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DC COMICS DROPPED FROM COMICON

It is over. It is ended. DC Comics will not have a booth at San Diego Comicon. "(T)the company, headed by CEO David Zaslav, is making big changes to its approach to Comic-Con as its various divisions make their first appearances at the annual pop culture celebration in three years, due to the pandemic. For the first time, Warners, including DC, will have no presence on the convention floor, a move that breaks with decades of precedent. The company had...

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Chapek Played the Game of Thrones and Won

There was an unscheduled meeting of the Board of Directors on Monday. At the time it was assumed that it was in response to the disaster of Pixar's Lightyear. While I'm sure something about that was mentioned, it turns out the real reason was something else. Budget Cut Bob Chapek's contract was due to expire in February of next year. But it appears the BOD decided to end speculation early and renew Chapek's contract now for another...

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Marvel’s New Team of Trans Superheroes 

No, I didn’t invent this.  I swear. More surprisingly, Daniel Kibblesmith had nothing to do with it, which I find kind of shocking.  It’s just that good. No artwork yet but I can’t wait to see it. CBR so don’t click on it. “The story introduces readers to four new trans characters, all of whom are equipped with their own unique set of skills. The group includes Pity Girl/Nora (she/her), who has the ability to hypnotize people with sad stories; Aphelion/Reed (they/them), who has freezing...

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The 21st Century of Gerry and Slyvia Anderson – Space 1999 (part 1)

When I first saw the Millennium Falcon as a little kid in 1977, I thought it was the coolest thing in all existence.  There was nothing about it that I didn’t love.  The WWII AA guns were cool, the B-29 bomber bridge was cool, even the boarding ramp was cool.  I had literal dreams about the Falcon.  I was in love.  That isn’t to say that it didn’t raise a question in my young little head.  If this was a freighter, where did you put...

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The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Obi-Wan Kenobi

Yay, it’s over. At least the episodes were short.  It had that going for it. If nothing else. This entire mini-series is defined by three characteristics: undermining canon, internal inconsistency, and being wholly unnecessary.  Let’s take a quick look at the very first time we met Obi-Wan in 1977.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQfR8WD_YYM Kenobi is quickly established as a Gandalf/Merlin/hedge-wizard-in-general figure. If he ever was a fighter, his bad-ass days are clearly behind him.  He’ll be a teacher and advisor but that is going to be pretty much it.  He...

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Kraven the Vegan

No, I'm not joking. Not even a little bit. Kraven the fucking Hunter is going to be an animal lover in his own movie. "Following in the footsteps of Venom and Morbius, Sony is launching a spinoff movie for another classic Spider-Man villain: Kraven the Hunter. Due out next year, it stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson in his third (!) superhero role. But a new interview is raising some questions about the direction of this new franchise after Taylor-Johnson characterized Kraven...

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The Death of Disney Animation (Part Three of Two)

(Given that we are witnessing what may well be the start of the disolution of Pixar, I thought it appropriate to bump this piece. Links to the first and second parts of this series are directly below) Part One Part Two If there is one thing that Disney-trained executives universally fail at, it is processing bad news that will remain bad news. No matter how bad some event is, Disney-trained execs are always going to try and find “a spoon full of...

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Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck – Monster High The (Live Action) Movie

They should have hired cosplayers for this thing. Today’s post was done at the urgent and enraged request of the Eldest Dark Spawn.  From Nickelodeon and Paramount +, the one-two punch of suck comes Monster High - The Movie.  This is going to be a live-action version of the toy/video cross-over series from about ten years ago.  I can’t fault the original business model as it handily had its way with my wallet whenever I made the financially ill-considered journey to Toys R’...

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To Bankruptcy And Beyond!

$51 million domestic, Lightyear is officially a bomb. Disney had no idea this was coming and is trying to figure out what went wrong. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (*gasp...wheez...gasp*) Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! This flick was supposed to be Pixar's slamdunk and honestly if they had hired the writer's from the TV series they would have had one, no problem. From Bounding Into Comics "The film failed to dethrone Jurassic World: Dominion, which brought in $58.6 million in its second weekend at the box office. Earlier...

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It’s Worse Than I Thought – Lightyear

You weren't planning to see it anyway and you are right to avoid it. This film is a Pedomouse spectacular. Lightyear is a product of Reimagine Tomorrow. The lesbian kiss was the least of it. The entire film is centered around the lesbian relationship. In fact the lesbians get pregnant. So, forget about awkward questions from your seven year old about two women in love. Pedomouse wants you to have discussions about how two women can get...

