he’s the least likely candidate due to his age. As chaotic as Warner Brothers is, even they would come down hard on that one. But you never know what the mentally ill will try to get away with.

Stephanie Brown?

Femine. Desireable. Yes, it could be Stephanie. The daughter of the Cluemaster, she chose crimefighting as her way of getting back at Daddy. She was Tim Drake’s girlfriend. Her primary identity is Spoiler but she was Robin for a while and then was promoted to Batgirl. Since she was created by the Legend Chuck Dixon, this would be a great chance for DC to stick a finger in his eye by making her a lesbian.  

All of these characters have always been straight but when has that ever stopped SJWs from corrupting anything they touch.

So, who did they pick?

Who is gay now?

(*drum roll*)

It’s the Christian, Tim Drake!  

Did you seriously expect it to be anyone else?