The End Times Are Upon Twitch

I’m grateful that I’m too old to get into Twitch. While I can understand why hardcore gamers would want to watch top-tier players to hopefully pick up some techniques and tactics, the Twitch THOT was for a long time less explicable to me.

I mean I can understand something like Chaturbate. That’s comprehensible if less than laudable but at least I can see what they are getting out of that.

It took me a while to figure out why guys were turning their wallets upside for women like Amouranth and Pokimane. Okay, Amouranth isn’t a mystery because she’s on Only Fans, but the rest of the THOTs were just a headscratcher for me.

These simps spend money they can’t afford on women who will NEVER have anything to do with them in real life. Even online can barely have time for a bright smile and a “Hey, ButtBandit8320! Glad you’re here!”

Although, I finally figured it out. Basically, THOTs are selling the girlfriend experience. Yeah, it sucks to be the drones that go panting after THOTs but they are at the bottom of the social sexual hierarchy. They spend their entire social lives online. As sad as it is, they have never learned to be their best self in person. They are desperate to have a girlfriend and this is about as close as they will get. This is it for them. At least it is a little bit of social interaction with a pretty girl. And there is an emotional support system of competing simps who are all in the same boat, even if it is just to brag about the austerity measures they take in their personal lives to give a $1000 a month to Pokimane. My favorite was the guy who gave up his apartment and sleeps behind the bushes at Panera to steal their wifi at night.

xQc on the other hand is a gamer that has repeatedly gotten in trouble at Twitch for saying things that he shouldn’t. So, good for him.

Amouranth isn’t really a gamer but I have to admit she… Or at least her husband has a solid business plan. She now owns a chain of truckstops and is worth about $27 million.

However, she remains a girl next door (at heart anyway). She has repeatedly stated that she has never had cosmetic surgery:

Of course, she also claimed for years to be single. It was no secret she was married but her simps were determined to believe her no matter what publically available records said. At least they were until she had her on-camera meltdown about how miserable life with her husband is.

She claimed to have split with him afterward but as yet there are no divorce filings, so there is some question about whether this is just a return to her “I’m so lonely… And single“ routine.

Regardless, Amouranth has been repeatedly banned from the Amazon-owned Twitch for pushing the envelope on what is acceptable content. Given the perma-bans Twitch has handed out for the mildest of thought crimes, no one should pretend that her bannings were anything but a little time off for Amouranth. But as for the guys that were perma-banned there went their income. What were their crimes? Who the fuck knows? Because their fates were being decided by people like this male-to-female trans who self-identifies as a deer, and I didn’t make up a word of that.

Twitch finally sank themselves last week when they announced that they were “altering the bargain.” Up until then, the payout had been 70% for the players and 30% for Twitch. Suddenly Twitch decides it’s a fifty/fifty split, banned everyone from multi-streaming on “Twitch-like” platforms — including non-affiliate streamers, plus there could be no second-party ads which is where the mid-tier streamers make their money.

Twitch was apparently “surprised” by the negative reaction of the people they had just bankrupted.

And they were horrified when Amouranth and xQc awarded Twitch the order of the Iron Middle Finger and headed off to Kick.

Kick is allegedly funded by gambling money and I don’t know how litigious they are so I’m going to keep my opinions about Kick to myself. Regardless, the payout there for the moment is 95% to gamers. The payout obviously can’t stay that way if Kick is ever going to make a profit. Also, Kick is on Amazon’s server farm so I think they are playing with fire.

Or not.

Because here’s the big thing, Amazon is currently in retraction. This a company that bought everything on the internet it could get its tentacles on because they had all the money, and didn’t know what to spend it on, so they went with the Bezos default of, “Just throw some shit at the wall and measure what sticks.”

Those days are now over. The subsidiaries that were “loss leaders” were tolerable in the days of mega-money income for tax purposes but not anymore. If you are not pulling your weight you are going on a diet. Which I suspect is what some frightened execs at Twitch did when they sent out that death sentence of a TOS revision.

xQc is big enough that a large number of his followers will likely come with him to kick. I expect ALL of Amouranth’s simps to follow her.

This leaves the question of, how long can Twitch last at this point? Because horror of horrors, they are facing competition. Kick just gave Twitch a major black eye but that probably isn’t what’s worrying the C-suite. What is bothering them is that Musk is planning to revive a new and improved Periscope.

Developing.

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