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The Wreck of the Halcyon

Disney is spending a lot of money to learn the answer to something they could just find out just by reading the Arkhaven Blog.  Why is the Star Wars Galactic Cruise a failure? When you have a massive collapse like this, it’s rarely if ever just one thing.  It is always a string of bad decisions and they always come from the very top.  First and foremost: Chapek didn’t spend the money he needed to. This thing is cheap and it shows.  He couldn’t...

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Embarrassing Admission

I seriously overestimated the main writer of Obi-Wan Kenobi.   One of the main features of this show has been Reee-va’s grudge against Obi-Wan.  You were supposed to guess at her motivation for wanting to kill him.  And it now turns out that this show would have been much better off with any of your guesses then the writer's answer. The first scene in this entire show is a bunch of Younglings practicing their lightsaber drills.  Then order 66 kicks off.  Their teacher is killed, and...

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The Broken Drinker

I feel your pain dude Disney's upcoming list of Star Wars and Marvel's curatated, homogenized entertainment products left the Critical Drinker reeeling in horror. He was a broken man at the end of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEA8z2lwBqg Now compare AZ's list with the BS list that The Nerd Crew invented five years ago. Back then most of the projects Red Letter Media predicted hadn't even been announced yet.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3K44GQwxbA&t=487s

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The Flash Problem

Warner Brothers is too deeply into Ezra Miller’s Flash movie to just shelf it.  That appears to be an option that is off the table.  The problem is that Ezra Miller has gone from bad boy to public pedophile.   If you can’t keep that shit under wraps, Hollywood has no use or respect for you.  Not these days anyway.   The statement that Miller’s groomee made that was supposed to make her sound like she was simply a young woman with her own agency, following...

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The Dark Herald Was Right, Naturally

I appear to be one of maybe five people who saw this coming. “This attack was so sudden I have to wonder, did Bob Chapek talk Ron DeSantis into it?  I have no doubt whatsoever that Bob Chapek is the one who leaked the Reimagine Tomorrow videos clips to Christopher Ruffo.  He wants Reimagine Tomorrow destroyed.  Right now, it’s protected by the Board of Directors, but they will be facing a shareholder revolt if this thing trashes Disney’s stock price.   What would Chapek get...

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A Song of Grod Chapters

DISCUSS AT THE ARKHAVEN BLOG These are the completed chapters for A Song of Grod. Yes, I know they are pretty raw. That is because this is a raw first draft. For those of you who have been asking about this here it is. UPDATE: Click on the first chapter if you are curious. You'll know if it's for you pretty quickly. Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 *new* Chapter...

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Blogs and Ends: The Low Hanging Fruit Edition

You guessed it, I'm busy today. So you get some driveby speed blogging. FIRST Here is the first of the (*long tired sigh*) Disney Predator movies. It's called Predator Prey. The director is a Bad Reboot alumnus. What could possibly go wrong? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ7LytagKlc I'll say this, if the story had been about a young Brave and there were no whites in it, then there might have been an interesting concept to found here somewhere. As it is, I guarantee this will...

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How Did LucasFilm Make Something This Stupid

Just as a reminder, here is Leia's message to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Does this look like someone with an established relationship? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N_Cj3ZS9-A "General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the... Oh, forget all that crap! Ben, it's me. Remember all the times you saved my ass nine years ago? We-l-l-l..." Is Leia going to get a memory wipe at the end of this? Okay, that does mean this entire show was a waste of time (which it is) but...

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The Dark Herald Recommends Stranger Things 4 (Part I)

“Evil is not an absence of good. It is not a choice...Evil is one of two forces in the cosmos, an agency locked in eternal struggle against its antithesis...Only good and evil exist. And not even a hair's width of space separates them.” - Vecna Netflix kicked open the money spigot on this one.  The quality of the production is vastly superior to Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi.  The cinematography is motion picture quality and each episode of this half-season is feature-length. The second...

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Book Discussion: The Missionaries by Owen Staney

Take up the White Man’s burden, The savage wars of peace—  Fill full the mouth of Famine And bid the sickness cease; And when your goal is nearest The end for others sought, Watch sloth and heathen Folly Bring all your hopes to nought. — Rudyard Kipling The Missionaries is both a rollicking rip-roaring old-fashioned great white hunter adventure as well as hilariously stinging modern satire. If L. Rider Haggard, James Clavell, and Keith Laumer had decided to collaborate on a book The Missionaries...

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The Dark Recommends – The Great War of Archimedes 

This one is a little different from the usual pop culture stuff I review. The Great War of Archimedes is of all things a drama about the building of the Yamato.  I found the film intriguing because it’s an excellent example of the Japanese school of storytelling, following as it does the structure of Kishōtenketsu. The producers clearly spent a big chunk of their period piece money on the first scene. Which was a pretty decent rendering of the destruction of the...

