Who Will Be the First Openly Gay Star Wars Character?

Who Will Be the First Openly Gay Star Wars Character?

I sense a disturbance.

REPOST: 2/8/23 from two years ago. Disney/LucasFilm will be looking into the queerness of a long established Star Wars character. Which one you ask? (long tired sigh) #TheDarkHeraldWasRight

A stupid question to be certain but one that SJWs are demanding an answer to.

And Disney will absolutely provide that answer.  There is zero doubt in my mind that past a certain point, one of the senior executives at Fort Mickey will start demanding it.

During the run-up to the Rise of Skywalker, there was a big Stan campaign, #SWRepMatters on Twitter to try and get Finn and Poe out of the closet and into each other’s arms.  Sadly, for the deranged malignantly repulsive fifteen-year-old girls on Twitter, Rose had stolen a kiss from Finn, and since she is underrepresented, this forever cucked poor Poe.  

I don’t make up these rules, I just shake my head in horror at them.

So then attention was switched to Lando.  Surely it would be Lando that would become the first Gay character on Star Wars.  I mean they made Donald Glover say that Lando was pan-sexual.  That means he’s Gay right?

Well, no not so much.  In the Solo a Star Wars Story, Lando was simply revealed as having exceptionally bad taste in sex dolls. Abysmal in fact.  Truth be said, if I was Princess Leia and I found about L3-37, I would be deeply offended that Lando had ever found me desirable.  Regardless, L3-37 was clearly gendered with a female persona, even if that persona was Phoebe Waller-Bridge.  

And everyone in the audience cheered when she died.  

So not Lando.

Who will it be?

Think about it. The SJWs at the LucasFilm Story Group may indeed be on borrowed time.  If their Slay Queen Kathleen has fallen then they are on their way out (she wasn’t and as far as I can tell never she will leave).  Leftie or not, no one in Hollywood with half a brain will keep that clown circus on the payroll (#TheDarkHeraldWasWrong).  Consequently, they will try to do as much damage to the brand and set it in stone before they are shown the door.

What character would most damage Star Wars by making him Gay? It’s obvious when you think about it.

It’s gonna be Luke Skywalker.  

The groundwork was already been laid.

Think about it.  Luke has shown almost zero interest in women in the movies (except for his sister).  Yet he clearly had a very close relationship with Big Darklighter.  Yeah, they are totally gonna rename him Big, it’s just a little more obvious that way.  

I mean look at him.  1970s Pornstache, check. Leather pants, check. Wearing a cape, check.  He is even called, “Big” for crying out loud.  And remember how broken up Luke was when Big’s fighter crashed into the Deathstar?

They know they can’t get rid of Luke now. Mickey the Great and Terrible has personally recalled Luke from internal exile. So if they can’t get rid of him, they will co-opt him.

And once any character has been graced by the power of the Gay, no one is allowed to change their orientation again.  This is now Hollywood Law.

Yeah, it’s gonna be Luke.

Somebody will be pissed when she finds out.

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