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Is Amber Heard Out of Aquaman 2

Maybe. That is the rumor that is flying everywhere at the moment but there is no confirmation from Warner Brothers or more importantly a source that I trust. The rumor that Meera will die in childbirth is idiotic. That started as a throwaway idea by the guy who leaked that Heard is out in the first place. Meera's screen time has been reduced to ten minutes. Given the problems that Heard has caused the studio and Zaslav's desire...

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RE:View The Black Hole

I recently watched The Black Hole on the same day that I saw Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness.  When I got home from the theater my kids were watching it and I sat down with them intending to make fun.  I couldn’t do it. Having just watched Doctor Strange 2, The Black Hole appeared to be a masterpiece of subtly layered meta contexts and deeply structured storytelling.  I decided, wisely, to put off doing a RE:View of it until the...

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First Impressions: Stranger Things -Season 4 

Well, it’s good. That’s in a nutshell. I’ve finished episode 4.  I spent half of the first episode waiting for either the Woke or the Suck to arrive.  And it didn’t. Still, I’ve seen single good first episodes before.  Moon Knight comes to mind.   However, by the time I reached the end of episode 3 of season 4, it was time to accept the reality of the situation.   Stranger Things is good again. This is easily the best work this show has done since the first season.  The...

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Joe Quesada Is Out at Marvel Comics

About time. No one in comics will miss you Joe. A while back I had noted that when Geoff Morrell left Disney, and everyone was (for some silly ass reason) declaring that he got fired. Only I and WDWPro were saying that he quit. We were saying that for the same reason. His departing statement didn't look anything like what you would expect to see from someone getting fired from Disney. Getting fired from Disney if you...

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Obi-Wan Kenobi Is the New Batwoman

https://twitter.com/starwars/status/1531519653951836161 https://twitter.com/starwars/status/1531519656254590976?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1531519656254590976%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fthatparkplace.com%2Ffans-drop-star-wars-in-droves-star-wars-claims-racism%2F LucasFilm sent out this tweet at 1:00 am this morning.   Well done LucasFilm, you just blew the loudest dog whistle you could find telling everyone on Earth that you know Obi-Wan Kenobi is bad. That is what tweets like this are now.  Nothing short of a public announcement that this show is just as bad as Batwoman.  You don’t see Top Gun, Ghostbusters Afterlife or Stranger Things season 4* sending out announcements like this.  That is because they know their show is good enough...

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RE:View Young Sherlock Holmes

When my wife looked over my piece on Enola Holmes there was something at the end that caught her attention: “But if they (the writers) had let her first love die… If they had allowed Enola to fail. I would have had to have given it a higher rating.  It would have made this a much better film. It would have made Enola, alone. This would also have given her character a catalyst moving forward.  She had failed once and massively when it really counted...

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Book Discussion – Servants of War by Larry Correia and Steve Diamond

I don’t have the greatest track record with collaborations.  Neither reading nor especially writing.  My one attempt at a collaborative work ended in anger, recriminations, an incomprehensible manuscript and writer’s block.   Never. Freaking. Again. My luck with reading them has been better, (it would be hard-pressed to be worse). But I have rarely found a collaboration that is better than the individual author’s work.  That is not to say that I haven’t found them over the years.  Niven and Pournelle's collaborations were mostly better than their...

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Obi-Wan Kenobi: First Impressions

Let’s get something straight from the start.  Leia was the special one. In case you are wondering what the Disney feminist bait and switch is this time that’s it.  She was always the super extra special one.  Luke meant nothing.  He didn’t deserve any of the accolades he received because Leia should have had them. Anyway, the first five minutes were good. We get a quick scene where we see Younglings being trained, just as Order 66 kicks off.  Then we cut to the Inquisitors...

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Yeah, It’s Gonna Suck – Thor: Love and Thunder

The final trailer for Thor: Simp and Blunder dropped. Here it is. Look at it. LOOK AT IT!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go8nTmfrQd8 That. Was. Awful. Thor 4 is what happens if you put a Gamma Male in charge of a barbarian hero.  Kevin Feige’s resentment of the blonde, muscular, popular guy has been on display since Iger stupidly fired Ike Perlmutter and put Kevin Feige in charge of all things Marvel. In Thor, Feige has found the perfect whipping boy for his high school bully frustrations.  Ever since Endgame, Thor has...

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The Dark Herald Recommends Last Knights

This is from Slant Magazine. I’m only posting the link so you can laugh at the writer’s breathtaking ignorance, unearned arrogance, and hilarious stupidity. “Last Knights is another macho celebration of honor and self-sacrifice, of fighting for “freedom” because someone else told you to, that’s devoid of any acknowledgement(sp) of the inherent irony of that ideology. This film’s neurotic code of conduct is best encapsulated by a character who insists that “the wounds of honor are self-inflicted.” When Bartok (Morgan Freeman),...

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